Friday, December 30, 2011

2011 in a nutshell

I thought 2010 was a huge year what with Tricky being born and having surgery and blah blah blah... but I think it's been trumped. 2011 has been full on. Some amazing things, some sucky things. So here is Glow of 2011 in a nutshell:

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck. It's me in a nutshell!!! I'm hilarious.

But really, here's 10 things I got up to in 2011:
Busy, busy, busy! So busy that my list of 10 became a list of 20. Can't wait to see what 2012 has in store for me! My New Years Resolution is to... um, ya know... do stuff.

Was 2011 good to you? Or rather sucky?

Thursday, December 29, 2011

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Auld Lang Syne Edition

Happy New Year, Flogsters!!!

Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never thought upon or something like that. Which to me basically means forget people who weigh you down and move on. I'm all philosophical today, huh?

In the new year there will be BIG changes happening at Where's My Glow? because, well, time moves on and things change. It's unlikely to be a redesign because, well, I can't afford one (plus I still have business cards that match it).

Have a happy and safe new year, Flogsters. Thanks for all your support over the past 12 months.

No time for sentimental crap, let's Flog it, for one last time in 2011.

P.S. I'm on holidays with slightly dodgy rural internet so this is posting on Thursday night but the linky will open at 6:30am AEDT on Friday.

How to FlogYoBlog
  1. Follow Where's My Glow?
  2. Bow down at the alter of Mummy Time; Blog-goddess, all round groovy gal and creator of FYBF
  3. Grab the FYBF button and post it on your sidebar or in the post you're linking up
  4. Link in your favourite/best post from the week (don't just put your homepage URL)
  5. Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger then be nice and spread the comment love


Friday, December 23, 2011

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Christmukkah Edition

Merry Christmukkah Floggers!!!


‘Twas the Friday before Christmukkah, and all through the Blog,
Not a post was stirring, except for the Flog;
The gingerbread has been published so people can try it,
Make it yourself; you don’t have to buy it!
Add some shortbread to your feast post haste,
Just be careful or it’ll end up on your waist.

You’ll be surrounded by rellies when the big day arrives,
And for safety it’s best to hide all the knives,
Put up with a kiss from pervy Uncle Rick,
And cousin Peter who’s always been a dick,
Then second cousin Janey makes a comment so crude,
And the whole thing erupts in to one big feud.

At least you get a present, awesome, you’ve scored,
You’ve been a good girl all year; this is your reward!
Then when you’re feeling all nice and full,
Grab a giant cracker and give it a pull,
A shitty paper hat and a lame ass joke,
And it’s all because of some old fat bloke.

Enjoy the holidays, Floggers!



Thursday, December 22, 2011

Mild Gingerbread Recipe

I have gone a little gingerbread crazy this Christmas. I'd never made it before a few weeks ago and now I seem to be making a batch a week.

So why haven't I put on any weight? Well, because I don't actually eat gingerbread. I don't like ginger! But I love the way the house smells when I'm baking it.

I've been playing with a few recipes and having a bit of a tinker to try and make a mild version that I can eat and I've come up with this one.

Mild Gingerbread Recipe
(for those who get their spice elsewhere in life)

Ingredients
  • 120g room temperature butter
  • 100g brown sugar
  • 1 tsp vanilla essence
  • 1 large egg
  • 100g golden syrup
  • 3 cups of plain flour
  • 2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tbsp ginger
  • 1/2 tbsp cinnamon
  • pinch of nutmeg

Method
  • Cream butter, sugar and vanilla on high speed
  • Beat in egg and golden syrup on medium speed
  • Sift in flour and baking powder
  • Add in ginger, cinnamon and nutmeg then stir to combine
  • Cover and refrigerate for an hour to firm the dough
  • Roll out dough between two sheets of baking paper and cut however you like
  • Bake at 180C for 10 minutes (or longer depending on how thick you like your gingerbread!) until golden brown at the edges
I've not tried a gingerbread house yet I've been too busy with the gingerbread men (above), an army of gingerbread Santas:

And an edible centrepiece Christmas tree just like the shortbread one:
 

Do you love or hate gingerbread?

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Edible Christmas Centrepiece - White Chocolate and Cranberry Shortbread Christmas Tree

I am obsessed with baking at the moment. I keep getting in trouble on Twitter and Instagram for posting photos and making people hungry.

