Thursday, April 21, 2011

Arse Covering 101

If you're a medical professional, perhaps a paediatrician, and receive a letter from a mother drawing attention to the fact that you missed all the signs that point to a baby having a particular skull deformity, here's a few tips for you on how to respond in your own letter:

1. Make sure to get the tone of said letter just right; you should aim for a mix of arrogant bastard and condescending dickhead. If you pretend that you're God while writing, it should be perfect.

2. Ignore all the physical characteristics that were brought to your attention, the ones that should have set off alarm bells, and instead focus on one characteristic that you did notice, the "slight facial asymmetry", that isn't actually related to the syndrome in question.

3. Lie and say you mentioned this asymmetry to the mother and had a conversation about it - say you remember that particular conversation clearly even though you see hundreds of babies. Include a copy of the medical notes where a nurse has written "slight facial asymmetry" but don't include the copy of the notes where you ruled a line through everything and signed it - hopefully the mother would have lost these notes. She hasn't.

4. Point out the unrelated matter where the mother chose to not get her baby prophelacticly injected at birth with a synthetic substance for a rare blood disorder "against medical advice" rather than state that the mother chose to be informed in her birth choices and not swayed by fearmongering doctors.

5. Chastise the mother for not coming back to you for the six week infant check up, even though you said it was fine for her to go to any General Practitioner unless there was something in particular she was concerned about.

6. Completely deny that you said anything offensive in regards to the mother's breasts but then contradict yourself and say you were only trying to be light-hearted because she was having difficulty establishing breastfeeding - ignore the fact that the notes you've attached say the child fed like a champ from the get go.

7. At all times remember your job is to make the mother feel guilty for daring to have a child without obtaining a medical degree first.

8. Continue to demand payment of $400 even though you didn't do your job properly, but mention that Medicare pays for some of it so the mother has nothing to complain about.

9. Maintain that the syndrome, which is visible in photos from birth, must have developed some time after the mother and child left the hospital.

10. Once you've had your secretary type it up for you, make sure you back date it so that it appears you responded immediately after being contacted instead of being honest and documenting that it took you a month.

11. Above all else, blame everyone else for everything.

Whilst you may think that writing a letter like this would just inflame the mother, you'd be wrong. It is true she will feel intense rage when reading you words and that bitter, angry tears will spill from her eyes, but, because you've managed to work in so many insults and pick at the frayed edges of her being, her very soul will be crushed and instead of fighting you, she will instead curl up in bed and cry... a great result with the added bonus that your indemnity insurance premiums won't go up.
 ___________________________________________________
Glowless rocked the Aussie Bloggers Conference thanks to

44 comments:

  1. name and shame my dear. oh and then report him and put in a very loud complaint against him because that is shocking and NO mother should have to go through that.

    i am so tired of people not taking responsibility for their actions [or lack of action] of not putting their hand up and admitting that they were wrong - hey people make mistakes but grow some balls and OWN them when you do.

    big hugs and don't let this whole debacle go unanswered.

    ~x~

    p.s. yay for the first today xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh. Oh. Oh.

    I can't believe he put it in WRITING. Wow. He really is a fucking arsehole.

    Trust that you did everything right. He IS trying to cover his arse. But my question is (cause I know nothing) will his inaction have future reprocussions?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Honey, don't get me started.
    Doctors or should I say some doctors, because I am sure there are some great ones out there...somewhere, are just like everything you've listed and more.
    You won't get much positive feedback from me.

    I am sorry though that you were made to feel that way, belittled and small when you have done nothing wrong at all.

    I'm sorry that Tricky's diagnosis was missed by that idiot

    and I am sorry that you are hurting so badly right now.

    I wish he could walk in your shoes. He might just see what a git he is and if not make things better (it goes a long way when a health professional actually apologises) for you then at least not do it again for some other mum and her baby.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Some doctors really are dickheads. I am sorry you wree on the receiving end of this one. Take it further with all your evidence with the hospital that employs him, make them do a review of the case. Don't let it go. Cry, then get angry again, and make life miserable for him. Don't let him win this round.

