Showing posts with label Blogopolis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blogopolis. Show all posts

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Natural Transition - Plus FREE Hugalugs!

I have said before that I'm a daisy chain away from being a full blown hippy what with my drug free birthing, breastfeeding, home cookin' shenanigans. I embrace my inner Crunchy Mama and for the purposes of wearing that crown, ignore all the meat and processed food I eat.

So when Julie from Natural Transition kindly offered to help me get to Blogopolis I thought it was a really good fit since her site is a resource for all things natural pregnancy and birth related. I actually offered to get a Natural Transition tattoo on my forehead for the conference yet strangely enough Julie declined. Can you believe it? Weird.

Julie is a Sydney based naturopath, breastfeeding counsellor and natural fertility consultant and her Natural Transition website is an amazing resource full of information on everything baby related; from fertility, pregnancy, birth to breastfeeding and more... and it's all FREE! And we know how much I like free things.

Julie is obviously doing something right because she's a finalist in the Bio-Oil Ausmumpreneur awards in the Eco Friendly Business category for her Natural Transition shop and in the People's Choice Best Blog category. The first one is judged by a panel interview (aargh!!) but the second one is a vote, so if you've got a tick, you can go here and click the pink like button down the bottom.

I checked out the shop and here are a few things that I wanna get my hands on:

I used reusable nursing pads when Tricky was feeding round the clock and I was on Dairy Duties, but they were plain and boring pastel colours. I wish I had these! Hooters for your hooters! Huzzah!
Cheeky Bits Boutique Nursing Pads $8.00
I'm a massive babywearing advocate and I own three different types of carriers. The one that I used the most was my Hug-A-Bub. But I want a black one so I can wear it clubbing I can mix and match with my outfits because I'm terribly vain!

Black Hug-A-Bub $125.00
Now this I have just ordered. Nappy bucket deodorizers! We've been cloth nappying for 14 months now, you'd think I would have learned to hold my breath when I open the bucket. Even washing daily as I do, the ammonia smacks you in the face when you open the bucket. These babies are bamboo charcoal and absorb odours!
Pure Bamboo Nappy Bucket Deodorizer $7.95

I was a skeptic of baby legwarmers until I was given a pair recently and now I love them. They're really funky and a great way of showing off Tricky's awesome cloth nappies too! These are so freakin cool but I can't choose between skull and cross bones and stripey. Hrm bad ass or rainbow child?.


Hugalugs Leg Huggers $10.00 or FREE with a GlowJob!

If you need anything fertility, pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding or mamahood related, be it advice, information or a product, then head over and check out Natural Transition. Right now she's offering a FREE pair of Hugalugs legwarmers with any purchase if you mention GLOWJOB at the checkout. You even get to choose what design you want, how cool is that?

So head over now and grab something for yourself or for a friend.

Monday, August 8, 2011

How To Create a Kick Ass Media Kit that Glows

Oh hello, fancy seeing you here. Are you here for the all the boob and lady parts talk? No? Oh right, maybe the post where I rant about dickhead doctors or my boy's wonky noggin? Hrmm not that either? OK how about the schmaltzy posts that are obviously written when I'm high on hormones? Wow not that either! Oooh I know why you're here. The kick ass media kit!

If you were at Blogopolis or were following #nnb2011 you might have heard that Andrew Hughes of Reprise Media mentioned that I had a good media kit. He went as far as saying it was better than some of the professional ones he's seen. Woah. That's one hell of a compliment, I had no idea it was coming and it left me blushing (though I was also having an allergic reaction to seafood at the time so maybe it was just that).

If I hadn't been sucking down on antihistamines I would have taken a screen capture of all the tweets that followed and stuck it on my mirror instead of those "You're a wonderful, worthy person" post it notes that are meant to send you down the path of enlightenment. Because a wall of Tweets from other people saying you rock absolutely kicks "Live each day to the fullest" to the kerb.

My inbox has been jam packed full of requests to see it ever since. I have shared my media kit, sponsorship request letters and the like with lots of Bloggers before because it's only fair I pass on the knowledge that was shared with me when I was starting out.

So here we go... this won't be what you're expecting...
Why yes that IS my award smack bang in the centre
so you know right away I'm awesome!
There was one person who was amazingly helpful when I first started looking for sponsorship, who sent me her kit and then looked over mine when I'd put only the smallest of personal touches on it (like my then follower count of 82). That woman is Tina Gray from TinaGray{dot}Me and the PR Friendly Aussie Blog Directory.

It's been about a year since Tina looked over my kit and gave it a nod of approval. In that time it has changed a lot and morphed in to something that is truly my own. The flesh is different but the bones of it? Well they are still the same and it would be dishonest of me to claim that I am some fancy pants media kit creator when it was her framework that I built upon.

Now I bet you weren't expecting an attention whore like me to say that, were you?

I encourage you all to check out Tina's eBook about how to create a media kit and then build on it so that you end up with a finished product that reflects you and your blog.

All I can add was the feedback I received from Andrew about why he liked it. He said I "communicate all of the important things that I needed to know quickly and up front – then all of the detail was there If I wanted".

