Monday, January 21, 2013

The blog post to break the blog break

OHAI! Fancy seeing you here! Long time no see. Or write. Or read. Whatever.

It has been a while, indeed. I gave myself a lovely bloggy break over Christmas and New Year and if I'm completely honest I Loved the time off. See that? Capital L, Loved. I adore blogging but I also really enjoyed living in the moment without the constant ticking over of my brain thinking "I could totally blog the crap outta this". It was all Zen and shit.

But how exactly does one come back from an extended blog break? And yes, I consider a month extended because the blogosphere moves so damn quick if you blink you've missed 300,000 posts and your Google Reader is bursting at the seams.

There are just so many strings of stories running through my head from the last month that they're all jumbling up together and looking like a failed Cat's Cradle that is in dire need of being cut off your fingers because they're starting to turn purple.

Maybe I should tell you about the pest inspector man who came and out of nowhere started banging on about how religious people were ruining the world and how I should really start hitting Tricks if I wanted him to grow up right? What, right like you, pal? Errmmm no.

Or maybe I should mention that on Boxing Day we went out to Map Guy's Aunty and Uncle's farm and we all got to have a go in a gigantic bloody harvester? I could even tell you how we actually had to jump-start it from the Land Cruiser first because it had a flat battery and how I never in my wildest dreams ever imagined jump starting a machine that could have cut us all up so fast it would put Dexter to shame.

But that just won't do. Even a giant mofo harvester is not big enough to break a blog break.

So instead, I'll cut to the chase and mention that I've been really sick. I've been spending a lot of time in bed over the last month and even more time with my head hung over a toilet bowl calling for Ruth. Because I'm in The John Hurt Way again.


Yep, my friends, that is how you come back from a blog break with a bang.

Spawn2.0 is currently taking up prime uterine real estate at this very moment and causing this Mama to be sucking back on Maxolon like they're orange flavoured Tic Tacs. Sadly they've done almost nothing for me and I spend most of my days wallowing in self pity and complaining to Map Guy that it is cruel and unusual punishment to be starving hungry and aversive to food all at the same time all the while clutching my spew bucket. Classy.

Cletus the Fetus has already managed to give us a scare with a suspected ectopic, on my bloody birthday no less (yeah remember that appendix thing on Facebook? Yeah, that was a fabulous night). On a side note, you go straight to the front of the triage list and personally escorted to a private nook of the emergency room and filled with tubes if you rock up preggers with a pain in your side, a previous ectopic on your file and only one fallopian tube.

We were going to wait until the obligatory 12/13 weeks but I am terrible at keeping my own secrets (tell me yours and I'll take 'em to the grave, but mine? BLABBERMOUTH!). It turns out Map Guy is terrible at keeping secrets too, because at work when he announced it on Friday half the office knew already after he'd blurted it out after a few drinks at the office Christmas party.

It truly has been the worst kept secret. Half the Perth Blogging scene had a suspicion when I wasn't drinking at the W.O.M.B.A.T. Chrissie shin dig because hello, free drinks. I had to tell my work early on because it's caused my chronic pain condition to flare uncontrollably and I'm unable to stand up for a whole shift any more without the need for major drugs and a weeklong stay in bed.

But despite my body not doing the whole hormone thing too well, I'm happy. And when Tricks rubs my belly and leans in to kiss the baby I'm deliriously happy. He says it's a boy and it's name should be Spotty Dog or Tractor.

So it does appear that 2013 will be a big year. I can't wait and I'm shit scared at the same time.

But what I want to know, what I've always wanted to know, is WHERE'S MY FUCKING GLOW? 

78 comments:

  1. OMG!! Congrats hun!! So happy for you xx

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  2. OMG huge news!!! Congratulations <3 (secretly jealous that my 3yo will never be a big sister, Shhh.. don't tell ;) ) Congrats, congrats, congrats... thrilled for you xoxoxo... (how many xo's is tooo many?)

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  3. Holy Bombshell Batman! Congratulations! What amazing news. That's most definitely a way to break the blogging drought.

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  4. Now THAT is how you return from blogging hiatus. Congratulations lovey, may the endless nausea fuck off asap xx

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  5. Finally it has loaded. Damn 3G. And my suspicions were correct. Congrats Glow. Hope you have a trouble free pregnancy. I'm so excited I love new bubba's.

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  6. Jane @ Hesitant HousewifeJanuary 21, 2013 at 9:09 AM

    Congratulations!!! Fabulous news :) And, if it's a boy, I think you should go with Spotty Dog, personally. xx

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  7. Haha thanks Katie, your secret is safe with me! And no such thing as too many xo's!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo see?

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  8. Ya huh! Gotta come back with a bit of a bang!

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  9. Massive congratulations!! You know I did wonder when you tweeted about not drinking on a boat trip because of sea sickness. I used that as an excuse when I had to attend a wedding while I was preggers with G. Morning sickness is the worst. Hope you start feeling better soon xx

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  10. Oh gawd I hope so. Not really sustainable weight loss and my pants are starting to fall off!

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  11. Thanks, Salz! I'm a bundle of mixed emotions :D

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  12. One vote for Spotty Dog. I shall keep a tally xxx

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  13. Congrats Glow. That is amazing news. Xxxxxx

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  14. I actually DID have sea sickness but yeah, wasn't going to be drinking any way. Every time I get on a boat people ask if I'm pregnant because I get sick on a mill pond! xxx

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  15. Tractor. I love it!

