Thursday, November 3, 2011

10 Reasons Why I Don't Comment On Your Blog

Wow. You folk sure do like a ranty, cranky pants post! The comments on Why I Don't Read Your Blog were amazing!

Speaking of comments, everyone loves them. They are a blogger's crack, their life force, the cream in their coffee and however else you care to describe it. There isn't a week that goes by without hearing someone complain about the lack of them in an effort to get more. If only getting more money was as easy as complaining about it.

So, without further ado, I bring you the next, highly anticipated  installment of Why I Don't with an added original, personalized button featuring a particularly nice male bottom, which may or may not belong to Map Guy, wearing a pair of very un-cranky pants in a lame attempt at irony (who could be cranky in licorice all sorts undies?). Please note some of these points fall in to the "it's not you, it's me" category... but most don't.

Why I Don't Comment On Your Blog

1. Everyone else has already said everything worthwhile, or said what I'd like to say but in such an amazing, well written, poetic way, that writing "You're so funny" / "Hope you feel better" / "Thinking of you" just makes me look kinda sad and pathetic.

2. I feel like a douche saying (((hugs))) and everyone else already said onomatopoeia. If I can't add something of value to a conversation I often don't.

3. You fall in to three or more of the categories from Why I Don't Read Your Blog... if I'm not reading, well it's just natural to assume that is why I don't comment, yes? However feel free to think it's another one of the nine reasons, whatever makes you feel better.

4. I'm on my iPad and two finger typing really shits me. Considering I read 90% of blogs when I'm in bed this is why my comments have dropped off dramatically lately, it's such a first world problem. Your post has to be amazing for me to stab out a comment that I can't arrow back through (WTF Apple? An arrow key would be nice next time!) if I've made a mistake.

5. Your post is of the whiney, attention seeking variety. We ALL write emo posts, and that's just fine and dandy. Sometimes we need to get things off our chest to process them and writing them out to the blogosphere is the only way we can do it. But if most of your posts are obviously of a 'pity me', 'nobody likes me so I'm going to stop blogging' or passive aggressive nature with the underlying intention to see how many people will comment... nup. Get over yourself or see a therapist to find out ways to build your self esteem.

6. Your comment box has a captcha. Is that an I or an l? A particularly warped C or an E? I cannot read those curly bastards and if it takes more than two tries to get it to go through then I just give up.  Spam filters take up most of the crap anyway, you don't NEED captchas. Most captcha comment boxes also require at least three different clicks of the 'publish comment' button - I was sure the first time I pressed it, don't make me do it more.

7. Your "click to comment" button is at the top of your post. Now I'm not sure how you read, but I tend to go from top to bottom... If I can't see where to comment immediately then you have to have written something earth shattering to get my comment. I'm time poor and lazy, basically. Also if your comment button doesn't have the word comment in it, how am I meant to know where the hell to click???

8. You have comment moderation on. What are other people saying about this post? Comments are about conversation not just with you, but with others too and I'd like to know without having to check back three days later to see what you've approved. If you've got moderation on it's like it is just you and I talking and really, that is what the phone is for, it's the anti-blog.

9. I am so incensed by your idiotic, misinformed post full of "facts" that you grabbed from the latest current affairs show that a novel length rant about how much of a narrow minded imbecile you are would be the only appropriate response. Since I don't have the time nor inclination to write something that long or directly offensive, I instead quickly introduce my forehead to my desk and click away.

10. You have right-click disabled on your blog which means if I make a typo I can't go back and fix it unless I delete my way back (and no, I can't just let it slide, I will definitely not let a comment go up with a known typo). If the error is at the beginning there is Buckley's chance I will delete it all and start again or copy and paste it in to word and then back. Too. Much. Effort.

Why don't you comment?

P.S. So many of you are going to say Disqus and that's cool. Say it. People hate it but I like it so it will stay, so you can stop yelling at me about it now and please stop sending me passive aggressive emails saying you're unfollowing when you could just not comment like 99% of readers. However feel free to keep hating it, last time I checked I wasn't holding a gun to your head forcing you to use it.

107 comments:

  1. LOVE this post. I did a comment post yesterday and got so many comments. funny about that.
    http://helloowl.blogspot.com/2011/11/why-dont-you-comment.html

    I hate word verification and comment moderation. It drives me insane.