So it's about time I shared some recipes!

Instead of giving my mum a present this year I'm making her an edible Christmas centrepiece to decorate her festive table. She's really excited after seeing my first attempt and is now themeing her entire table around the centrepiece... I really can't blame her, look at it!


White Chocolate and Cranberry Shortbread Christmas Tree


Ingredients :
  • 250g room temperature butter
  • 3/4 cup icing sugar
  • 1 tsp vanilla essence
  • 2 cups plain flour
  • 1/2 cup dried cranberries (craisins), chopped
  • 100g white chocolate, chopped
  • Cachous or mini MMs for decorating

Method:
  • Cream butter, sugar and vanilla with an electric beater (or with a hand beater if you want to look like The Hulk afterwards)
  • Stir in the flour, craisins and chocolate
  • Pull dough together (it will be very crumbly), cover with clingwrap and place in fridge for an hour to firm
  • Roll out between two sheets of baking paper and using nested star cookie cutters, create a bunch of stars
  • Place in oven at 160C for 15 minutes - although it depends how thick you've rolled the dough
Once they're completely cool you can use royal icing to create your tree - start by placing a few dabs of icing on the base of the largest star and sticking it to your board/plate so that it doesn't slide off. Then turn each star 45 degrees from the last and place a little dab in the centre to hold it in place.
If you happen to drop one of the cookies like I did, don't panic, just use icing to glue each piece down, you won't be able to tell when the next layer goes on top. 

Place your cachous or MMs on as you go, while the icing is wet, so they stick.

My first attempt was a little wonky, but with the combination of cranberries and white chocolate it still tasted amazing!

Will you be decorating with a Shortbread Christmas Tree this year?

He Did What!? Wednesday - By The Duchess of Cambridge(Street)

Thspeech Impediment - By The Duchess of Cambridge(Sreet)
(as told to Glowless over coffee)

There is one thing that annoys me about babies. I can get over the spew and the crying, and I can genuinely say that a dirty nappy doesn't bother me at all. The thing that drives me mental is the ability for a small child to make everyone around it speak improperly.

Sing song words and speech impediments along the lines of Elmer Fudd are apparently de rigour for talking to infants.

One such baby talker is my Father-in-Law. He will put on a cutesy voice, mix up his letters and even lisp when he talks to my daughter. Not just sometimes either. Every. Single. Time.

"Naww wook at your cute widdle dwess! You're so pwetty!"

I physically tense when he speaks to her that way. It grates my nerves. I'm sure when she's older my daughter will think her grandfather actually has a lisp.

Recently when getting her dressed to go see her grandparents I thought I would throw a spanner in the works and not put her in a "cute widdle dwess", just to avoid hearing him say it.

I dressed her in some gorgeous yellow pants and a knitted jacket then made my way to the in-laws' house, feeling a little bit clever that I was about to outsmart him.

And then he did it.

"Naww wook at your widdle stwipey twousers! You're so pwetty!"

Damn. Foiled again.
___ . . . ___ . . . ___

The final He Did What!? Wednesday was provided for use by The Duchess of Cambridge(Street), a good friend of mine. She grew up in the same town as Map Guy then married a bloke he went to uni with. We are the WAGS.

She is on maternity leave from her job as a hospital pharmacist to care for her very gorgeous one year old Princess with the most adorable giggle you've ever heard. The Duchess is so uber smart that you'll want her on your team at a quiz night to answer all the science-y questions.

She is a cat person but I have forgiven her for that.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

10 Reasons Why I Don't Like Your Outfit

I'm donning the sexy Cranky Pants for another rant. This time, I'm gonna aim my venom at fashion.

I'll preface this by saying in the last 15 years I have gone from a size 10 up to a size 18, and now I'm pretty much a 14 (unless you count the three things I own that are a 12 which are probably just mislabeled) and in that time I have committed many fashion sins. Such as *ahem* this. But it just wouldn't be a rant if there wasn't an air of hypocrisy now would there?

10 Reasons Why I Don't Like Your Outfit

1. Your shorts are so short your bum cheeks are not covered. Now I really cannot stress this enough, if I can see your cheeks, then you are not actually wearing pants, you're wearing denim underwear. Also if your pockets are longer than your shorts it kinda looks like you have a piece of toilet paper stuck to you... not the best look.

