Let me start by saying my husband is the most unromantic person on earth. I say this as a matter of fact. It is not a challenge, I am not baiting you into a competition; it is a fact. Most. Unromantic. Man. Ever. I knew this when I married him, though, it’s not like he sprung it on me like a surprise. However, I am considering naming him Toolman on my blog, because he loves his shed and his tools, and sometimes he is a tool. Especially when it comes to Days That Are Important (To Women), specifically, my birthday. And my wedding anniversary.
I should have seen the warning signs, really. In our pre-married days, his mother told me the story of how he gave her “the best” Mother’s Day present ever (Toolman’s words). He gave her an extension cord. That’s right. An extension cord. I glared at Toolman, who defended himself by saying “it was a really long extension cord”. Whatever!
Fast forward to 2002, The Year of Disappointments. I thought perhaps Toolman would surprise me with something for our 10th wedding anniversary in February. Nope. I got “Oh, happy anniversary” as he picked up his lunch and scurried out the door to go to work. That’s it. Nothing for finishing my degree, nothing for being one of only seven successful candidates accepted into the postgraduate program. He forgot my birthday in November (he doesn’t do that anymore, because the kids remind him).
So, I think you get the picture. Most. Unromantic. Man. Ever. I was very surprised and secretly thrilled two years ago, then, when he announced, rubbing his hands together in glee, that he was buying me a “special” anniversary present. It wasn’t even a special year, it was our 18th – not significant in any way. And what could he be getting that was so special? I salivated over the possibilities for a week.
Finally the day dawned. Toolman virtually bounced out of bed, and delightedly announced he was going to get my present. I could barely contain myself. It was all I could do to stop myself flying out the back door when I heard him come home. Finally he beckoned me out to the garden, where he proudly presented me with… a worm farm. A FECKING WORM FARM!!!!!!!!! WTF???
For those of you paying attention, if February 2002 was my tenth wedding anniversary, February 2012 is my twentieth. Toolman is going to pay for twenty years of Gift Fail. Oh yes… he will pay….
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The Modern Family!
Dr Bron is a mum of three teens a psychology lecturer and researcher which makes her very busy and important. But she makes time for the important things in life like coffee, wine and sharing her many opinions on Twitter.
She is creator of the Blog-alogue; a list of fabulous Australian Mum and Dad bloggers. Dr Bron alluded to a nudie run if the list got to 200 but sadly, at it's close there was only 181 and we all missed out. Bugger.
She lives in Perth and I stalk her on Twitter but I still haven't met her yet. This makes me sad.
Next week: The final He Did What!? Wednesday!!!