Monday, March 28, 2011

Quite a Spectacle

Tonight I got something caught in my contact lenses and ended up with tears streaming out of one, bright red eye. It looked like half my face was either terribly upset or stoned. So the contacts were whipped out (kinda hard when it hurts to open your eyes) and replaced by my glasses.

I don't often where my glasses, even though I love them to bits. Maybe I should wear them more since they're so awesome.

Imagine them with clear lenses, OK?
I totally love that chunky, plakky frames are in fashion. My eyes are so bad that my lenses look like coke bottle bottoms, so some of the dainty wire rims just can't handle the weight. But these babies? These are chuck-a-licious.

Yup, that there is leopard print on the arms. But as far as I'm aware, no animals were harmed in their production so you can call of the PETA intervention.

My whole family wears glasses/contacts. Poor eyesight is just one of the many genetic gifts I was blessed with along with a dose of crazy.

Aunty Penny has worn glasses from age two. So when I reached age three, even though I hadn't been showing signs of poor vision yet, it was decided that I should get tested for the same eye muscle weakness that affects the family... but there was a slight problem.

I flat out refused to open my eyes for the test.

Not actually me, but might as well be

My Mum describes it as one of the most embarrassing moments of her life, but when it's not your kid, it's kinda funny, right?. Karma will get me for laughing at this.

What I found out only recently was that because I stood there, eyes screwed shut, refusing the test, they had to do it another way. My poor Mother had to take me across the city on two buses to Fremantle Hospital where I was anesthetized!

Yep, a three year old knocked out, put under, drugged up for a freakin' eye test!

Aaaaaand what was the result of said eye test? My eyes were fine. I didn't need glasses then. All that effort for nothing (sorry, Mama!).

I didn't get my first pair of glasses until I was 11. I hated them. Actually hate is not strong enough. I loathed them. Detested them. I ordered a pair of brown plastic frames that were hideous but were the nicest ones in the column I was allowed to choose from - none of the in-fashion wire rims were in our budget. But instead of the ugly brown ones, they sent two pairs of the ugly pink ones Aunty Penny chose...

We had matching glasses. Vomit. I am forever scarred.

Do you wear contacts or glasses? Love 'em or hate 'em?

Glowless rocked the Aussie Bloggers Conference thanks to
HealthyChart and Baby Goes Retro and Simply Colors


  1. i need glasses for reading, computer work and driving - i have two beautiful pairs - both rectangle [i have a round face - oh the joys!] a chunky black pair and a gorgeous purple pair.

    i don't wear them as often as i should, though i've started to again recently because my eyes have been hurting - i'm actually booking an eye test this week as it's been over 3 years since i had one done!

    i'm going to get the lenses replaced in the glasses that i already have [if they need it] and am looking at getting another pair as well - something bright and funky!


  2. That's hilarious, or maybe not so, that you would knock a child out to test their eyes? I sometimes wear glasses, I first started wearting them at 16 and those cheap ones were ugly! As soon as I began working I got myself some groovy ones and loved them to bits. Then I began getting prescription designer sunglasses and again loved them to bits, except that I kept losing and/or breaking them.

    After going without glasses for over a year, I went to have my eyes tested, as I felt I needed that desinger sparkle back on my face and it turned out that my eyesight got better! Still bad enough to need prescription lenses though.... I love, love, love my Oakley sunnies!

  3. I wear contacts. Been wearing them since I was 20. I remember complaining to my mom at the age of 15 of poor eye sight but no one believed me! Hehehehe.

  4. I had reading glasses as a kid but I didn't actually need them. Nowadays my eyes are a bit fucked, I don't desperately need glasses but I will. So I'm saving my one off "$20 government glasses" for when I'm blind.

  5. I reckon you look good in glasses. And I was three when I first got glasses (you know, just to embarrass you in the middle of your blog and all).

    And you - you are a little shit. Having to be anaesthetised to have an eye exam, honestly! Your child had better put you through hell! You deserve it! :P

  6. Same same. Gene's suck. My eye sight was so bad I was legally blind. Thank god for laser eye surgery. Goodbye contacts and glasses! Of course, my glasses weren't as tiger-licious as yours.

  7. i have been very fortunate and my eyes have held up well so far - tough staring at a computer for 8+ hours a day for 10 years has not helped matters. In my new job I have to wear plastic safety specs. Very flattering. Not.

  8. Tara@OurWhirlwindAdventuresMarch 28, 2011 at 8:41 PM

    Great post. It made me laugh a lot.!