2. You have DD breasts and are obviously wearing a C cup bra which has effectively cut your norks in half giving the impression that you now have four. The multiple boob look should only be attempted by that one girl in Total Recall - you know the one.

3. You look amazing in something I tried on and looked like a Christmas Ham in. OK, I admit, this one is just based in pure, unadulterated jealousy.

4. I can see your labia. Girls, you may have amazing legs from here to tomorrow and love showing them off but if your skirt could be mistaken for a belt then I think you need to put something else on. What do you do if you need to pick something up off the floor? No really, I have no idea how you can possibly do it without chucking a Brittney Spears.

5. You have a dark bra on under a light shirt. You are not Carrie Bradshaw! For the record I thought she looked crap when she did it too.

6. Leggings as pants. Enough said.

7. You dress for the size you want to be not the size you actually are. In other words, muffin tops, back fat and bulges or shapeless tents. There are amazing clothes out there for people of all shapes and sizes, though sadly sometimes they are hard to find (ask Nikki at Styling You, she'll help you no matter what your size).

8. I can see three inches of bum crack and/or underwear. Do you have a plumbers license? No? Then pull your god damn pants up!

9. You are covered in the insignia of a team you've never actually seen play, from a country you've never visited and a city you could barely place on a map.

10. You are wearing clothes that could easily lead to any number of passers by mistaking you for an exotic dancer... and you're only fifteen. Now you might think that my recent birthday means I've ticked over in to the fuddy duddy category but you'd be wrong - I've been in that group for a long time already,. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!

What makes you think an outfit is horrible?

Monday, December 19, 2011

I turned 30 and all I got was this awesome weekend

So I'm 30 now.

And it totally rocks my socks.

On Friday I went with my Twitter ho Kim to Lord of the Skins in Joondalup to get a tattoo. I'm told, by a certain 20 year old who shall remain nameless, that I'm not allowed to call it ink, that it's akin to an oldie saying LOL and thinking it means lots of love. It shits me when that happens and I don't want to be lumped in to that category. It's like the time I saw on Facebook how my friend's mother in law wrote on her wall "We have to put Fido down today, the cancer has returned. LOL."

Because cancer in dogs is just fucking hilarious, obviously. But i digress, back to the ink tattoo.

I wasn't nervous seeing as it is my second tattoo (having a tramp stamp), but i was afraid of flinching. Needn't have worried, I didn't even realize Brizzy had started - see that, we're on a first name basis now. All I could feel was the vibration and I was waiting for the scratch only to be told he'd nearly finished the first letter. Which is of course proof that I have super human pain threshold levels obviously... and all of a sudden I want to say "Save the cheerleader, save the world".

Sitting in a chair for 45 minutes would have been boring with out Kim and the fact that he brought along a birthday present for me, opened it and started playing with it. And by playing with it I mean shooting me.

My first ever Nerf Gun at 30. Awesome!

 The tattoo! I'm in love with it!

Fast forward through a few boring bits like making sushi and cakes and blah blah blah and hey presto it's the next day. My 30th birthday! Tricky, as usual, woke up around 6am for a feed but then I handballed him and went back to bed - my birthday present from Map Guy was a sleep in and it was AWESOME! Well my real present was our holiday last month, so he wasn't allowed to get me anything else.

I only decided a few weeks ago to have a little party and decided a sunset BBQ at the beach would be perfect. Good friends, a kick arse outfit, sausages, kebabs, salad (that no one ate - because you don't make friends with salad) and an amazing view. What more could I ask for?

The birthday outfit. Am now a fashion blogger.

Well, a cake a suppose. It's not called Cake Day for nothing, right?


What happens when one of the Ps from your
Happy Birthday candles snaps? You improvise!!!

One of my friends commented (nicely) that the cake was quite plain with it's stark white fondant and a rim of coloured chocolate bits around the edge so I nonchalantly said that I only wanted a plain cake, didn't want to make a fuss... then I cut it open and the ooohs and aaaaahs were amazing. I could feel my domestic goddess points going up and up and up right then and there.

The Rainbow Cake of Awesome!

