Monday, April 30, 2012

I can now add public speaking to my resume... If I had a resume

This weekend, because I'm the shy and retiring type, I spoke on stage about the rise of the all powerful pros and cons of being a parent blogger at the Media 140 Digital Family Day with Catherine Archer from Curtin University and Lani from Missy Boo. Mum Bloggers represent!

I was nervous despite the fact that I spoke on stage at the Digital Parents Conference - a little bit during the day and then again during The Mother Tongue at dinner - but that was in front of a room full of people who already "knew me". And by that I mean they may have watched a vlog or two and known not to expect too much.
Clockwise from top left: My tweet on the giant screen, Tricky being chased by Boo,
MC Bonnie & Boo, Mrs Wonders & I, Boo getting catty

Instead, I was quietly crapping myself because this was in front of an audience who had no clue who I was, bar Map Guy and The Wonder Couple who came out to show their support and try their hand at toddler wrangling in the rain.

Oh I didn't mention the rain? Yes, the city that seems to be in constant drought with major water restrictions decided that the day of an outdoor event would be perfect timing for the heavens to open up and piss down on us while we were on stage holding microphones. Microphones connected to electricity.

Unfortunately, said rain also kept a lot of people away. Probably because everyone forgot how to drive as soon as the wet stuff started coming from the sky and went around yelling "the sky is falling, the sky is falling".
Clockwise from top left: Lani, myself and Catherine on stage, Boo being shy,
my speakers badge, Map Guy & Tricky on the beanbags

I have already forgotten what I said, other than when asked if Mum Bloggers were influential I said "Yeah, my husband buys what I tell him to" (oh hai head, meet desk, kthxbai) but apparently, according to my friends, I was charming and witty. And they would *ahem* never lie to me just to stroke my ego. I choose to remember it that way anyway, and ignore the fact that the freak storm coming in meant a few people left mid-talk and the head organizer had to stand behind the backdrop holding it up to ensure it wouldn't get blown on to us (thanks, Ande!).

The highlight of the day for me would have to be when an audience member, the gorgeous Tif, came up to Lani and I afterwards to thank us and have a chat about blogging and how some people just don't get why we put our lives out there online. Because that's what it's all about, meeting new people and having awesome conversations.

Why do you put your life online?

Saturday, April 28, 2012

The Weekend Whine - Episode One

Soooo this might fill the void that is FlogYoBlog Friday (now that it's moved on to Grace). But on a Saturday. And then again it might not. I haven't decided yet.


What have you whined about this week?

Friday, April 27, 2012

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Final Edition


  1. Follow Where's My Glow? for the last time with Glow
  2. Bow down at the alter of Mummy Time; Blog-goddess, all round groovy gal and creator of FYBF for the last time with Glow
  3. Grab the FYBF button and post it on your sidebar or in the post you're linking up for the last time with Glow
  4. Link in your favourite/best post from the week (don't just put your homepage URL) for the last time with Glow
  5. Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger then be nice and spread the comment love for the last time with Glow

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

ANZAC & PTSD: Acronyms that go together in my world

There are some things I don't handle very well. ANZAC Day is one of them. I've been in a pretty bad place lately (hence the rather quiet blog), and having this day fall right when I'm at a low point is doing my head in. It's panic attack central here and I've spent five hours in bed today trying to avoid the world. It didn't really work, when I got up the world was right there waiting for me. Bastard.

The internet, television and newspapers are full of stories today - of the men and women who fought for our country, of those that never came back, and those that waited at home for them, thinking every time the phone rang it was going to be that call.

What you don't hear too much of, is the stories of after the war. What happens to those highly trained soldiers who have seen battle when they come back home and try to fit in to a society that doesn't always understand them? What happens to their family? Their kids?

For me, ANZAC Day is a giant flag, waved in front of my face to mock me, to remind me how fucked up the children of soldiers can be, how hard life as the daughter of a soldier who served in the Vietnam War was and still is.

