Therefore the drunken shenanigans, the pashes goodbye, the table top dancing, the questionable photos, the massive overshares and abundance of euphemisms will go with me to the grave. However it is safe to say that when a bunch of people who don't get out often get a night of free drinks, they rock on. HARD.
Instead I can only spill the goss on myself, so here's the highs and lows of my weekend, in no particular order:
- Being shown a photo of sexay Veggie Mamma and StMurphy and saying I was his biggest stalker, only to find out he was standing right next to me when I said it. The embarrassment knew no end and I wanted to slink away unnoticed. However I got to meet him and now I love him even more cos he's a dirty bitch, just like me, so this one is actually a high.
- Getting my hand stuck in a tram door on the way to the hotel and not being able to get it out until the next stop. I remained calm but the woman next to me started panicking that my finger was broken. I was half an hour late for my meeting because I was icing my poor, swollen hand.
- Taking a bite of pizza at lunch without realizing it had mussels on it, that I’m a little bit allergic to – my tongue and throat started swelling! I took full advantage of the hashtag and live Twitter feed and put out the call for antihistamines which was retweeted long after the anti histamines were found (thanks Kate and Twitchy!). It was slightly overshadowed by Fi seeing the tweet and thinking I had asked for amphetamines.
- Throwing up on the morning of the conference after only having four drinks the night before. I'm assuming it was a combination of six hours sleep over the previous 48 hours, no food in my belly, and a sleeping tablet. When asked by the gorgeous photographer Fi what I could possibly be throwing up, knowing I hadn't eaten or drunk much, I replied that I was throwing up my soul... and it got Tweeted. Bitches.
- Almost missing my plane home. There is an entire blog post for that, full of tears and tantrums.
- My boobs tingling and leaking whilst holding Veggie Baby, Squishy, and when in the car with Kate's BabyGirl after Kate kidnapped me. I developed a major case of Stockholm Syndrome though, so it's OK.
- Blushing when Andrew Hughes of Reprise Media mentioned me as having a better media kit that some of the professional ones they see and having a massive head swell seeing my name explode over the Twitter feed screens and trending according to TrendsMap (the post on the media kit will be coming soon!)
- Receiving the best backhanded compliment I've ever gotten from the amazing Lizosaurus when she called me "annoyingly stylish". It will now be my tag line. Glowless; annoyingly stylish. I would look much more stylish wearing one of these tshirts though, but Liz, I'm not wearing a bloody cat hat, no matter how freakin cute you looked in it.
- Deepening my Blogger crush on Nicole Avery as I listened to her speak at the Blogger's Brunch and at the conference, and as I danced the night away with her at the post drinks. That woman really knows how to let her hair down.
- Going up to Pro Blogger and boldly introducing myself as the chick with the kick ass media kit and asking him to pose for a photo, thus making him late to get the stage.
- Singing sound of music songs with Lynda at post drinks. None of this crap current top 40 music for us, we went straight to the classics. Singing So Long, Farwell when she left was one of the best bits of the whole night.
- Sharing an apartment at the Oaks on Lonsdale (who have the most fabulous staff, one who even loaned me his iPhone to access my bank account when my card was rejected) with some of the funniest, most amazing women I've ever met, who saved me on more than one occasion. Kelley, Shae and Toushka are totes my BFFs.
It's time for a montage, even Rocky had a montage! None of the images are edited so you can watch my fall from grace as the weekend (and more specifically the post drinks night) wears on.