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  2. I've turned into the world's worst commenter, and email replier. Quite frankly because I am lazy and have no patience to do either on my phone. I'm only using our PC (and our pathetic 3G net) for uni stuff, copying and pasting my blog posts from Word to Blogger and the occasional comment. 


    Fuck haters. 

    Fuck passive aggressive folk.Fuck boxer shorts that do not have licorice allsorts on them!
    x

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  3. I like your cranky pants rants - it makes me realise the mistakes I'm making on my new blog :)  Now to work out how to get the comments button to the bottom of posts... (I've just removed post approval) lol

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  4. The biggest piece of time I get to read blogs is when I'm walking my dog - 5:30am and 5pm, on my smartphone. So it's dark, cold and my thumbs are fat. It's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

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  5. Time is my biggest reason, I don't get to read half the blogs I want to let alone comment on them! Or I'm reading them at 11pm and can't put together a sentence because I'm so tired. Right now I'm neglecting my children, just so I can comment ;-)

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  6. I use Disqus on my site. Never realized people don't like/respect Disqus?

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  7. I really liked this and thought it was funny as hell until I realized I have never seen a glow job comment on any of my posts.  Now I feel like shit. Poor me!

    Cranky Old Man

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  8. I don't get the probs with disqus, but aside from that I don't comment because basically I have run out of time. With 3 small kids at home I jump on and off the computer with such speed i am amazed I even get to read a post from start to finish. x

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  9. Having only statred blogging fully back in June,I do understand all your points and appreciate what you are saying. Although I think for some bloggers a virtual hug is sometimes better that nothing, especially when they are feeling crapola. I have moderation and captcha mainy due to point 5 as many a time Comments have come through asking for help from basic to suicidal which I don't feel is appropriate to have on my blog.I will email them and give them the advice & pint them in the right direction. I've also had some horrendous comments on managing child behaviour which again I refuse to have on the site. I'm slowly getting there, no hugs for you but a great big sloppy virtual MWAH x

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  10. No. 5 makes me want to cut myself and no. 6 - way toooooo hard.

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  11. Most of the above and, to be honest, blogs that attract so many comments I feel mine will be lost ( a little like the 'it's all be said already' thing). 

    Which now I've said it out loud seems all kinds of wrong ... hmm

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  12. I don't even know what 10. means :-s I'm going now to right click on my blog to see what happens.

    Sometimes I don't comment if a post is particularly raw and painful. I know that I probably should because the person has put herself out there, but often I feel like I can't contribute or that I'm somehow intruding, particularly if I haven't really 'met' the person yet.

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  13. Sara - Tis The LifeNovember 3, 2011 at 9:34 AM

    Fab post - you forgot to mention if the comment system 'eats' my comment rarely am I going to re-type it & even if I do take the extra time it will never be as good as the first time I commented.

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  14. won't comment because a post is not relevant to my interests. I dont use bronzers or fake tan, so a post about these things - even if you're my favorite blogger EVA - will not illicit a response from me. I'm not the audience, I would say thats a given.

    ALSO - dont comment on, or watch, videos. for two reasons - firstly I'm often blog reading at work. secondly - if I'm a home, I'm blogging whilst listening to music, and sort of resent having to switch it off to listen to you (not YOU, you in general) awkwardly talk about stuff that would have sounded far better being written about. 

    so yes.

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  15. Great post. I hate that captcha thingy myself. I agree with the Comment link at the top. I read the post get to the bottom and they have questions or some such thing, which makes me feel all motivated to comment and can't find the silly box. I am enjoying your 'Why I don't?' series immensely. Keep them coming!

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  16. I like Disqus, but I can never get it to work properly on my blog.  I'd say the reasons I don't comment are the ones in which everyone has already used all the good comments. 

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  17. At the moment the biggest reason that I don't comment is that blogs on Blogger that don't have comments in a separate windown will not accept that I have a google account.  I am too damn lazy to try and figure why this is and so I don't comment.

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  18. I don't comment when I see a hundred other comments (what could I possibly add?) or when I have commented repeatedly and hear nothing back, not a view nor comment, which is sometimes understandable considering some blogs have thousands of followers etc.. But sometimes, not too.

    Eurgh and yeah - whiney posts! Annoying!

    :) x
     

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  19. I am with you on the Disqus thing.  I couldn't get it to spit out the HTML code I needed! 