I'm not trying to over generalize, but it's a widely known fact that a lot of soldiers tend to come home rather damaged. Really, how could you not? Fighting on the front lines, seeing limbs blown off, holding your friend as he takes his last breath. That damages. Right to the core. Often beyond repair.

I was part of a counseling group specifically for children of Vietnam Veterans a few years back and even though we were from such varied backgrounds; different socioeconomic groups, different religions, different ages... we all had identical stories.

From the shoes so highly polished you could see your reflection in them to the nightmares and the trauma.

From the school shirts ironed to within an inch of their life to the constant yelling, violence and alcoholism.

From the regimented schedule to the constant walking on eggshells, unsure of what was going to happen next.

Growing up like that? That damages. Right to the core. Often beyond repair

We were all the same. We were all living in dysfunctional households and we were all fucked up because of it, having all been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from living under such conditions for so long.

You can leave certain things behind when you leave your parents' house; dolls, posters of teenage crushes, school reports and the like. You can't leave your PTSD behind though. That shit comes with you everywhere.

So here I sit, many years later, with PTSD still slumping my shoulders and dictating my daily life, watching the footage of our war heroes. I thank them for their service, for all they did... and then I cry for their kids... and, I'm loath to admit, I cry a little bit for myself, too.

Do you wish you could leave behind something when you left home?

I feel I should add that in the last few years my Dad, who was spat at on his return from the Vietnam War, where he fought on behalf of all of us in a war nobody supported, has healed immensely and we now, thankfully, have a very good relationship. However, it doesn't detract from the fact that for the first 28 years of my life I lived in constant fear of him. I love him, more than words can say. He is, by far, Tricky's favourite person and I firmly believe kids have excellent judgement.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Do not assume

Do not assume that because I am an atheist that I have no morals or faith.

Do not assume that because I dislike confrontation that I will not stick up for myself.

Do not assume that because I am smiling that I am happy.

Do not assume that because I share a lot through social media that I have no secrets.

Do not assume that because I am broken that I will let you treat me like a door mat.

Do not assume that because I am a mother that I have no interest in anything other than child rearing.

Do not assume that because I wear makeup that I am vain.

Do not assume that because I am a SAHM that I spend all day colouring in and going out for coffee.

Do not assume that because I am pro-breastfeeding that I am anti-formula.

Do not assume that because I have lots of friends that I'm not lonely.

Do not assume that because I am outgoing that I am not insanely anxious.

What do people assume about you?

Saturday, April 21, 2012

I live in my house therefore it looks shit

I hate mess. It makes me anxious. I freak out when people are coming over and go on a massive cleaning spree (previously mentioned as Operation Furiously Unclutter and Clean the Kitchen - aka Operation F.U.C.K.) in the hopes that my visitors will not see the bomb site I reside in.

After having Tricky I've actually kept the house a lot tidier than I did before, for the sole reason that little hands get in to a lot of things they shouldn't if I leave them lying around. But my house is still not ever going to be featured in a magazine because it's actually lived in.

So, inspired by Marita from Stuff With Thing who issued a challenge today to show you her house how it really is (#thisisourhome) I've vlogged my house for you exactly as it is.

I'm home alone for most of the day... I was tempted to do some cleaning but then I saw Zoey's vlog from January and decided against it. Instead I'll be updating my media kit, doing some vlogs and eating the chocolate slice featured in the vlog.

What does your house look like?

Friday, April 20, 2012

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Penultimate Edition

See that title?

Penultimate. Pi-nuhl-tuh-mit [adjective] -  the next to last.

My second last FlogYoBlog Friday. Ever.

I'd love for you to join me for my final one next week, which of course, will take the form of an embarrassing farewell vlog complete with bad singing, terrible acting and the all important details of the Flog's next guardian.

So start thinking of farewell messages, but for now, as always, let's Flog, baby!

