Friday, October 28, 2011

I Don't Heart My Body... So I Posed Naked On The Internet

Last year when the I {heart} My Body campaign was run by We {Heart} Life I put up a pregnant belly shot. I had a new found sense of love and respect for my body after it had grown Tricky, managed to birth him and was continuing to nourish him.

When considering linking up this year I starting freaking out. I felt ashamed of my body and wanted to run away and hide. Lots of old feelings came flooding back from when I was a lot heavier, followed by memories of when I was a lot lighter. The anxiety was suffocating. It's hard to love your body when it doesn't work, when it always hurts and lets you down.

I wonder what it would take for so many years of body issues and eating problems to be left behind? Weight loss? More therapy? A health scare perhaps? I need something to shock me in to taking it seriously, to stop cramming junk in to my mouth in an effort to squash down the anxiety and the only thing I can think of that I can do right at this moment is to pose naked on the internet.

So I did. 

With a strategically placed breastfeeding toddler.

Naked... on the internet... forever

I love my breasts. They are still nourishing and comforting Tricky as we near the 18 month mark. They are a lot closer to the ground and even more pendulous than ever as a 14 F (F for Faaaaar Out They're Huuuuge!). They most definitely fail the pencil test... hell, they'd fail the pencil case test... but they are amazing.
My little Koala holding on

I love my lips. They are big, pouty and good for kissing. Some people think they've been enhanced but it's actually scar tissue from splitting my lip open as six year old. Sometimes falling on your face can be good for you, you know?
Killer curves

I love my hair. I'm not sure if that counts as body but I'm going to go with it. It does what I want it to do most of the time and tends to look nice no matter what colour it is. It's incredibly thick to the point where hairdressers charge me extra because they have to use so much more product and blowdrying it takes forever.

So there it is. There I am. In all my naked Glowy glory. I'm half shit scared and half empowered... oh man what have I done?

Would you pose naked on the internet?
Photobucket 

EDIT: There has been such wonderful feedback from this post and only one negative commenter via Facebook. So I feel the need to add that I didn't do this so men (or women) would leave me comments saying I'm hot... in fact the possibility that some immature person would happen upon this from a search and leave a snarky comment filled me with trepidation (it's happened on my youtube page before so I know it could happen here) and I considered turning comments off . I did this to embrace my body for what it is and to come to the realization that MY BODY IS AMAZING. Look at all it has done and continues to do. It may be broken, but the whole is greater than the sum of it's parts. I AM BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Embrace it. Learn to love it, learn to heart it... just like I am.

EDIT2.0: Thank you to all the people who have supported me on the Mum's Lounge Facebook page where the original negative comments were posted. In particular Jolene from Mum's Lounge who promoted the post in the first place and was very quick to defend both the I Heart My Body movement and my participation in it. I am, as always, amazed at the support this online community shows its members.

124 comments:

  1. Girl you are AH-MAH-ZING!

    I would never pose nude nude on the internet. Last year I had my boobs exposed but this year I have completely covered up.

    Great post!

    Thank you so much for sharing. Very inspiring and just plain WOW!

    It seems that A LOT of our blogging community have huge boobs!

    Carly

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  2. OMG you are a freakin GODDESS! And you're my new hero - fabulous!

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  3. WOW, just WOW, go you.

    you look AMAZING, you should be so proud of these shots. you are beautiful in looks and personality, these shots just confirm it.

    Mapguy is one lucky dude :-)

    and i have to admit, i've always been a tad envious of your hair, it always looks so healthy and shiny.

    oh and shelve the shit scared, you should be totally empowered by this post!

    ~x~

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  4. I've been debating that question all day but after seeing how beautiful you look, you know, I just might!

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  5. glow you look absolutely gorgeous!! I wish I had your body!

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  6. Thanks so much, Carly, and thanks for hosting the event again - it is such a brilliant idea. And yes a lot of us do have massive boobs!

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  7. Thank you lovely, your comments always make me feel happy xxx

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  8. I went from not wanting to post anything to wanting to post naked pictures. I'd love it if you did, so I wouldn't be the only one!!

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  9. Thanks Bec... just take a photo in black and white and voila, everyone looks gorgeous!

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  10. Does this mean I get a cape? Oh wait, that's a super hero. Thanks, Kel :)

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  11. Love the raw and simple photos. Beautiful shots of u breastfeeding Tricky. Thanks for sharing! you have shown the epitome of beauty from a mother's body :)

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

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  12. You always look gorgeous to me. These photos are stunning. I love the naturalness. I'm a sucker for a breastfeeding toddler, love the foot up. Seriously, that glow you were missing, I reckon it's there now.
    FMIDK/Suzie

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  13. Only you can get away with this Glow, you are gorgeous but i say that not in a creepy way. Love the strategic toddler ...mine would totally cover me now.

