‘Twas the Friday before Christmukkah, and all through the Blog,
Not a post was stirring, except for the Flog;
The gingerbread has been published so people can try it,
Make it yourself; you don’t have to buy it!
Add some shortbread to your feast post haste,
Just be careful or it’ll end up on your waist.
You’ll be surrounded by rellies when the big day arrives,
And for safety it’s best to hide all the knives,
Put up with a kiss from pervy Uncle Rick,
And cousin Peter who’s always been a dick,
Then second cousin Janey makes a comment so crude,
And the whole thing erupts in to one big feud.
At least you get a present, awesome, you’ve scored,
You’ve been a good girl all year; this is your reward!
Then when you’re feeling all nice and full,
Grab a giant cracker and give it a pull,
A shitty paper hat and a lame ass joke,
And it’s all because of some old fat bloke.
Enjoy the holidays, Floggers!