How to FlogYoBlog
  1. Follow Where's My Glow?
  2. Bow down at the alter of Mummy Time; Blog-goddess, all round groovy gal and creator of FYBF
  3. Grab the FYBF button and post it on your sidebar or in the post you're linking up
  4. Link in your favourite/best post from the week (don't just put your homepage URL)
  5. Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger then be nice and spread the comment love

get the InLinkz code

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The Parent Manifesto - Q&A with Jodie Benveniste

You know what's good about being in the virtual world? Well you can do virtually anything (boom tish). Like go on a book tour without ever leaving the comfort of your own house, or even getting out of your jim jams.

When I first met Jodie from Parent Wellbeing, she had just been interviewed on television (not in her jarmies, don't worry) and I remember thinking that was pretty cool. Then after a few minutes of chatting and the obligatory blog stalking that followed, I thought she was pretty cool - because her site, and her new book, don't come across as preachy "this is how you have to do it" parenting. Rather, it's a "trust yourself and make your own rules" style. LOVE THAT.

I was lucky enough to receive a copy of Jodie's new Parenting Manifesto and have her answer my not-so-professional questions as part of the bloggy book tour.

1. Throughout the book there are a number of exercises to complete... You've given me homework? I did do it but, um, err, the dog ate it... Am I in trouble?

No you’re not in trouble! It’s completely up to you which exercises you complete, or whether you do any at all. But I have found that people who go through the entire process end up with better outcomes. It’s not homework as such, it’s more a process to help you decide what you want for your family, and a way to try and achieve that. It takes a little bit of effort and commitment but the results can be amazing – so well worth it!

2. I don't have a family pin board (whatever that is), and my fridge is full of fuel vouchers & bills that are due... Is it OK if I stick my manifesto in the toilet? I mean, I'll see it there...

You can stick your manifesto wherever you like! Your manifesto is essentially a set of statements you’d like to live by as a parent and as a family. It’s important to keep them front of mind, which is why many people stick them on their fridge. But sticking them in the toilet is a great idea!

3. I love that the book comes in PDF so I can show off on the train with my iPad. Do you think technology has affected the way we parent as much as it's affected the way we read books?

I reckon parents are feeling more isolated these days. One of the great things about technology is that it can bring people closer together. You might not find like-minded parents in your local mums group but you might find them online instead. The online community that built up around The Parent Manifesto when we ran the first 12 week program was phenomenal. Very supportive and reassuring. No flaming or grandstanding at all! Plus, I reckon technology allows us to deliver parenting info in new ways. Instead of having to book a babysitter and attend a parenting workshop, you can access everything online in your own time and from home. Much easier for busy parents.

4. In one of the parent to parent sections a mum comments how her daughters are so different and if she could combine them she'd have a super child. Aunty Penny and I always say we're two halves of the perfect person. Oh, sorry, this isn't a question, I was just sharing.

Thanks for sharing!

5. Coming from a rather dysfunctional family, a lot of the exercises made me really think (until my brain hurt) about how I can overcome my past to ensure a bright future for Tricky. Do you think the manifesto would be a good tool for someone like me who is paranoid about history repeating (and I’m not talking about the Shirley Bassey song)?

One of the main reasons history repeats itself (in a parenting rather than a Shirley Bassey way) is through lack of self-awareness. We don’t even realise what we’re doing until it is too late. Your manifesto helps you to be more self-aware and more intentional as a parent. That can only help. The other thing that helps is focusing on creating a positive future for your kids rather than trying to stop the negatives from happening. You can be the parent you want to be by creating new patterns rather than repeating old ones.

6. There are a lot of pages and only 2 or 3 pictures... What's with that? If you like I can draw some for you? I’m pretty good at Draw Something, what do you reckon?

The book does have some diagrams and break out boxes and key points, but not lots of pictures, no. Sorry! But please, draw away! Perhaps we could put all call out for parents to contribute their manifesto drawings and put them on Pinterest!

7. The 10 steps of parenting on page 110 mention religious participation. When I read it I thought I might be struck by lightning but luckily I was inside. What about the heathens like me?

