Saturday, May 28, 2011

Dude Where's My Rapture?

So we know there was no Rapture right? Well we're all still here so it's either there was no one worth saving or it didn't happen.

Old news, I know.

But now is one of those times when I wish I was a more organized person because Map Guy actually went out and bought a second hand filing cabinet (so we can become more organized people) last Saturday, but only yesterday did we bother to look in it and find it's hidden treasures (a whole week too late to blog it but I'm doing it anyway).


Unconcerned with all things Rapture, Map Guy ventured over one suburb to pick up a second hand filing cabinet from an elderly gentleman who had white hair, a white beard and small silver spectacles. He would have been a spitting image of Santa Claus if it were not for the wonky glass eye.

So the Santa wannabe offered Map Guy all the manila folders in the cabinet, and since we're tight arses frugal, he jumped at the chance.

The cabinet and all it's folders has sat, untouched, for a week in our junk room study.

Today when we opened it we realised exactly why this guy was getting rid of all his stuff...

Yep... the Santa guy was one of the believers. There were about 50 of these files, but these were the best/weirdest. From top to bottom they are:
Understanding the Apocolypse
Are you prepared?
Rapture of Transformation
Seven things God was doing
The Echad of God
The Early Christian Meal
Origin of the Secret Theory - Rapture

At first I just laughed. Then I cringed. And then... well then I felt a bit sad. Felt guilty for poking fun.

I think Mr Claus was one of the believers; his folders (some of which had a few reams of heavy rapture reading material in them) and the giving away of his possessions kinda point to it. Either that or it was just a freakishly timed bout of generosity. And if he truly believed he was being saved then it must have been a major disappointment when 6pm rolled around and there was no tremors and no big shiny lights (or whatever a Rapture is meant to be like).

What must that feel like? For something you have been looking forward to, praying for, depending on... to just vanish before your eyes. I can't even comprehend it.

26 comments:

  1. The poor blighter, he just dumped the lot lol

    I was seriously hoping you were going to say it was Jesus who gave you the cabinet... now I feel like the wanna be santa, disappointed..

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  2. There was millions of dollars raised for the supposed rapture so there's gotta be a lot of believers out there.  Or former believers.  I would be pretty mad if I spent all my time preparing for a rapture that never happened.

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  3. I found it sad that normally sensible people just followed blindly.  Besides, if creepy guys like Harold Camping are getting raptured, I want to stay here!

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  4. If one is a believer of the Bible, it clearly states that that no one knows the day or time of the Jesus' return. This thing with Camping didn't have anything to do with Jesus, just a poor deluded old fellow and his ignorant followers.

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  5. The question now is, "Does he want his filing cabinet and files back or has he just said to hell with it all?!"

    It would be tough to believe in something with all your heart, only to see it turn out to be false.  I would suspect that the lack of the Rapture has a good many people questioning their beliefs and, I know from experience, this is a rather strange place to be.

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  6. Amy@ New AdventuiresMay 29, 2011 at 5:07 AM

    I kind of cacked a little because if that isnt freakishly time generosity, then it is amusing bout of naivety.... but yes, then you think " he's gone and done all that for nothing " and you feel for him. Just a little. But for those who "raised millions " for the Rapture i have no problem laughing at - even if the rapture did come and you were sucked up to Heaven on beams of light.... what are you going to need money for? Suckers!

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  7. I'm sorry but i'm just laughing. It's one thing to maybe possibly believe and want to be safe rather than sorry, but to be studying it and following it so closely? Lol.

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  8. It was a disgusting con. Unfortunately people believe that stuff, and give thier time and money to people. Awful.

    Honestly, though, it's interesting the number of people out there bagging that guy who still want to run along ot heaven and send me to hell .


    All the fun people willl be in Hell, anyway :D

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  9. It's sad that vulnerable people got conned. It always is. I don't understand the state intelligent people must be in to get conned so obviously.

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  10. The Rapture wasn't the end of the world, it was the end of the world as we know it. Which means big changes. Just what those changes are or when they might happen isn't exactly clear or even remotely clear. I'm hoping one of the changes will be that politicians all have a change of heart and stop taxing every little thing.

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  11. I wonder what else he did in preparation. I'd be feeling pretty mad, and foolish, and betrayed, about the whole thing. You wouldn't know what to believe any more. True believers say their faith is just that, faith, and they don't need tangible evidence. So I'm not sure what this means for those who claimed to believe but were relying on the Rapture to provide proof. 
    And now he's also going to have to go and buy more manila folders, to top it all off :) Poor ol' fella. 

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  12. Just checking to see if Blogger will let me comment.

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  13. The problems with Blogger commenting shouldn't affect Where's My Glow cos of the Disqus app :)

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  14. The main guy professing the end was upon us, the one taking everyone's moolah, was predicting rolling earthquakes followed by fires around the globe.

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  15. I'm definitely not giving him back his folders- I've already filled them!

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  16. Exactly - I realize people desperately just want something to believe in, but when you have to pay $xxx to join or be "saved", surely that's a big hint it's suss???

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  17. There is a fantastic quote in the Australian miniseries Brides of Christ that says about going to hell; "Even if we have to stand on our heads in a bucket of shit, we'll have more fun than the suckers in heaven"... I quote it often :P

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  18. Did you see the funny quote going around the net? It's so appropriate for him: Don't worry that everyone's laughing at you... it's not the end of the world. Hahahaha

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  19. I'm under no illusion that the people raising money for the Rapture were actually believers... they were just greedy assholes willing to take others for a ride and prey on their insecurities. Bastards.

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  20. Unfortunately I remember that being on, but not watching it. One day maybe.

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  21. I bet it strange - it would be a hard adjustment to make. He'll need to go out and buy a new cabinet though, he's not getting this one back (oooh I'm a meanie)

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  22. Exactly! I don't wanna go where he's going!!!

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  23. I'd be mad... but I don't know if they're smart enough to realize they've been conned by a man and not given gospel by a prophet. I'd want a refund.

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  24. Apparently it means earthquakes and crap. Which was happening beforehand but I'm sure someone will go SEEEEE END OF DAYS! GIVE ME MONEY!

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  25. I'm so sorry to disappoint you, Liz... at Christmas I celebrate Santa Day so it's kinda Jesus, right? Kinda? Nah.

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  26. maybe the blogger thing was the rapture? 

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