 Wait, let's see that a little closer:

Oooohhh yeaaaahhh. Not so plain now!

It was a brilliant day, an amazing night and it's going to be a great year! Thanks so much for all the wishes, I feel spoiled!!!

P.S. Happy 2nd Blogiversary to me!
P.P.S. GO ENTER NOW!



30thBirthdayGiveaway

Saturday, December 17, 2011

30th Birthday Glowing Giveaway

On this day, thirty years ago, a lycra clad Olivia Newton-John was gyrating at the top of the charts, the relatively new drama, A Country Practice, was airing it's 10th ever episode, and a 28 year old mother in Perth dropped her two children (aged one and two) off at her mother's on her way to hospital.

At 2:11pm, a 4.3kg mammoth of a baby girl was born. She scored 9/10 on her APGARS and has been an overachiever ever since!

That's right, it's my birthday. My 30th birthday! Happy birthday to me!!! Excuse me while I go and sing myself a little tune and eat some cake. And I can see no better way to celebrate than by having the biggest giveaway I've ever had. All together now: Hooray!

I've got a stack of amazing prizes up for grabs with a total value of over $3000!

To enter, all you have to do is leave a comment below. Yes, it's that simple.

Your comment can be anything - which prize you'd like the most, a birthday wish, or a brief synopsis of the Lord of The Rings plot. I'm really not fussy. But you have to do something special because this is not a game of chance - not when there are this many cool things up for grabs!

You can enter as many times as you like and you can also grab extra entries by sharing the link on Facebook and Twitter then coming back and leaving a separate comment telling me you've done it. Then feel free to just keep pimping it out some more... you know, for the Karma or something.

SO, without further ado, here is the massive list of prizes:

Comprehensive PR Plan for your Blog or Small Business – RRP $2500 


Madam Bipolar will map key audiences and work with the winner to develop key messages, plus develop a PR tool box (release templates, media lists and help the winner feed key messages into audience communication eg. suggestions for Tweets and Facebook pages).

Madam Bipolar has 17 years experience in public relations and journalism, including a stint with the multinational PR agency, Hill & Knowlton and as the public face for CHOICE, an independent consumer group. She will work with you for a week to develop a comprehensive and invaluable public relations plan.
_ _ _

Portrait Session – RRP $200 


The multi-talented Kristyn from MummyK has donated a photography package! Win a one hour professional profile photo session (natural light, venue, time and date to be arranged) with five free soft copies of edited photos (winner's choice) which would look great on your website or business cards. Sorry, Sydney only.

If you’re a blogger and would like to share, this prize can be given to TWO lucky bloggers, however, you have to be willing to do the shoot together (i.e. same place, time and day) but you will have an hour each.
_ _ _

Six Month Online Weight Watchers Membership – RRP $220
Christmas is almost here and a lot of us will overindulge. Shed the unwanted kilos, get healthy and feel better about yourself with all the resources Weight Watchers offer. Food listings, recipes, goal trackers and fitness info will get you back in your pre-Chrissy pants in no time.
_ _ _

Cars2 Pop Up Tent and Blu-Ray Pack – RRP $75
 
Tricky is fast becoming obsessed with anything automotive so when he saw our Pixar party pack arrive his eye boggled out of his head much like they do in the cartoons. He would be sleeping in his pop up tent if he could, he loves it! Perfect size for playing in but able to fold down to nothing is a win win situation for me!
_ _ _

2x Colour Co Makeup Train Case – RRP $30 each
Get your hands on the perfect starter pack of makeup for your tween or teen thanks to Coles. Eyeshadow, eyeliner, nail polish, blush, lipstick and the all-important brushes. Plus anything in a train case is super cool!
_ _ _

2x The Stig Bodywash – RRP $10 each

Some say he relishes rolling in used engine oil and that he bathes only in high octane petrol… all we know is, he’s called The Stig. If you don’t wish to smell like petrol or oil, then rev your engine down to Coles and get some Stig bodywash.
_ _ _

The Dragon and the Lizard – RRP $10

Tricks adores books and though the words in this book are too old for him, he loves pointing to the dragon and making the fiercest, most ferocious dragon roar you’ve ever heard. I crack up every time! You might recognize the name of the author… none other than MummyK – she’s a published author!
_ _ _

ABBA You Can Dance exclusively on Wii – RRP $70
Yes, you can dance. Frida and Agnetha told me so. I have been busting a move to 26 awesome ABBA tracks for a week now and I absolutely adore it! I get my love of the tunes of Benny and Bjorn from my mother – she saw them in concert in Perth in the early 70’s (there was a bomb threat so the whole audience had to go out on to the Entertainment Centre balconies… you know, because that’s totally safe when the place blows up!) and would play ‘Arrival’, on vinyl of course, all the time when I was younger. Yes, I’m an ABBA tragic and I’m proud.