Those 10 competencies are a guide. Religion comes down at number 9. I’m a heathen too and I’m not concerned by this at all. The main point I wanted to illustrate with the parenting competencies is that if you want good outcomes for your kids, it’s much more important to be loving, manage your own stress and foster a good relationship with your partner (if you have one), than worry about which behaviour strategy you’re using with your kids. Religious participation is clearly optional!

8. If there is one thing you want parents to take away from this book, what would it be?

You are your own expert. You can raise your kids with confidence, not worry about what everyone else is doing, and enjoy the best of family life if you take responsibility and make it happen. It’s something everyone can achieve.

Thanks so much for allowing m to be a part of your blog!

So I'm the expert, history doesn't have to repeat, I don't have to be religious and I can draw the pictures? WINNING!

If you want to do some winning yourself then you can by entering to win a spot in Jodie’s next 12 week online program that will help you to create your ideal family life. The Parent Manifesto program includes:

1. The Parent Manifesto book or e-book that helps you develop your own plan for how you want to raise your kids and create a better family life
2. Website membership with access to extra online resources, tools and information to help you through the program, including ways to stick to your plan even when you’re having ‘bad’ days.
3. Regular support and encouragement throughout the 12 weeks from me and other supportive, like-minded parents in the program. We’re a community, and we’ll do it together!

Valued at $97. More info here.

To enter, leave a comment telling me what piece of "expert advice" you've been given about parenting that has made you roll your eyes. For an extra entry share this competition on Facebook tagging Where's My Glow? and/or Twitter tagging Glowless.

Entry is open to everyone. Entries close at 10pm AEDST on 25th April 2012 at which time four winners will be chosen based on creativity. Make sure you sign in to the comment platform with a valid email address/twitter handle or leave your details as part of your comment so you can be contacted. Winners have one week to reply to notification, failing that, the prize will be redrawn. Enter in to your contacts to make sure it doesn't go through to spam!! The prize is provided by Parent Wellbeing and is not transferable or redeemable.

Friday, April 13, 2012

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Really Really Scary Edition

It's Friday the 13th again, Floggers! The calendar really doesn't want me to be creative with this week's theme, does it?

After a rather shitty week of being sick, then Map Guy getting Man Flu and then Tricky getting sick I've been thinking that there is only one thing that could scare me tonight and it's not witches, or ghosts or black cats or anything else that I'm meant to think about on Friday the 13th.

The ONE thing that could scare me tonight is... AN EMPTY WINE GLASS.

So let's fill our glasses, and have a Flog.

How to FlogYoBlog
  1. Follow Where's My Glow?
  2. Bow down at the alter of Mummy Time; Blog-goddess, all round groovy gal and creator of FYBF
  3. Grab the FYBF button and post it on your sidebar or in the post you're linking up
  4. Link in your favourite/best post from the week (don't just put your homepage URL)
  5. Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger then be nice and spread the comment love

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

How to handle a toddler tantrum - a pictorial tutorial

Some days, I stand with my chest puffed out and survey my surroundings thinking maaan I'm good at this parenting gig and that I deserve a freakin medal. Actually scratch that, I don't want a medal, I'll just have a sleep in.

And other days, I stand with my shoulders slumped and peer out from behind my hair thinking maaan I suck at this parenting thing. I get angry and frustrated at all the goddamn crumbs on the floor, I spend too much time telling Tricky "just one more minute" when I'm tweeting working and not doing housework. Dishes go undone and the piles of clean washing on my floordrobe are getting so high that I've started telling visitors it's actually a work of modern art meant to make a statement about consumerism. Strangely, no one believes me.

But I digress.

It is always on these days that Tricky throws a tantrum. Something about him picking up my anxious vibes, I'm told. I think it's that and a little helping of Murphy's law. Murphy is a fuckwit. If I ever meet him I'm going to knee him in the nuts. 

So, since I'm obviously mediocre at this parenting caper I thought I'd selflessly share what I've learned about toddler tantrums and how to de-stress after them, in picture form. You're welcome.

