Thursday, December 1, 2011

Louboutins, Lamborghinis and the Living Dead

This post is sponsored by Nuffnang

Map Guy gets a subscription to a car magazine every Christmas… well he usually does. Last year he decided, for some unknown reason, that he wanted to branch out and get something different. Which completely sucked because I had to think of a new present for him - I bought him a Hot Lap, forgot about it, bought him something else awesome, then remembered the Hot Lap and died a little inside realizing how much money I’d spent.

But I digress.

When I told Map Guy we were getting the chance to review Top Gear Australia Magazine he went a little crazy. The thought of having a car magazine back in hands after such a long period of automotive abstinence made him foam at the mouth in anticipation. He lost the ability to form sentences and just went around the house making vroom vroom noises and driving an imaginary Ferrari. I rolled my eyes but Tricky thought it was awesome fun and joined in.

After he stopped ran out of petrol, we tried to figure out which article we liked best. I like cars – I like the noise they make, I like some of the shapes, I like being driven fast around a track and I really like that new car smell... yet I still choose my car based on colour, how easily I can fit a massive bloody pram in the boot and whether or not it has a wine bottle holder (mine does!). Therefore if I had to call myself a car nut I’d be a peanut. Map Guy likes everything about them – things that I have no clue about like diffs, cam shafts, injectors, and I’m slightly embarrassed to say, manual gearboxes. He is a giant car nut… a brazil nut. Or a coconut if that’s actually a nut – I was too afraid to Google “big nuts” and check.

So I grabbed the mag and flicked through:

“What about this Range Rover Evogue article, Map Guy? It says the interior could match my Christian Louboutins!”

“What the hell are they? Is that one of those expensive handbags?”

“No, they’re shoes”

“Do you own a pair?”

“Nah, I’d have to sell a kidney to afford them… OK how about the James May Pub Guide to Technology?”

“I’m not sure that would be appropriate Glow, considering even after the cartoon explanation, you’ve still have no idea what it was about…”

“Yes I do! It’s about giant pints of beer… isn’t it?”

“Errr no. Hand over the Top Gear Magazine and no one gets hurt. Here, what about this one? We can talk about the Lamborghini.”

“Ewwww it looks like someone beat it with the ugly stick. Plus it’s white, I hate white cars. What about the article I saw with the man posing naked in front of his car in the middle of nowhere?”

“What’s it about?”

“I don’t know, I only looked at the naked man pictures.”

“Wow, you’d make an excellent TT reporter. WAIT! I’ve found it! Zombie cars!”

“Zombie cars? SHOW ME! OMG I WANT ONE!”

So having managed to avoid the Ford vs Holden carnage that usually ensues when we watch motorsport together, we have survived the tandem reading of Car Magazines and managed to zone in on the undead. I love that man, take that, seven year itch!

After seeing him so happy I’ll definitely be heading back to the tried and true present of a magazine subscription. Plus this year I might win a tropical escape to Hawaii with Magshop’s Christmas competition. Treat your family and friends to a magazine subscription today so they’re reminded how awesome you are every month! Gals, if you can manage to time its arrival every month with your PMS, even the throwing of knives and dinner plates will be forgiven. Maybe.


  1. Oh new car is white! Now I'm usually a white car hater like yourself and will fight tooth and nail to buy anything but however when I saw my current car in white I wanted it, it just looks right. Plus the only other colour consideration for me was black and I want my car as cool as possible in summer with the amount of time I spend in it - wow perhaps I'm finally growing up?!?

  2. Louboutins and hatred of white cars.

    I fucking love you.

    (and my car is white. I HATE that it is white.  But it was a bargain.)

  3. White cars are safer on the road...unless you have driven them on a farm, through the mud and refuse to wash them because that's a man's job. Just saying.

    Love the idea of a magazine subscription for all the reasons you pointed out! One Christmas gift ticked off the list!

  4. Never thought of a magazine subscription as a reminder of my awesomeness once a month but you are so right! There's some of my Christmas presents solved!

  5. Such a great idea for my Bother's (oh I mean Brother) birthday in January ... so they don't come with steak knives ?


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