    I was a brace face child, and prided myself on the fact I never needed glasses to make me even more of an outcast. Bugs Bunny didn't have glasses and since I was reppin' his dentures in Primary School, I am glad I didn't need his goggles.
    I got my braces removed at 13.
    At 14 I went for an eye test.
    Ever so cocky, I felt it was a waste of my parents' and the optometrist's time.
    I vividly remember being told I was long sighted and needed reading glasses.
    I bawled.
    My sister bawled.
    Not out of sympathy.
    She was jealous I was getting glasses and she wasn't.
    I wore them and loved the fact I could see better, but hated that my Maths teacher [who also wore glasses] embarrassed me in front of my class by calling me "four eyes". I know it's stupid, but since my confidence was already shot, I didn't appreciate his remark, and I stopped wearing my glasses.
    He would constantly ask me where they were, and advised me I wasn't making my eyesight better by not wearing them, but I didn't want him to know how much his remark had hurt my feelings. Instead I told him I didn't need them. I was too cool for glasses, and my eyesight was fine, regardless of what some eye quack said!
    I went for another eye test several years later.
    I was informed I had a stygmatism.
    I needed new glasses. I wasn't in school anymore, and my co-workers all commented on how great they looked on me. The compliments freaked me out more than being called "four eyes". I went from being without confidence to people complimenting me. It felt odd, and so I stopped wearing my glasses.
    I am sure that makes no sense.
    I was told my eye sight could become worse when pregnant, and I went for an eye test during both pregnancies only to be told it had not gotten worse, but it hadn't improved. I don't know where my glasses are, I should wear them, but inside I am terrified by the reaction I will get from wearing them. I don't need them for anything other than reading, so contacts aren't an option, but neither is wearing glasses as far as I am concerned.

  9. CRAP! I knew I should have checked my sources! The Mama has always told me 2 - possibly just rounding down to make it seem more dramatic.

  10. I've never really trusted people who wear glasses ;-p

  11. I wear glasses. I figured that, since I have to wear them, I might as well make sure they are not of the "let's pretend that you can't tell I am wearing glasses" variety and I went for a big chunky pair. Now I feel like I look strange without them...although that could be because I am so blurry that I look like I have a third eye...

  12. I am just about legally blind. I wear contacts. I hate wearing glasses. Hate it. I'd love to get lasik!

  13. Amy@New AdventuresMarch 29, 2011 at 4:25 AM

    I'm a qualified optical dispenser, so its my job to help all the kids who need specs to choose a pair that they like ( a struggle sometimes when theyve already decided they hate them! ). I've been wearing glasses since i was 6 but i'm lucky ( now ) - because of my job i know exactly what is in fashion in eyewear, i know what suits my face shape, and i have lovely reps who are happy to give me stuff for free! I have at least 10 pairs, but only 4 of them have the current prescription in them... even though i didnt like them as a kid, i secretly love my "eyewear wardrobe" now!

  14. I am...supposed to wear glasses. I'm short sighted, so only for things like watching TV, reading a chalk board, or driving. All three of those i don't really do (ok the last 2 i don't at all, and if you ever see me driving someday without glasses, get out of the way, because i seriously cannot read street signs until i'm right on top of them). TV? Well i'm ok as long as there aren't any subtitles or things to read.
    I detest my glasses also, but contacts aren't really something i need, especially for the pain they would be. My eyeballs aren't round, instead they're football shaped and so that means i'd need weighted contacts which (recalling this frm my 16year old brain) are more expensive and trickier to put in.
    For someone who only needs glasses part time, they're not worth the effort right now. But yeah, long distance? I'm pretty ridiculously blind.

  15. I have glasses/contacts.... and they cost me way too much since I'm so bad!

  16. oh and I've had torn contact halves stuck in my eye before. Not fun!

  17. Leanne Shea LangdownMarch 29, 2011 at 10:23 AM

    Sorry, but I'm laughing.
    I wear glasses for reading and computer work. I love them! They make me feel very posh and clever ... sometimes I'll wear them at a meeting just to look all business like! Shhh, don't tell anyone ...

  18. I've worn glasses since I was 21. I can't wear contacts beause my eyes are so sensitive they water badly when anything is in them Apparently I passed all the annual school checkups because they check for short sightedness, so my crossed vision and longsightedness wasn't picked up until a proper examination after my second baby was 6 months old and I had a headache that wouldn't go away. I love my glasses.

  19. That's a funny story you got there. My daughter Anya wears them and it's frustrating to make her wear them. Plus it always get broken at school. Her recent one got twisted just a few days after purchase. I refused to get her a new one as it still works somehow anyway (bad parent yeah!)


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