Sometimes your child will crack the shits for no good reason:

They may give you attitude when you serve them nutritious, organic food that you've made from scratch:

Or maybe they've decided to not eat your food at all and just pull faces at you:

They'll throw themselves on the floor, kicking and screaming so loud that people in neighbouring suburbs will wander outside expecting to find a cat being strangled on their doorstep. A toddler's ear piercing screams carry. Very well.

In all of these cases, you may very well become ultra stabby and look like this:

Because that mongrel Murphy is still around you will see someone you know as you give your tantruming devil-spawn the evil eye and threaten them with no food/toy/TV if they don't stop being silly and quit embarrassing you (because it's ALL about YOU). Now if parenting forums are anything to go by, all mothers are complete bitches who talk behind their friends' backs so this little tid bit of information will go around, probably on Facebook, until the whole world knows YOU ARE A BAD MOTHER WHO CAN'T CONTROL HER FERAL CHILD.

So in order to avoid (another) complete mental breakdown, now that the world's been told you're not SuperMum, the best way to chill out is to ensure you have a few key tools on hand at all times.

Alcohol. This is for you, not the child. I would consider giving it to the child like they used to do, but that would mean less for me and I do not share my wine. I recommend a hip flask so you can have some on hand at all times.

A bath tub to soak in, with optional candles and smelly, bubbly stuff too. Hard to carry around in your pocket, I know, but I've found those clam shell sand/water pits work almost as well. Pour in some bubbly stuff then simply drop your toddler in while they're tantruming and they will thrash around so much and agitate the water enough to foam up the bath. When the desired amount of bubbles are reached, handball the child to the nearest grandparent and jump in.

If all else fails or there is a distinct lack of alcohol and bubble baths, grab a dummy and sulk on Twitter where everyone else will tell you their parenting fails so you don't feel so bad.

Now that you're sufficiently whingey, pruney and tipsy, go to bed. Remember that tomorrow, when you wake up, it's a whole new day and it might just be fabulous.

How do you de-stress after a toddler tantrum?

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

How Not To Ruin Your Marriage: Lesson One

Welcome to the first in an ongoing series of How Not To Ruin Your Marriage posts, complete with button. Yay for buttons!

Being married for all of four years of course makes me an expert in such matters, just as being a mother for a millisecond means I can give advice for all sorts of parenting dilemmas, and a ten day trip to Thailand means I'm qualified to preach Buddhism.

In today's lesson we're going to learn how not to speak to your wife when it comes to weight and shape, with an example from the delicious yet at times dickheaded, Map Guy, plucked straight out of our Easter weekend.

Read. Cringe. Enjoy. Laugh. But most of all, share this with your husbands and partners so that they may learn.
___ . . . ___ . . . ___

Me: I'm always going to have a bit of a pot belly, I've had a baby, half of it's stretched skin

Map Guy: Yeah, just look at Miranda Kerr and Heidi Klum's pot bellies... oh wait.


Map Guy: What I meant was...


Map Guy: They're obviously genetic freaks...

Me: Lemme get you a shovel so you can dig that hole a little deeper

Map Guy: Um.... I love you?

Me: Fuck off and die

What would you have done? Grounds for justifiable homicide?

If you'd like your idiocy to be included in a How Not To Ruin Your Marriage lesson email Where's My Glow doesn't discriminate between idiots, so you don't have to actually be married or even straight to submit.

Friday, April 6, 2012

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Zombie Jesus Edition

Once again, Zombie Jesus Day is upon us! Hooray! There's nothing like running from the undead to work up an appetite for chocolate bunnies and eggs.

It is time to inhale chocolately goodness in all it's forms then complain you've had too much. It's tradition, you see.

I will be spending this weekend pulling weeds and planting a veggie garden in the hopes that it makes me feel less guilty about all the Hot Cross Buns I will have eaten. Actually, I'm likely to sit in the backyard with my iPad, tweeting that Map Guy and Tricky are doing all the work. Good enough, right?