I don’t have a USB microphone to test out the karaoke version but you can bet I’ve been singing along while I dance anyway! I’ve been using it as a work out video but I think it would be even better with a group of friends, daggy 70’s costumes and a few cocktails (had a dance off with RealJiveTurkey yesterday - it was amazing. I won).
_ _ _

Facebook Thongs – RRP $12.00
What do you do when you’re heading down to the beach and want to show the world you love Facebook but don’t want to get sand on your smartphone? You wear Facebook thongs of course! I purchased this fine example of fashion footwear while on holidays in Kota Kinabalu for the sole purpose of including them in this giveaway… see, I think of you all on holiday! Approximately a size 8, but that doesn’t really matter when they’re this cool .
_ _ _

Twitter Thongs – RRP $12.00
Because we all know Twitter is better. ‘Nough said.
_ _ _

Laptop Skin – RRP $20.00
Funk up your daggy laptop with this licorice allsort-esque skin. It’s 360mm x 265mm so will fit even the colossal wide screen laptops. It even includes arm rest skins for those who want to carry the candy colours through to the inside.
_ _ _

iPhone4 Cover – RRP $10.00
You can never have enough sparkles in your life. Ever. You need some on your iPhone too. Again, this is something I bought for the sole purpose of giving it away for this giant 30th birthday giveaway – I’ve been using a pink one from the same brand and I love it, but it is a generic case, so I obviously can’t guarantee the quality or fit (i.e. use at your own discretion!).
_ _ _

Boobie Prize - RRP $5
Because everyone loves boobies!!! I promise you it is completely crap!
_ _ _


So there you have it - it's a long list so thanks for reading all the way through! Don't forget to enter all you have to do is leave a comment then go forth and Tweet/Facebook about it and spread the birthday lovin'!



Entry is open to Australian residents only. Entries close at 10pm AEDST on 31st December 2011 at which time four winners will be chosen based on their entry quality and receive the four highest value prizes. The rest will be randomly assigned. Make sure you sign in to the comment platform with a valid email address/twitter handle or leave your details as part of your comment so you can be contacted. Winners have one week to reply to notification, failing that, the prize will be redrawn. Enter glowless@wheresmyglow.com in to your contacts to make sure it doesn't go through to spam!!

Friday, December 16, 2011

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Alphabet Edition

Aloha, Floggers!
Behold the latest
Coolest and
Definitely the most
Earth shattering
FlogYoBlog Friday!
Good to
Have you back
In my neck of the
Junlge (hey, go with it, OK?)
Kindly
Link up to
My little Flog and it will
No doubt bring you some comment love.
Or if you don't have a
Post to share,
Quickly go and write one so we can all
Read it!
So
Trust me and just paste your
URL where it says and
Voila, you're linked!
Well I'm off to play my
Xylophone and
Y'all can go catch some
Z's... after you Flog, of course!


How to FlogYoBlog
  1. Follow Where's My Glow?
  2. Bow down at the alter of Mummy Time; Blog-goddess, all round groovy gal and creator of FYBF
  3. Grab the FYBF button and post it on your sidebar or in the post you're linking up
  4. Link in your favourite/best post from the week (don't just put your homepage URL)
  5. Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger then be nice and spread the comment love



Thursday, December 15, 2011

Vloggy Love In

What happens when four bloggers all vlog about the same thing? They have a big vloggy love in. It's like an orgy of whinging awesomeness.