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  14. Carly, sadly I do not except when my milk came in !

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  15. You look beautiful!  Your bravery is astouding because there is no way I would even take a photo of me completely starkers and give it to Brad, let alone post it to the internet. 

    My god girl, you are way too hard on yourself.  I completely understand body image issues . . . I may have a few myself . . . but I have to say that from my perspective you have nothing to have an issue with. 

    Finally, I believe that I promised some cat calling so . . . . woo hoo .  . huba-huba . . . huminahuminahumina!! 

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  16. Woman I am inspired by you. Truly inspired. You are gorgeous inside and out!

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  17. You do have the most beautiful hair and you rock those curves, woman xx

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  18. You look incredible!! And kudos to you for going nude! It's a beautiful photo of you and Tricky. And one that I'm sure you'll treasure xoxox

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  19. Beautiful... just beautiful... You are amazing hunny. I admire you tremendously. You keep it real, and once again you have done it.

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  20. Well done for having the balls ( or not, as we can see from the pics! ) to post those - and may i say how goddess-like you are?
    ( As an aside, i also have a LOT of hair. In fact my hairdresser told me just last week i have about twice as much as i actually need. What that really means, i'm not sure... )

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  21. I love your body Glow.
    I get it. I get how hard it is, but you are such a beautiful woman inside and out, and I am so happy that you did this.
    Click publish and forget about it, right?

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  22. You are amazing Glowy. Beautiful, strong, and inspiring. 

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  23. I absolutely LOVE these photos!!! You are brave and gorgeous and the photos feeding tricky are beautiful!
    You should definitely love your amazing body.
    Very impressive and inspiring!!!
    xoxoxoxxo

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  24. Laney @ Crash Test MummyOctober 29, 2011 at 5:57 AM

    Good on you Glow, you look fabulous.

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  25. So i wasnt going to do this but damn Glow! Thankyou, you have given me the courage. xxx You are truly beautiful. Not hot, gorgeous or smokin (well them too) But Beautiful xx

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  26. Gorgeous glowing Glowy.

    You know what, I was where you are when I was still feeding my girl. (Except she weaned herself at 14 months... ooookay, then.... feelings of rejection ensued, as did gorging on junk - me, not her). As you know, I have only just started to take back control of my strength and fitness. My daughter is 5 and starting school. Tricky is so liddle! He is your focus for now, as it should be. Please do NOT beat yourself up (unless it is to enhance another of your already beautiful facial features, seeing as - apparently - that's one of your beautay secrets.... weirdo!). Keep stepping through the days. The right time will present itself - if only I had known I wouldn't have to push myself and berate myself for not being able to stick at a regime and take care of my body, I wouldn't have tried and failed and made myself feel worse and worse over the past few years. Something clicked only a few months ago and now it is shedding seemingly on its own. Before that, I tried and nothing happened.

    Soooo.... just sayin'.  xxx and kudos to you, kiddo.

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  27. You go girl! Love your nudie shots, and you look just as gorgeous out of clothes as you do in them. And I've always noticed how lovely your hair looks!

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  28. You remind me of Sofia Loren. That timeless, natural beauty. xx

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  29. Danielle MelnyczenkoOctober 29, 2011 at 9:33 AM

    GORGEOUS x

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  30. Love the killer curves! You look fantabulous!

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  31. You look amazing hun! I will think about doing a 'love your bosy' post.. even though I'm probably the heaviest I have ever been thanks to hypothyroidism and a size 14-16. You go girl! x

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  32. You are an inspiration Glow, and  you look absolutely beautiful. I love the strategically placed toddler. I have dogs, so perhaps I could take a shot with strategically placed puppies covering my puppies. I just don't have the courage, maybe next year

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  33. I'm looking for that shock too.  Every morning I wake up and think today is going to be the day, I eat well, I'm kind to myself and then will power lets me down, I shovel something in my mouth I know I shouldn't and think tomorrow, tomorrow is going to be the day.  What the hell is wrong with me!  Good on you, I don't think I could be quite so brave, but I applaude your honesty and bravery.