So start hoeing in to the chocolate, but before you do, take time to Flog it, baby!

get the InLinkz code

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Kidspot Ford Territory Top 50: Feel the difference

Last year I watched the Kidspot Top 50 Bloggers competition unfold and I remember thinking "next year, if I work really hard, I'll be on that list". And here we are, twelve months later, and there is a new Top 50... and I'm on it. Squeeee!

I'm so excited to be part of it... have you seen who is on it? It's the who's who. It makes me totally cool by association, yes?! This year the top 5 will be chosen by a combination of a panel of judges and a vote - this is where you come in. You can vote for your favourite bloggers here *coughpickmecough* or by clicking on the button below, and you can go in to the running to win $5000 - yep, just for clicking a button. Pretty cruisy.
___ . . . ___ . . . ___

I could say that my journey in to blogging is unremarkable. I am just another stay at home mama who, on feeling an acute sense of looming isolation and sleep deprivation, decided to write down how I was feeling both for posterity and as a cheap form of therapy. Just another brick in the mummy blogging wall (apologies Pink Floyd, I couldn’t help myself).

But my journey really in blogging and through it? Well that’s a different kettle of fish… or bricks… whatever.

I started this blog anonymously. I was Glowless – the funny girl who was up the duff, lacking in pregnancy glow, always finding something to laugh about (or at least roll my eyes at) and striving to find a silver lining in everything. Nothing too deep, nothing that really scratched the surface, nothing that could make any waves. Because waves rock the SS Status Quo. I couldn’t do that lest I be forced to provide life jackets with a whistle and a light to attract attention.

Then, when Tricky was diagnosed with Craniosynostosis at eleven weeks old, this blog became a place where I put my real fears as we went from doctor to specialist to surgeon to operating theatre. It was the first time I dared to put part of the real me out there for everyone to see without sugar coating it or dressing it up with a humourous slant. Because trying to find a gag when your baby's skull is being cracked open is kinda hard.

Upon finding that what few readers I had didn’t run for the hills when the laughs dried up for a while, I decided to embrace the opportunity and blog real. Life isn’t always shits and giggles, and sometimes it’s bloody hard to find the silver lining. In fact, any silver looks like just another miserably dull shade of grey when you’re peering through tear soaked eyelashes and strapping your infant in to a giant MRI scanner.

After this mild and somewhat censored dabbling in reality I decided to push further and, when the mood took me, I wrote about my struggles with mental illness, with insecurity and self esteem interspersed with my 'usual' tongue-in-cheek style… but I was still wrapped up in my cocoon of anonymity. I was safe in there where few people knew my true identity. I had the freedom to say “I’m a little bit crazy” because it couldn’t be (easily) traced back to me – it’s amazing how brave you can be behind a cloak of anonymity and a computer screen. A keyboard warrior standing up and speaking out for all the right things but only when no one was looking.

It has only been a year since I “came out” and revealed who I was by name and picture. You’d never believe, based on how much of a camera whore I am now, that for the twelve months prior not a single photo of me was published on here. But what I thought would be freeing had the opposite effect at first – I froze and those same anxieties came rushing to the surface. Would people like me? How much should I say? Where is the line between censoring and not oversharing? The unmasked me felt vulnerable, exposed and raw, not unlike the feeling you get when standing starkers surrounded by sideshow mirrors and horrid lighting in a change room.

I was so afraid that on seeing the real me, a real person and not just a pseudonym, people would run, or, as the case is in the land of the interwebz, click away. But they didn’t… they stayed, and, much to my surprise, more came. This community of readers and fellow bloggers have become my tribe; they have buoyed me when I was down, rallied around me when I was grieving, cheered me when I was doing well, and, most of all, laughed with me (OK, sometimes at me) when I was at my sarcastic best.

There is nothing more affirming than people not running a mile when you show the real you – life could have taught me that, eventually, I’m sure, but blogging to thousands of people has fast tracked it (and saved me a ton of money in therapy fees).