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  20. I comment from my iPhone. I hate it when comments get eaten and anything that involves scrolling up and down the page and trying to type.
    And sometimes it's just to hard.
    Suzie/FMIDK

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  21. I wrote about what makes me comment, and what doesn't on my blog a couple of weeks ago!
    I think for everyone it's different, and I know even for me it depends on the mood you catch me in, but it''s a good thing to throw out there. Comments are, and always will be, the best thing I get from blogging. Feedback, conversation, discussion. It doesn't always have to be in agreeance.

    I'm going to throw out there that I *get* the emo thing. I really do. It's why I created my little warning icon, because sometimes, for me personally, I go through patches of dark stuff, and even though I fight blogging about it, once I blog it sometimes seems to lighten the load, or make it all suddenly make sense.
    I do NOT comment on the "no one likes my blog" posts. Ever.
    But I like to try to comment on posts about people going through a hard time, because I see it as a way of reaching out.

    I love disqus, I hate these froms i've seen more and more recently that require you to type in your details every.single.time. if I know your blog has it, I generally don't even bother thinking about a comment. I just read and leave. Make it easy for your readers to comment! (And yes, disqus does this)

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  22. The double whammy captcha and moderation. FFS people it's not MI5 it's a public blog, for public comment and conversation.
    Also having to type in verifications etc on an iPhone is just bloody annoying.

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  23. Your number one reason is mine too.

    I did hate disqus, but it improved greatly after I wrote a post saying I hated it and would never use it....I'm fine with it now.

    #5 well, I'll stick with it a bit, maybe the person is just having a bad day/week/month, but too long and I'll just stop going there.

    I didn't know right-click could be disabled....

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  24. Do you like Disqus? I am considering adding it...

    I am trying to comment more on blogs because I figure comments beget comments. 

    I often don't comment because of time. I read in google reader and I have to really like the post to click on it, to then comment on it, and then find their comment link, and then get through the captcha and then the moderation. Sometimes it is too hard...  so I have to really really love the post, or really really love the person to comment.

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  25. I was going to do (((hugs))) but Liz beat me to it ;)

    I'm not fussed you don't comment in my blog regularly. I know you love me :) And I agree with a lot of what you've written above too, especially the catcha thingy and moderation, that's why I took mine off.

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  26. Couldn't agree with you more about the 'click to comment' link being at the top of the post instead of the bottom. Arggh! Scrolling back up truly is a huge effort!

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  27. Whih Whoo! Love the cranky pants! (that's onomatopoeia for you :o)) I don't get any of the technical things you are talking about - and that may just be my problem!! Love these posts, keep them coming!

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  28. Oh Map Guy. I do hope you'll be wearing your licorice ranty pants when I come over in the wee early hours of Sunday morning to pick up your dearly beloved?

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  29. Hahahahahahaha *snort* I so hate Disqus cause my computer has a hissy fit when I use it - Kinda like it does with Twitter.

    Onomatopeia - had me scratching my head for ages! THANKYOU for linking, cause I missed that post and it was pissing me off not knowing where the hell the word came from or what the hell it meant... because yeah, I couldn't be frigged Googling the meaning... lazy bitch I am.

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  30. I'm not commenting because I'm so time poor lately that the only posts I'm reading are the links I spot on twitter - and then I end up with 20 tabs open before I get distracted elsewhere and forget what I was saying.

    Also, captchas. Also, right click disabled thing.

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  31. I'm not going to comment because too many way more awesome comments are already here and I won't get the attention I so richly deserve.

    Seriously, I don't comment if there's some forced question at the end of the post. It makes me feel cheap.

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  32. A lot of the same reasons you do.
    Or I read it on my phone, I bother to type out a comment and then the stupid thing tells me I need to log in to wp and my comment is deleted. Not being bothered to type it allout again.
    Sometimes I have a bit of a pout and think why bother? They've never commented on mine, which I realise is petty, but hey, that's what happens ;)

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  33. I usually read on my phone through twitter or Facebook and neither attach themselves to my google account so I don't comment unless it's a really good post. Like now.

    Other than that I'm just a lazy bitch.

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  34. So bloomin' with you on the blooming' iPad keyboard... can't stand it!  And I read blogs in bed mostly... but not just  now obviously!!