    Congratulations, missus!

    Also, pest control man. Wtf?

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  16. congratulations - and you will one day have people tell you how "glowing" you are. for the moment you and @doingmybestK can hold each other's hair back.

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  17. What lovely, wonderful news! Congrats to you all. xxxxx

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  18. oh, Tractor. It's nice, it's different, it's unusual ;) Seriously though, congratulations! Welcome to the club. I have the opposite problem, that eating is the only thing that stops me feeling sick...guess that's why I was back in maternity jeans at about 12 weeks. Hope you find your glow soon! xx

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  19. Congratulations!!! oh and I didn't even think twice when you weren't drinking at the Christmas party ;) Oh I'm such a liar! xx

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  20. Hehe! It is bloody obvious for a gal like me!! xxx

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  21. I'm either eating ALL THE THINGS or nothing at all. A happy medium would be nice :) Only a couple weeks behind you, Abby, congrats to you too x

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  22. I never go the glow last time, so I won't hold my breath :D

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  23. I know right? Pest control man was a douche and a half.

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  24. Oh babe!!! CONGRATS! And August baby huh? Just quietly the very people in the world are born on August 16th ;)

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  25. Amazing news gorgeous! Tractor = Tracky for short?

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  26. brilliant post and awesome news! congratulations xx

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  27. Congratulations. I hope you get over the morning aka all day sickness soon.

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  28. Good on you for having a break. I bet it felt awesome. Rachel x

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  29. Whoa! If there was an Academy Award for best-return-post-after-blog-break, I think you'd take it out! Big congratulations!

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  30. Congratulations Glow, that's brilliant news. Well not the puking bit. Maxalon was also an old ineffective friend of mine. Hope you're feeling better soon :)

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  31. Congratulations to you all! LLove the post (with two LLs) so full of joy xo

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  32. The best news! Congratulations x

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  33. HOORAY! Many Congratulations! Couldn't comment until I chose the appropriate browser!!! Catch up when your feeling better xxxx

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  34. Love a pregnancy announcement. Congratulations Glow. xx

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  35. Holy shit! Congratulations, beautiful woman!! Bloody tops news .... and you glow. You always glow xx

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  36. Wow, congratulations!!!! x

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  37. Awesome news congratulations! And Tricky is just so dam adorable :) xx

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  38. Definitely. Or I can just bring a spew bucket. xxx

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  39. I aim for August 16th then! (EDD is 18th)

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  40. Such amazing news! Welcome to the 2013 pregnancy club :)

    Ps Have an August bub and they are wild & wonderful and will rock your world xx

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  41. Oh yay!! Another baby!! Even in blogland where I don't even "know" the person I always wonder if people with one little one are going to have another! Hope you can leave the spew bucket before too long - I realise how bloody lucky I was with both my pregnancies not to have that element of morning sickness. Congratulations!!

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  42. Has to come here too didn't I! Love this news but I couldn't endure what your poor all day sickness mamas go through .. And to think last week you were unwell at mum & dads.. And I "fell" for that ..it was bub ha! Sooooo I am such a good friend you could handle this little old wives tale right? More morning/all day sickness = a girl.. Take or leave my theory. Just sayin! My DIL having 3rd baby ( Mr H is 5 & off to school & Miss R is 3) in late June. I know so many preggers people I love this !! D xxxx

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  43. And BAM just like that your back congrats hope you feel better soon xo

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  44. Oh my gosh what a great way to come back! I've been stalking your page everyday to see if you were back *shifty eyes*, congratulations to you and your family :)

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  45. Kelley @ magnetoboldtooJanuary 22, 2013 at 4:44 PM

    I am bitterly disappointed that no one has said 'Where's your glow? I got your glow right here baby...' but then again they were probably waiting for me to say it.

    BTW it took me 15 minutes on my piece of shit computer to say this. And it is not nearly as funny as it was 14 minutes ago.

    Also I KNEW BEFORE ALL YOU BITCHES!

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  46. Fantastic news! So happy for you. And who cares whether you're glowing or not, you are fabulous in any state xx

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  47. Congratulations! Amazing news.

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  48. You were the second person to know. Map Guy trumps you, but as the father, he kinda should :) xxx

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  49. This is a stalker friendly zone, Steph :) Thanks x

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  50. Thanks, Simmo! I'm holding on to my bucket for dear life, I think I might get crafty with it :D

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  51. Thanks, Mary! I had mild morning sickness last time, I wasn't prepared for it to be soooo different!

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  52. Kelley @ magnetoboldtooJanuary 22, 2013 at 8:25 PM

    is Map Guy one of my biatches? SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR YOU!

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  53. Congratulations! That is bloody brilliant news and the ultimate way to come back from a break with a bang lol I hope you find that freaking glow hun - but can I tell you, your nails look pretty damn good! x

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  56. And I knew before you announced it!!! Woot woot! Am I special or what??? Oh yeah, that's right. It's about Spawn2.0 and NOT me. Got it.
    Love your work, Glowy! Congrats to you, Map Guy and the gorgeous Trickmeister! xxx

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  57. Thanks, Sonia! My special Christmas nails :)

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  58. That's because you're in the Super Secret Squirrel Club :) xxx

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  59. I just squee'd for you... for reals! How very exciting for you all! #Congratulations I have a few baby hats I've just made... Shall I send you a lil present!? #Ithinkyes :)

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