Wednesday, December 14, 2011

He Did What!? Wednesday - By The Modern Family

The Gift That Keeps On Giving - By The Modern Family

Let me start by saying my husband is the most unromantic person on earth. I say this as a matter of fact. It is not a challenge, I am not baiting you into a competition; it is a fact. Most. Unromantic. Man. Ever. I knew this when I married him, though, it’s not like he sprung it on me like a surprise. However, I am considering naming him Toolman on my blog, because he loves his shed and his tools, and sometimes he is a tool. Especially when it comes to Days That Are Important (To Women), specifically, my birthday. And my wedding anniversary.

I should have seen the warning signs, really. In our pre-married days, his mother told me the story of how he gave her “the best” Mother’s Day present ever (Toolman’s words). He gave her an extension cord. That’s right. An extension cord. I glared at Toolman, who defended himself by saying “it was a really long extension cord”. Whatever!

Fast forward to 2002, The Year of Disappointments. I thought perhaps Toolman would surprise me with something for our 10th wedding anniversary in February. Nope. I got “Oh, happy anniversary” as he picked up his lunch and scurried out the door to go to work. That’s it. Nothing for finishing my degree, nothing for being one of only seven successful candidates accepted into the postgraduate program. He forgot my birthday in November (he doesn’t do that anymore, because the kids remind him).

So, I think you get the picture. Most. Unromantic. Man. Ever. I was very surprised and secretly thrilled two years ago, then, when he announced, rubbing his hands together in glee, that he was buying me a “special” anniversary present. It wasn’t even a special year, it was our 18th – not significant in any way. And what could he be getting that was so special? I salivated over the possibilities for a week.

Finally the day dawned. Toolman virtually bounced out of bed, and delightedly announced he was going to get my present. I could barely contain myself. It was all I could do to stop myself flying out the back door when I heard him come home. Finally he beckoned me out to the garden, where he proudly presented me with… a worm farm. A FECKING WORM FARM!!!!!!!!! WTF???

For those of you paying attention, if February 2002 was my tenth wedding anniversary, February 2012 is my twentieth. Toolman is going to pay for twenty years of Gift Fail. Oh yes… he will pay….
___ . . . ___ . . . ___

Yes, He Did What!? Wednesday is upping the stakes and going smart party again with fabulous Dr Bron Harman from The Modern Family!

Dr Bron is a mum of three teens a psychology lecturer and researcher which makes her very busy and important. But she makes time for the important things in life like coffee, wine and sharing her many opinions on Twitter.

She is creator of the Blog-alogue; a list of fabulous Australian Mum and Dad bloggers. Dr Bron alluded to a nudie run if the list got to 200 but sadly, at it's close there was only 181 and we all missed out. Bugger.

She lives in Perth and I stalk her on Twitter but I still haven't met her yet. This makes me sad.

Next week: The final He Did What!? Wednesday!!!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

10 Reasons Why I I'm Not Your Facebook Friend

Facebook. Hrmmm. I have a love hate relationship with the 'book. I recently did a huge cull of "friends" and freely admit to be being too chicken to delete more.

For some of the defriends, these were my top ten reasons.

1. We went to school together and we weren't friends then, definitely aren't friends now, and are highly unlikely to actually be proper friends at any point in the future. It was nice to get on and have a look at how fat/skinny you are and how cute/fugly your children are, but it's time to put it behind us. However, if you transition to Twitter, let's be BFFs.

2. Every single update is emo and attention seeking. I get it, really I do. Sometimes you need to vent about how shit your life is. Heaven forbid that I, the ultra crazy gal, would deny anyone the right to talk about their mental health or lack there of. But if it's all you write, it's a bit of a downer. Get a therapist.

3. You bitch and moan about how little money you have thanks to your deadbeat ex who never pays child support and ask for people to lend you petrol money, then post pictures of your brand new Great Dane puppy from your brand new iPhone while you're getting a pedicure.

4. You mention, in detail, your child's toilet habits. I don't enjoy dealing with my own child's shit, why would I want to hear about yours' in all it's festery detail. The same goes for "Yay Ashlynella-Lou just did poo in the potty!". I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! If you put a photo up, Google God help you because I will hunt you down.

5. I don't actually know who you are. If you blog under a pseudonym and then add me under your real name I simply have no clue who the hell you are. Same goes for if we met at a party and spoke for all of five minutes. I don't add randoms - that is what Twitter is for.