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  35. Cranky, but true.  Some bloggers get a bit self-centered, when they need to be reminded it's not about them, but their reader.  Absolutely hate the captcha thing!  Disqus confuses me, but I'm not terribly techno-savvy.  That's an "it's not you, it's me" sort of thing. :)

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  36. Hmmm must try Disqus yet again not sure why it didn;t work the first time ??  I have just checked to see if i have com mod on (oopsie) think i do  lol

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  37. Sorry, no comment!

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  38. Just commenting and giving disqus the thumbs up!

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  39. Leanne Shea LangdownNovember 4, 2011 at 5:11 AM

    LOL! That's funny.  You just summed me up to a "T" .... (((hugs)))
    PS I love word verification ...just so I can create definitions for them .... (small minds and all that)

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  40. I'm not commenting because everyone said what I wanted to say.

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  41. In regards to Point #4 - you can hold your finger down on the iPad and it will show a magnifying glass then you can move the curser to where you want to edit
    :)

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  42. YOU ARE A LEGEND! Yes, it required capslock!!! Thanks Andie!

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  43. I don't get Disqus ranting. I like it, find it easy to use.

    Is it just me, or did the use of the term "bloggers crack" right next to the picture of an arse make anyone else giggle?

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  44. It's always the comment posts that get comments yet this has way less than the last one :P

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  45. you will damn well comment on my fucking blog because I sit there and refresh until you do.

    And then when you don't I cry myself to sleep which makes my makeup run and my husband wont sleep with me looking like that.

    Your lack of commenting is ruining my sex life.

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  46. Phone commenting is a bitch. How scrummy does his bum look?!?!

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  47. Hehe they're not necessarily mistakes, just things that annoy me :P I do sooo many things "wrong".

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  48. Plus you could walk in to a pole and have to explain to people how you got the massive black eye

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  49. The neglect of your children is appreciated, Kristen :)

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  50. Disqus haters are EVERYWHERE! *coughwordpressbitchescough*

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  51. I have definitely commented on your posts Cranky! But it has been a while, sorry about that.

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  52. My blog reading moves in cycles so I will have "must reads" for a few weeks or months and then go off them, for no reason other than I've found something else and time is a finite thing.

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  53. I'm allowed to "borrow" images from the websites I use for my review writing job (rather than send images they ask me to take them off their sites) and the amount that have right click disabled shits me... and yet it has NEVER stopped me using their images.

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  54. I have one kid and I know how bloody busy I am, have no idea how people with more cope!

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  55. Yep older posts have to be brilliant or have been on my mind for a long time for me to go and comment late.

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  56. Oh absolutely, Nathalie, a virtual hug, knowing someone is thinking about you, can lift your mood and brighten your day. I just feel like an idiot doing it so tend to write something instead or send them an email.
    Comment moderation on a professional blog is a different story and I think, especially in your case, that it is definitely the way to go! How amazing that you can help so many people.

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  57. Hahaha yep. I'm all for emo but not for phishing.

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  58. Yep, I get ya. I semi-follow two very popular American blogs and I've never ever ever commented because of that.

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  59. If you think it's rude for them to comment you can always turn comments off :) And chocolate giveaways oh my, so many comments the system melts

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  60. #10 people do to try and protect their images from being "saved as" and used elsewhere... it does nothing though because screen captures are still possible.

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  61. Ugh yes! When you have to sign in and it eats the comment is so frustrating!

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  62. Great point, Suzanne, if the topic doesn't interest me I won't even read it let alone comment.

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  63. I slightly exaggerated, I've only ever had two but I'm of the firm belief that it is two too many. Had a half dozen or so on my FB wall being all snarky about it too. WHO CARES? JUST DON"T COMMENT!!

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  64. I have so many rants within me, I foresee they will indeed keep on coming!

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  65. Oh really? I find their help desk people to be really helpful, maybe ask them?

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  66. :( I have no idea on the tech side of things, ask the support guys, they've always been really helpful to me.

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  67. There's quite a few people having that problem, must be so annoying especially if it's something you really want to comment on.

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  68. I'm a terrible reply commenter now - I used to be awesome and would go and comment on every blog, but not everyone links their blog to their Disqus accounts so now half the time I can't tell who is who.

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  69. For sure, there is a massive difference between a bit of an emo post and a self pitying phishing post. My most emo post I turned off comments because I was afraid people thought I was phishing.