    Hugs to you and your gorgeous Tricky. I loved the matching head bandages in your linked post!

    ReplyDelete
  5. report report report. after that good cry of course. you have the copies of the notes that go against this letter. Let the fucker get fucked.
    and hugs sweety

    ReplyDelete
  6. Gah! Childrens medical care should be free. ALL medical care, specialists, dentists, optical, ALL of it. And yes, you have to watch some doctors who just feed you bullshit. Always important to check up on what they say (googling isn't hard) because some do take you for a ride.
    We luckily have a wonderful GP. But the amount of specialist i've seen for my kids...it's really very hard to afford it, especially when it's NEEDED.

    ReplyDelete
  7. some Dr's are literally arseholes with severe verbal diarhea.
    when Miss 9 was 18 months old, she cut across the bridge of her nose open on a milk crate, and needed 5 stitches. it happened on a friday arvo, so after getting to PMH at anout 3.30pm and not being seen by a dr until 9.30pm, we were told to go home and come back in the morning, as Miss 9 needed a GA. fast forward a couple of weeks, and at the follow up appt, the surgoen had the nerve to tell us that her dissolving stitches HAD NOT popped, when clearly, 2 or 3 of them had and made her scar BIGGER. Hubby almost punched the surgoen out, they said it would fade over time and it hasnt. Stupid friggin arsehole dr's that think they are god.
    rant over. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  8. Doctors, ugh. What an arse. Please can you complain?

    ReplyDelete
  9. I feel like a whinger for complaining over this when you have 1000x the hassles with Ivy's doctors.

    ReplyDelete
  10. It won't have any further repercussions, unless you consider my drinking problem a repercussion? The surgery has fixed everything except my bitterness :P

    ReplyDelete
  11. I wasn't even threatening name and shame, legal action, or anything; I just wanted him to know he'd missed it.

    And brilliant timing on those first steps - and done in front of my Dad too!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks, owlycat. I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

    I made matching bandages for his lion because when my sister had her tonsils out as a child, they gave her toy monkey tiny little scrubs and I thought it was so cute.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I've kept everything they gave me - in the way mothers only do for first borns!!!

    Have just realized I have put #2 twice. Crap.

    ReplyDelete
  14. What fuckery is this?

    Makes me so angry. I'm so sorry you've been belittled and so blatantly disrespected, especially by someone in a position of power at a time when you're vulnerable.

    I agree. Name and shame. What an arsehole.

    ReplyDelete
  15. PS please ignore my inability to remain in any one tense lol!

    ReplyDelete
  16. It's ridiculously expensive - almost $400 for about 5 minutes of obviously not very thorough work.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I love how they will deny something right to your face when the evidence is right there. I'm thinking there must actually be an arse covering 101 in med school.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'll be complaining to the medical board and the hospitals he works at. I'm thinking now that I'll probably just pay the bill first just so I don't get a black mark on my credit history.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Are you sure you don't live in Victoria?
    Your paediatrician sure sounds like mine.
    Took me months to get an appointment, regardin concerns about mini fits Miss E seemed to be having, then because she didn't have one in the 10 minutes he saw her told me there was nothing he could do, or suggest. Oh, and the bill for that ten minutes could buy me a secondhand car!

    Keep your chin up and report him to his authorities because he has no right to treat you that way! x

    ReplyDelete
  20. I can't offer advice, only sympathy. It was so wrong that you and Tricky were treated this way. Hope you get closure.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Name and Shame.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I have slight facial asymmetry. That's why I have a fringe off to the side. Perhaps caused by something at birth? Forceps wouldn't have helped.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Nononononononononononono :(
    Please don't let any of his insults make you feel like a worthless piece of shit - because he is the arsehole in all of this. He is the professional non-human who is clearly incapable of saying - "sorry, I fucked up". He is the lowlife with clearly zero bedside manner, or shred of human decency.
    Don't take any of his insults on board honey.
    You are an amazing person & an awesome mummy & this is not a reflection on you at all, it is ALL about him.

    I can imagine how furious, frustrated & let down you must be feeling right now - all amplified by a million because this is about your beautiful little Tricky.