6. You fill up my feed with your latest and greatest cold/flu/sinus infection/ear infection. Does the word hypochondria mean anything to you? No? Look it up, your photo is there. If you really are that sick then I suggest skipping the GP and heading straight to a major hospital because it's obvious you have some sort of diabolical immune disorder.

7. You send me requests for farm animals/plants/potions. It's bad enough that you fill up my feed with all this crap but you make it ten times worse when you send me a personal message asking for a freaking spanner to repair your coffee machine in a cafe game. The only fucking spanner I'm going to give you is one to shove up your arse. Go to a real cafe like a normal person.

8. You comment on every single one of my status updates and photos. The sanctity of Facebook revolves around how easy it is to stalk people - you're doing it wrong if you make it so bloody obvious. It is entirely too freaky if you comment multiple times on a single photo of my son. I know he's cute, I'm his mother. Plus I have an entire blog full of information, why stalk on Facebook when it's all right here?

9. You publicly chuck a hissy fit when someone deletes you, even though you weren't really friends to start with. Then you turn around and delete people a week later saying you simply don't want to share everything with everyone and would people please grow up, it's not the end of the world. HYPOCRITE!

10. You ask information you should be finding out through more appropriate means. Facebook is not for street directions, movie reviews, weather updates or the seeking of medical advice so stop requesting it. That is what Google, and to a lesser extent a doctor, is for. Every time you ask your "friends" if your symptoms require a trip to the hospital, a puppy dies. True story.

Why aren't you a Facebook friend?

Monday, December 12, 2011

Friday, December 9, 2011

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Trivia Edition

Hey hey, Flogsters!

I am going to embrace my inner nerd today and tell you about a secret fetish I have... Quiz Nights.

I love them so much I would go so far as to say I heart them.

I am very experienced when it comes to Quiz Nights and have even been on the winning team a few times. If I don't place, I get annoyed and wish I'd worn the tshirt I had when I was little that said "If I can't win, I don't want to play". Then I give evils to my team mates for not paying attention... at which point they ask how many real questions I got right and not just stupid stuff you learn in NW. But that's not the point.

For your enjoyment I've put together some of the answers to the most common Quiz Night questions that will guarantee* you a placing should you commit them to memory. You're welcome.
  1. The Sea of Tranquility is on the moon
  2. The science of kissing is called philematology (wish I'd known that at school, I could have said I was studying hehe)
  3. The highest number of surviving children from a single birth is eight - remember Octomom?
  4. If you're in a cold, dark house with one match and are shown a candle and stove and asked which do you light first, it's the match. 
  5. Aphrodite, the goddess of sexy time, emerged from the foaming semen of her father’s castrated testicles (most fucked up birth story ever)
  6. The most popular sport in the world is soccer
  7. The letter K is worth five points in scrabble
  8. Wile E. Coyote caught Road Runner only once, on the 21 May 1980
  9. Lake Baghdad is on Rottnest Island
  10. The best blogger is Glow... I almost had you there, didn't I?!
Now that you're all edjamacated, let's Flog, baby.

How to FlogYoBlog
  1. Follow Where's My Glow?
  2. Bow down at the alter of Mummy Time; Blog-goddess, all round groovy gal and creator of FYBF
  3. Grab the FYBF button and post it on your sidebar or in the post you're linking up
  4. Link in your favourite/best post from the week (don't just put your homepage URL)
  5. Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger then be nice and spread the comment love








get the InLinkz code
*Guarantee is worthless - it's having me on your team that ensures a win

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Run DMC Vs Tricky

Oh look, it's a three minute vlog where I say about half a dozen words... that should be, er, interesting.



Wednesday, December 7, 2011

He Did What!? Wednesday - By Me and Mia

How do you like them apples? - By Me and Mia

My hubby and I have recently taken to having our groceries delivered by Homeshop. At first I felt a little guilty, like I was being lazy or something, but after testing it out a few times I thought what the hell, anything that makes life a little easier for us is a winner in my book! I'm prepared to pay the $9 delivery fee to have someone else run around the store and collect my groceries for me, bag them and bring them straight to my door.

The other night it was time to make another grocery order, and Hubby said he would have a go at doing the online ordering. I had already made a handwritten grocery list anyway, so all he had to do was find the stuff on the website and add it to the basket, then order it. I was nearby while he tackled the task, and he had to ask me a few questions here and there about specific brands, measurements etc., but overall he completed the order with minimal fuss.