This blogging journey has brought me to this one conclusion: The good parts, the funny parts, the smart parts, the stupid parts, the broken parts, the kind parts, the swearing parts, the emo parts, the angry parts, the ranty parts and the parts that laugh too loud are all parts of me. And that’s OK. It’s OK to be me.

And I suppose that’s what sets me apart, that this journey of self acceptance has been on here, for all to see, thinly veiled as a mummy blog. Now I feel as comfortable in each of these personas as the next and you never know what one you’ll find here because not even I know which part of me will have the insatiable urge to write from one day to the next. Whichever it is... it’s still me.

If you were starting your first blog today, would you be anonymous or not? Why? *coughvoteformecough*

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

I don't get out of bed for less than a PR trip to Sydney

With all the talk about "Hi Blogger" and "I love your blog" PR pitches, you'd be forgiven for thinking that there isn't a single company that gets how Blogger engagement should work. But, there is.

Now I'm not suggesting every company should fly me to Sydney for their launches... oh hang on... yes I am. The standard has been set!

My whirlwind Norton One trip, in ADST just to confuse myself and my fellow Sandgropers:

2:00am - Took off from Perth airport

6:00am - Arrived at Sydney airport with a lot more baggage than I took off with, firmly packed below my eyes
7:00am - Attacked by a rogue seagull who was after my hashbrown. Fought him off with wild arm flailing and many F-bombs, much to the amusement of passing business people

7:30am - Met Carly of We Heart Life for breakfast! Pancakes on the Rocks at Darling Harbour FTW!

9:00am - Headed towards Circular Quay thanks to my iPhone and silently offered up a prayer to Steve Jobs as the little blue orb plodded along telling me I was going in the right direction

10:00am - Took obligatory touristy photos. Opera House? Check. Harbour Bridge? Check. Considered sending a postcard home to Tricky but instead spent my money on a much needed Red Bull

11:00am - Met up with the divine Mama Grace for chai lattes or whatever it is Sydney people drink, and pretty awesome shits and giggles

11:30am - Meet up with Brenda and have a mini freak out that DPCON12 is upon us!

12:00pm - Head to Cafe Sydney with Grace, Brenda and Cassie then had to pick my jaw up off the floor after seeing the view. Decide to keep my sunglasses on to appear more like a rockstar... it fails and I just look like an idiot so I take them off

12:30pm - Sucked in as much knowledge as I could about protecting my little family from Cyber Crime from the amazing Norton team while sipping wine and eating the most delicious food I've ever had. Stare in awe at these guys who aren't doing the hard sell, aren't fearmongering, and aren't talking "at" me. These guys get it, and they do it so well. Amazing conversation with bloggers from small blogs, big blogs, funny blogs, personal blogs, you name it. Hats off to you, Norton.

2:00pm - Learned about the soon to be released Norton One system that will protect all your equipment from spyware, malware, trojan attacks, hacked websites and more, plus backup safety. Chuck on your iPhone, your Android devices, your PC and your Mac... all on the one membership (when I told Map Guy he almost wet himself with excitement - he's such a geek)

3:00pm - Headed off with Zoey to Max Brenner and got 'stood up' by Lizosaurus who fell asleep and Rah who got held up at work. Sulked off without tasting any of the famed chocolate. Geeez people how often am I in Sydney? Set a fucking alarm!!! Still love you, it's OK.

4:00pm - Went back to annoy Grace and Brenda, who on hearing my Max Brenner tale of woe determined to take me back and fulfill my chocolately wishes... after stealing power from the library to charge our phones and taking pictures of a random man dressed in bow ties sleeping on the couch

6:00pm - Jumped in a taxi and headed back to the airport and made a bee line for Krispy Kreme like all deprived WA people do.

8:00pm - Waved goodbye to Sydney

1:00 am - Arrived back in Perth exhausted, aching but exhilarated.

All up, I was away for 23 hours and spent only 14 of those on the ground. That's not just whirlwind, that's freakin' rockstar, baby!