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  34. Duuuuuuuuuuuude you have totally nailed what this campaign is about. You took amazing and in the least creepy way possible, I think your skin looks beautiful and soft. Imagine how Tricky feels, being cuddled and comforted by something so warm and inviting. My poor kid gets a hug from a bird with big tits! I hope I've got some padding by the time I'm a nana. Nanas need to be a cuddlebasket of love :)

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  35. I already knew you were beautiful... clothed or naked, inside and out.
    Now all I have to do is pluck up the courage to join you :)

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  36. You look beautiful, and I know this will sound weird, but also incredibly gentle. Loved your photos and as a shallow aside, what shampoo and conditioner do you use? Your hair is GORGEOUS!

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  37. Glow, that should be the poster for breastfeeding and the empowerment of women, it is an awesome picture in so many ways xx

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  38. Would *I* do it- um, no is the honest answer. But I do have admiration for those who do. Power to you, kid xxx

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  39. ... (brief pause while I give you a standing ovation for bravery above and beyond the call of blogging)....

    Posts like this one make me a little sad because they make me realise all over again that you are so far away when I wish that you lived just around the corner and we could catch up for coffee and a chat. I need more friends with your special glowy brand of chutzpah.

    Love your work. :-)

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  40. If I'd had an amazing bra like yours maybe I wouldn't have gone the whole hog? ;-)

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  41. What a beautiful thing to say, thank you so much :)

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  42. Especially with two of them, Trish!

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  43. We're all hard on ourselves aren't we? I'd be surprised if supermodels aren't just as self conscious at times as we are - if not more, considering the second their looks go they are out of a job.

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  44. The more I look at it, the more I fall in love with it. It's one of the nicest photos of the two of us I think.

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  45. Curvy and feminine is absolutely beautiful.

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  46. Exactly, it's why I published last night and not today. If I'd waited I wouldn't have done it. Now I'm so happy I did. I feel liberated.

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  47. Thanks, Kate. Your post made me teary it was so good.

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  48. It might not be able to do what other people's bodies can, but it's done some pretty remarkable things :)

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  49. Yay Lolly! So glad you joined in!

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  50. Gorgeous... And I love your hair too x

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  51. Such beautiful photos of your body doing a beautiful thing. We have the same Sized Flipping Fantastic boobs

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  52. You are doing amazing things Miss Kirrily and your photos on Instagram were stunning... it's so nice that it's all just falling in to place for you with your head in the right space x

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  53. Comment of the century! Thanks Romina, your photos are amazing

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  54. Thanks beautiful. Perhaps not quite magazine material :P

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  55. I'm a 12-14 but only because I was sick the other week and lost 6kg!

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  56. Puppies covering puppies?! This is the best thing I've ever heard!!!!

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  57. You glow on the outside as well as the inside. I wish I was brave enough to do it too! Love the photos of you and Tricky xx

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  58. Just beautiful.. that's all I can say. XOXO

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  59. Wow, you look really good! I actually feel kind of inspired to post pictures of my tummy, complete with its "tiger stripes". I saw a picture on Facebook the other day that said "They're not stretch marks, they're tiger stripes". It may have had some other follow-on comment, but I can't remember the rest now. #mothermoment

    I think what we all need to remember is that our bodies change after having children and without all the stretch marks and saggy bits, we wouldn't have our wonderful children - that is worth celebrating. I am working hard at the moment to lose weight and am enjoying the journey, but I have no aspirations to have the body I had before having my boys. I'm really glad that you are able to embrace your body and what it is capable of. :)

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  60. nice work Glowless! Yes I'd pose naked on the internet. But you already know that.

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  61. gorgeous. And you've inspired me to go and take photos.
    x

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  62. Simply stunning. It's your heart that's glowing xx

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  63. Look what you did, Glowy. You found your glow!

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  64. I know it's not a competition ... it's the total opposite.

    But, if this WAS a competition ... you'd win. Hands down.

    Just sayin'.

    (I'd fight Veggie Mama for second, though.) XOX

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  65. Kirsty@MyHomeTruthsOctober 29, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    What a fantastic post - you should be very proud of your body and how it's been able to nurture your son. I am not as brave, but I have loved reading all the I Heart My Body posts today and am completely in awe of all those who have shown their love and respect for their bodies. Well done!

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  66. I love love love the breastfeeding photos. They are so gorgeous and natural.
    And I am jealous of your hair too. Ihave such fine hair it's not really useful for any long hair flicks , as I'm sure yours would be!

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  67. Brave and inspiring and beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing - oh, and you rock!

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  68. You are fabulous! Feel like donating some of your boob tissue to me? I am definitely not a big boobed member of the blogging community! Ha! :)

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  69. Well last year I wrote a post for the We Heart Life campaign. I wasn't confident to post a pic of myself but just writing down how I feel about my body was enough at the time.