    Sending much love xxx

    ReplyDelete
  24. Wow, there are some truly evil doctors Perth way! My aunt is a doctor from Perth and in the seventies she had the gall to question another doctors research at a medical conference. The other doctor had her institutionalised! My jaw dropped when she told me, it was almost too weird to believe, being led away at a medical conference because you spoke up and being put in an asylum! It appears there are some doctors in Perth who don't take criticism well...

    I'm sorry it upset you so much, though I really think such an idiot isn't worth paying attention too, makes me wonder how so many shoddy doctors get through med school. Though a doctor pointed out to me it was more about perseverance than intelligence!

    Congrats on the first steps, so nice for your dad! I was lucky enough to see the first steps of the baby I looked after (I was too mortified to tell the mother) She had this cute thing where she would encourage herself and say "Go, go, go!" and waddle along with her bum sticking out, makes me all misty eyed!

    ReplyDelete
  25. People skills - that's what a good doctor needs

    ReplyDelete
  26. I used to work in a medical centre and the sheer arrogance of doctors, combined with their lack of common sense would drive me up the wall.... actually 5 years of managing a medical centre prepared me really well for having two children on the autism spectrum... what does that say about doctors?

    ReplyDelete
  27. Thanks, Bronnie. I really want to let this part of my life go... I thought we were over it all because I hadn't heard from him, then he finally replied.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I've named him on my FB wall - where not surprisingly another reader says what a douche he was when she was concerned about her daughter.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Quite likely, Nikki, our bones are so soft when we're born, forceps or even a prolonged labour can squish us out of shape. I will send Tricky to you for styling tips should he wish to cover his asymmetry :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. I expected he wouldn't admit fault, but I thought I might be lucky enough to get a "sometimes things can be hard to diagnose" blah blah blah. But a "no, I was right, you're a negligent mother" approach was definitely not what I expected.

    ReplyDelete
  31. OMG Jen! That's disgusting. So true about it being more about perseverance than intelligence.

    And I love the little wobbly waddle!!!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Slap across the chops is what this particular doctor needs.

    ReplyDelete
  33. That says a whole lot about doctors. If we think something is wrong, we're paranoid and hysterical - if we're unaware something is wrong because we've got no medical training, we're negligent.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Bastards. This is why I say all Paediatrician's should be like Dr Cooper from Private Practice. But seriously, you're a stronger person than me G lady, because I would be on their doorstep ranting and raving. So lucky Tricky has the freaking cutest cheeky cheeks ever (a total 10 on my squeeze-the-crap-outta-you rating scale).

    ReplyDelete
  35. Absolutely brilliant. Not the doctor, obviously - he should be castrated at dawn by an audience of angry mothers wielding dangerous weapons - but you. The strength in your words - you took my breath away. You have been through so much, as has your little one. Don't let an a#$%hole of a doctor take away the strength and happpiness that shines from within you and your writing. His karma will come. xxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  36. One word: karma. His time will come....

    ReplyDelete
  37. Name. Shame. LOUDLY. There are no excuses for this and until people speak up doctors will continue to believe the sun shines out their arses. And the only thing that does come out is shit - like everyone else. But apparently your paediatrician dribbles shit too - so he is 'extra special'.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Unbelievable.
    Just - unbelievable.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I'm not stronger; the only reason I'm not making more of a fuss is because all I do when I'm angry is cry - it's really annoying when you're trying to be confident and kick someones ass.

    ReplyDelete
  40. This comment has made my day, Salamander. Thank you so much.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Multitalented, spilling it from both ends :)

    ReplyDelete
  42. You're right, Kel. Swings and roundabouts.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I keep re-reading his letter - it is unbelievable. I can't imagine how someone can be so callous.

    ReplyDelete
  44. This holier than thou attitude by some of the medical profession in australia, is truly getting on my nerves, How dare they act this way.
    When i'm angry i cry too... people think its weak, but its really just better than knocking heads together..
    stay strong x o

    ReplyDelete

Comments are blogger crack.
Comments are taken through Disqus. If you don't see that here then please try another browser or device. Thanks x

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...