The order was delivered the following day, and we set about unpacking it. I undid one of the bags to find a 1kg bundle of Granny Smith apples inside, when I had written on the list that I only wanted 3 single apples.

"Uh, Hubby? Did you order a kilo of apples? I only wanted 3."

He looked at me, puzzled. "Mmm....no? I don't think so?"

I looked back in the bag.....to find two more 1kg bundles of apples.

"Um, did you order 3 lots of 1 kilos of apples, instead of just 3 single apples? There's 3kg of them in here."

"Oh.....I must have. I didn't see that I was ordering that much, I just saw "apples" and ordered 3."

I looked on the printed list that came with the grocery delivery. There is was - "Granny Smith apples 1 kg x 3 - $14.98".

"You didn't notice when it showed that the apples were costing $15?"

"Um, no."

So, after a lesson in checking the fine print, I am up to my elbows in apples and have so far made some apple puree for Mia to have with custard, and some lovely Apple & Caramel Scrolls. Anyone else got any great recipes including apples so I can somehow work my way through them all?!!
___ . . . ___ . . . ___

Janelle is the beauty and brains behind Me and Mia (she's the Me part) and it's her creative outlet.

She is married and has two fur babies and one real baby (Mia, obviously). She is a self-confessed history geek, bookworm and lover of writing - she even participated in NaNoWriMo last month!

She blogs about everything including parenthood, writing, adventures and if her tag cloud is to be believed, Harry Potter. Have a chat to her on Twitter here.


Next week: We get clinical with Dr Bron
Send your S/He Did What!? submission to Glowless@wheresmyglow.com

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Chunky Chocolate Ripple Cheesecake

I'm rather new to this whole baking thing so I, err, may or may not have screwed up a recipe for chocolate snowballs the other night.

Now there are a few things I'm basing this on:

1. The first lot of dough was white... I'd forgotten to put in cocoa. Then I realized I also had a cup of sugar sitting there waiting to go in too. Oops.

2. I put the oven on fan forced instead of normal. Double oops.

3. The snowballs didn't hold their shape ended up like snowflats and by the next morning they were too crunchy (but tasted awesome). Triple oops.

What do you do when you have a batch of snowballs cookies that are a akin to rock? Smash 'em up and make a cheesecake base! Huzzah! So, here's my fabulous recipe that I created, based on a plain cheesecake recipe (I am getting good at this making recipes up thing):

Chunky Chocolate Ripple Cheesecake 
Alternatively titled "Oh-crap-I-ruined-the-biscuits Cheesecake"

Ingredients:
  • A batch of failed snowballs or a packet of biscuits, whatever floats your boat, about 175g
  • 75g of butter
  • 85g of dark chocolate (I used Lindt because it was on special)
  • 250g of cream cheese
  • 250g of ricotta
  • 2/3 cup castor sugar
  • 250mL thickened cream
Method:   
Base:
  • Smash up 150g of your failed snowballs/biccies until they look like breadcrumbs 
  • Add melted butter and combine
  • Press in to a greased and lined 18cm pan, cover and chill it while you make the rest
Snowflat base
 Filling:
  • Melt your chocolate (microwave, double boiler, I'm not fussy) and allow to cool to room temperature
  • Beat cream cheese, ricotta and sugar using an electric mixer and make sure to sing Michael Jackson's 'Beat It' while you do - it makes it turn out better
  • Add the thickened cream and beat for five minutes
  • Smash up the remaining 25g of your snowflats so that they're chunky and carefully fold through
  • Pour the mixture in to the prepared base and smooth it out

    Cookie pieces mixed in
  • Drizzle most of the melted and cooled chocolate over the top and mix it around, being careful not to touch the bottom so you get a top layer of chocolate flavoured cheesecake (I think the soft centre of the Lindt chocolate really helped this part because it was really runny)
  • Once the top layer is chocolatey, drizzle a little bit more on and swirl it to create your ripple
  • Freeze for two hours

See those layers? And the cookie chunks? AWESOME! 

Serve it with berries if you want to be all arty-farty or just inhale it like I did.

*insert rapturous applause*

Whaddya reckon? Is there a food blogger in me?

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