    This post? Well, I think it is amazing. Your words and your honesty. But most of all, I was gobsmacked by your beauty. I can't think of a way to write this without sounding cliched but you could see the tenderness in these shots, it was pure natural beauty, nourishing your child.

    Guttsy, honest post. You should be VERY proud of yourself.... 

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  70. You go girl! I'm still not even brave enough to hit the beach, and if my hydrotherapist is away and I have to see one of the other therapists I just want to run and hide and usually wear a shirt in the pool. I am so proud of you for doing this!

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  71. You really are gorgeous. Hitting "post" is all kinds of scary when you're revealing yourself to the world huh?

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  72. This pics really are beautiful Glow xoxo

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  73. Just beautiful! You are incredible. xxx

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  74. Oh yeah I know that dance of tomorrows

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  75. Tricky loves my resting his head on my boobs and snuggling in... everyone needs a bosom for a pillow yeah?

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  76. And I see that you did! Good on you, Kate!

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  77. Matrix Biolage. It's not cheap but you use a really small amount compared to standard shampoos that it actually works out the same price.

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  78. I don't have many breastfeeding photos and I've gone a bit mad with them lately thinking Tricky may wean soon. It was lovely to capture such an intimate moment.

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  79. Thanks, Twitchy. I'm sure most people wouldn't, but I don't think I've shown any more than you'd see at the beach... quite possibly less!

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  80. Chutzpah is one of my favourite words and you are one of my favourite people x

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  81. *bows* Thank you, Kim, it means a lot coming from you.

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  82. My naked feeding of him is normally in the bathtub, was a little strange on the lounge - but I love the pictures too

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  83. Strategically placed toddler and/or iron...

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  84. You are gorgeous. And be careful of that Veggie Mama... she'll throw food at you :P x

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  85. Even if you haven't participated I'm glad that you've got something out of it. But so you know, you don't have to strip down to nothing or even underwear - fully clothed is fine :)

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  86. We took a series of photos and the one straight after this I was laughing really hard because Tricky decided to try and put his foot in my mouth for me to nibble it... which meant he wasn't so strategically placed anymore!

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  87. Thank you so much, Gill. And it doesn't sound cliched, it sounds lovely.

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  88. Thank you! It was a big decision but I'm glad I did it. And nice to see you and a few other men commenting so positively - definitely not being leered over as one rather deluded Facebook commenter would have us think!

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  89. Oh hell yes! I sat here going um arrrrr errrr... I'll do it tomorrow. Then thought if I didn't do it right that minute, I wouldn't do it at all.

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  90. Thanks, Shae! So glad to see so many other people joining in this year, even some nudies like me!

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  91. I looked like a porn star when my milk came in. I can't image what cup size they would have been then - a busty nurse came in and smiled saying "So I'm guessing your milk came in? I was the same." She was so lovely and adjusted my bra for me :)

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  92. You ARE beautiful! Thank you for posting this, and the photos of you breastfeeding are gorgeous and very tasteful.  I don't know if it's weird or something I'm not supposed to admit, but I think a woman breastfeeding is such a beautiful thing to see. The human body, more so the female body is an amazing creation!

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  93. Thank you, Natalie! I don't think it's weird, I always look at women breastfeeding and think I better look away in case they think I'm being pervy... but I can't help it, it's just so gorgeous to see a mum and bub so enthralled with each other!

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  94. Oh yes, i'm the same, I look away to give privacy and because I don't want them to think I'm perving, it's always more of "oh my god that is amazing, i'm in total awe".

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  95. We all have bodies and they are all beautiful whether we believe it ourselves or not, but its the strength and bravery that I admire the most. No leering here, just a confirmation of the respect I have always had for you (and the hubby for supporting you with it).

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  96. Need to change your name to Glowlots :) Glowing in all your photos, glowing in real life and glowing in celebration of you xx

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  97. I only just realised that I forgot to comment on this post after I read it the other day. I think I was too busy picking my jaw up off the ground because YOU are so beautiful and so womanly and delicious! And like a lot of other commenters have already mentioned.... YOUR HAIR! Fab xxx

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  98. I don't care if it's not why you posted I am gonna tell you something. You are HOT. Screw the naysayers. Good on you for being loud and proud. I feel a lot of your same thought about my body and although it fails me on many levels (including breast feeding) it has given me 2 beautiful boys that are gonna make the world a better place. You are brave and beautiful. Oh yeah and you have great tits and hair - for shiz baby xxxxxx

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  99. Yup, you do look lovely :)

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  100. Well done Glowy! These photos are pure motherhood and womanhood. You should feel empowered! And I am pretty sure you've imspired a gajillion women (and men) to be empowered too x

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