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  70. #5 I'm the same, I'll keep reading especially if they're going through a bad time, but when you can tell they're just doing it on purpose I stop trying

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  71. I've never had a problem with Disqus other than when I changed my domain over and a few comments went missing... but the help team got on to it, sorted it out and re-coded some things for me and voila it was fixed.

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  72. I have a Google reader that doesn't let me put any more blogs in so most of the time it's just a time thing. For you I can tell you it's definitely a time thing, I loved all your life as a journo posts and the raunchy ones :P

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  73. It is such a first world problem... but it pisses me off so much!

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  74. I feel a bit jipped when I find an awesome blog that everyone but me seems to know about. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?

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  75. Google is your friend. I learned everything I know from it :)

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  76. I will let him know your request

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  77. Funnily enough Disqus makes Kelley's computer go psycho too, so she had no idea I linked to her

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  78. I'm an open tab whore. At the end of the night half of them are still unread and I just close.

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  79. I always force a question... sorry to make you feel cheap.

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  80. I've just tried the iOS5 split keyboard and it's no easier.

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  81. It's not always about the reader, a lot of bloggers who write just for themselves and are totally not tech-savvy get heaps of comments because their content is provocative and entertaining. So there is no golden rule, it's just that this is what pisses ME off :)

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  82. I HATE comment moderation soooo much!!! :P

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  83. OMG a WP user giving the thumbs up to Disqus? You made me fall off my chair!

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  84. I love it when the word verification matches something in the post or is accidentally rude enough to make immature little old me giggle

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  85. Hahahahaha I didn't even realize but now when I read it back I giggle too!

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  86. But I don't mind because I love you. Oops I've crossed over from tipsy tweeting to tipsy commenting. I'm a hypocrite I ignore my own rules at will.

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  87. My god Glowess, it must take you longer to reply to your comments than it does to write your posts!
    Kudos to you for replying to every one.
    I tryand then I get sidetracked and I remember two weeks later.
    it's a bit easier now I have the wp app on my phone

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  88. I'm a *coughwordpressbitchcough* and I use Disqus! ;)

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  89. NO WAY? How come? It's only every WP users who have yelled at me for it because you guys already have threaded comments. I bow down to you, Elizabeth, and get back in my little hidey hole :P

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  90. *stands up and applauds* You've hit the nail on the head, Elizabeth, it's about engagement and appreciation. Everyone loves even little comments, it's just me who feels like an idiot leaving them :)

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  91. It's not just you!  

    Think of this as a "do as I say, not as I do" comment ;)

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  92. i hear you about the #10. That is my biggest pet peeve. And... this is actually my first time to comment here! :D

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  93. I don't usually comment also because.. 1. I am a little bit shy. 2. same as your number 2. and 3. I usually read blogs on my iPad too and typing on those things really gives me the shits. hehehe... 

    Also, I love Disqus. I think I started using mine after using it on yours and I love how you can reply to each and every single comment that people have left. :)

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  94. Oh all right then, I'm going to turn comment mod off. I have it on for first commenters only and only so that I can catch those cheeky spammys that look like comments but are actually a link to some amazing diet pill site. Sometimes my filter misses them. Love the Map Guys undies. Licorice allsorts=bait.

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  95. Nikki YOU have the best commenting form I have ever seen/interacted with in the blogopshere. I love that I get emails if you reply directly to my comment, and you know that you can reply directly to a comment, and also that the form remembers all my details so I don't have to type it all back in every time I comment.

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  96. Oh, that's great to know, Miss Pink. I was wondering if it was a bit "clunky" but as long as it remembers your details, then that is good! The email reply is a WordPress plugin. I like it because (like Disqus) the commenter gets my reply without having to come back to the site and check whether I have or not!

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  97. I think I might add that disclaimer to the top of my emo posts.
    See for me it's about just putting it out there, maybe opening discussion for others, but generally what others say doesn't help me too deeply, I guess it's more of me needing to get things off my chest.
    But yes, like you, I'm not phishing for comments. More trying to see if it's just my own screwed up-ness or if it's something other people go through too, so i'm not just a demented freak. Lol.

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  98. The reasons I do not comment on your blog posts 1 - 1 million:

    TIME. I do not have it.

    The end.

    (Not that your points aren't good too, naturally - just for me, it's really primarily about disposable minutes and lack thereof)

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  99. I just had to read a bazillion comments to check if anyone had helped you out with point #4. So glad Andie has put you on the right track.

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