The fabulous people at Norton have given me two Norton 360 (version 6 packs) valued at $130 each, to give away that will give you one year of protection for up to three PCs. To enter, all you have to do is leave a comment below telling me what you think the biggest threat to your personal information is. Are you afraid of hackers, identity theft, losing all your photos? Tell Aunty Glow and she'll make it all better... well Norton will, but I'll totally take credit for it.

Grab an extra entry or two by mentioning the competition on Facebook and Twitter by tagging me!

Massive thanks to Digital Parents for inviting me, I had a fabulous time! Perth people never get invited anywhere so I truly appreciate all the effort that went in to getting me there.

Entry is open to everyone. Entries close at 10pm AEDST on 13th April 2012 at which time four winners will be chosen based on creativity. Make sure you sign in to the comment platform with a valid email address/twitter handle or leave your details as part of your comment so you can be contacted. Winners have one week to reply to notification, failing that, the prize will be redrawn. Enter in to your contacts to make sure it doesn't go through to spam!! The prize is provided by Norton and is not transferable or redeemable.

Monday, April 2, 2012

You know you're getting old when...

I hit the big 3-0 recently. Well sorta recently. OK, OK, it was last year. But it was late last year so it's still possible for me to say recently (shuddup).

By my standards, I'm not old. By a sixteen year old's I'm probably ancient. I have all the signs of ageing maturity on my face now; wrinkles, pigmentation, and a scowl that says "Don't fuck with me, I've worked too hard to get here to deal with your shit".

So how do you know you're getting old? Well...
  1. You stop being referred to as 'the girl' and start being called 'the lady' as in "Watch out for the lady" and "Give the money to the lady". I ain't no lady
  2. You squeeze your pelvic floor muscles in preparation for a sneeze... you know, just in case
  3. You start appreciating the value of money and go from "these shoes are a whole week's rent, aren't they faaaaabulous?!" to "I got this top on sale!"
  4. You think a night in with a bottle of wine and some cheese is much more fun than a night out at a pub
  5. You find drinking a cup of tea/coffee/hot chocolate, in a really nice cup, a fantastic way to unwind
  6. Your once proportional body disappears and fat starts lingering around your mid section changing your muffin-top to a whole-fucking-bakery-top
  7. You pack away your g-strings and replace them with industrial strength iron underwear to suck you in
  8. You tune in religiously to Grand Designs and swoon over Kevin McCloud. Mmmmm Kevin
  9. You turn on the radio and think "What the hell is this rubbish?" and immediately put on a CD
  10. You suddenly find it overwhelming to adjust to new technology and changes, requiring the instruction of a primary school student to figure out how to work the media centre
Can you relate? How do you know you're getting old?

Sunday, April 1, 2012

DPCON12 in (rambling) words and (bad) pictures

I am utterly exhausted. Four events in four days is a busy schedule for anyone, throw in an impromptu guided walking tour of the best coffee and vodka bars in Chapel Street, a hell of a lot of wine and a three hour time difference and it leads to one very tired, very emotional Glow. And by that I do, obviously, mean terribly hungover.

I have enjoyed every minute; I loved the planning, the panels, the expo hall, the My Blog, My Story speakers, the prizes (yes, particularly the one I demanded from Woogsworld and Magneto Bold Too as penance), the last minute 'faaaaaaark this is really happening' feelings, the Mother Tongue speakers, the dancing... but most of all I loved meeting so many new people and adored catching up with my friends in the flesh and giving them squeezes, kisses and adoring looks when they weren't paying attention.

I am about to crash the way all good emotionally unstable people do after being part of such a massive event. I need a bex and a lie down, or, quite possibly, a straightjacket. I hope I can get it in black because white really isn't my colour, or lack of colour, or whatever. It's been bloody brilliant and I've been honored to be part of an amazing team of hard working women that made it happen.

P.S. The post I read during The Mother Tongue is here

P.P.S. If you have a photo of your Glow Job stamp send it to me!!!

P.P.P.S. Totally copied Magneto Bold Too with the


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...