In my now infamous kit I have all the important stuff on the front page including:
  • a section about my blog written in my usual "blog voice" so up front you know I'm rather tongue-in-cheek. I will admit this less than professional tone could lose me some business, but I want a company to know what I'm like
  • a section about me, also written in my usual "blog voice"
  • a section about my audience demographics and level of reader engagement in a more professional tone (well as professional as someone like me can get)
  • a section about why a company should choose to go with me as a Mummy Blogger
  • a table with all my stats and where they came from 
Yep, all of that one ONE PAGE. If you can't fit that all on one page you're saying too much. If a company likes what they see there, they can flip over and read more. If you make them go searching through a massive kit for the information they need, chances are they'll pop you in the 'too hard basket'.

Over the next five pages (ya-huh, it's loooong!) I have:
  • links to the websites I've been featured on and a list of the magazines I've been featured in
  • a list of the awards I've won (OK so it was only one but it totally deserves a section)
  • a testimony page showing reader engagement and praise for my sarcasm writing 
  • terms and conditions of running a review/giveaway/sponsored post and links to examples of each
  • sponsorship packages currently available and a summary of previous ones
  • advertising rates and payment options
  • contact details
So there you have it. Anticlimactic much?

I wanna say a massive thank you to everyone who linked to me in their Blogopolis wrap ups and of course to Andrew for mentioning me in the first place. My site stats have jumped about 25% because of it and it's both  completely awesome and overwhelming at the same time. My ego is so freakin big right now that I'm needing a neck brace to support my fat head. So, um, in closing, if you're a blogger, go make your Media Kit Glow. If you're a company... you should totally sponsor me to go to BlogHer12 with Zoey and Louisa.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

The Perfect Gift Guide

This is a sponsored post. Writing it got me on a plane home from Blogopolis. A plane I almost missed.

I am obsessed with finding The Perfect Gift. I am really easy to buy for, give me something shiny and I'll love you forever, and since I always get such amazing gifts I strive to give back at the same level. 

There are three elements to consider when purchasing The Perfect Gift:

1) It has to be thoughtful - just grabbing anything because it's the day before the birthday or Christmas Eve doesn't cut it. You need to prepare in advance. Start thinking about Christmas now.

2) It has to be useful/wanted - don't buy something that you want them to use but that they would hate, especially if you're only doing it so that they'll let you use it. This includes all domestic appliances, anything BBQ related, and car cleaning equipment. This is of course null and void if they have specifically asked for it.

3) It has to be cheap - wait, that's not what you expected was it? Well this is, after all, my guide to The Perfect Gift, and we all know I'm cheap. If it makes you feel better, say "value for money" and be snooty. 

For your convenience I've created an awesome Venn Diagram that will help you understand The Perfect Gift guidelines:

You're welcome.

Now there is one thing that I have come across that sits smack, bang in the middle, in Holy Grail territory... a gift subscription from Mag Shop!

For the past four years Map Guy has been the recipient of a Wheels Magazine subscription because he is a bogan  rev head... but I could find a mag to suit every member of my family.

Mum - Woman's Day, Dad - Choice Magazine, Aunty Penny - Take 5, MIL - Burke's Backyard, FIL - 4x4 Australia, SIL - Rolling Stone, BIL - FHM. 

And because they keep getting a present weekly or monthly, it makes you look really good. Just think about it, you've had a bit of a tiff with your hubby and then the next day his copy of Inside Sport arrives and voila! all is forgiven. 

Are you a magazine fiend? Do you subscribe or head to the shops each month to grab your mags?

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Hi, Chair! - Boomer Highchair Review

In the spirit of full disclosure, this post is part of my sponsorship to attend Blogopolis. I would love it if you could read it. 

When we were buying everything in preparation for Tricky to enter this world I gave myself a $1000 budget to get everything. Cot, change table, baby clothes for a year, pram, car seat and even my own maternity clothes (I failed at this task, but scraped in at just under $2K).

When we got Tricky's highchair it didn't break the bank... we spent a whopping $7.50 on a second hand one from the Baby & Kids Markets - it was one of those moulded plastic jobbies from that Swedish place known for allen keys and meatballs. I didn't see the point in spending a fortune on something that would be used for less than 12 months before he was sitting up at the table anyway.

Now the Boomer Highchair is considerably more expensive than $7.50... but it's also going to last considerably longer than a year. You're looking at fifteen years of use. FIFTEEN! 15! Possibly even more because the Boomer grows with your munchkin from a first solids high chair to booster chair to dining chair, see:


It's European influenced so it's like the BMWof highchairs; well engineered, functional and funky, but it's Australian designed so it's like a Holden too; easy to use, long lasting and durable.

The Boomer ticks a couple of important boxes too: it's made from plantation rubber wood so it's eco friendly and because of the foot platform it encourages good posture.

There's an optional five point harness available if your child is a daredevil and likes to launch himself from furniture like Tricky does. Strapping him in will be necessary until he develops a sense of danger (either of falling or being yelled at).


One thing Tricky didn't like about the chair was how sturdy it was. The kid likes to push furniture around and has done so at every opportunity since he could coast along (he's practising his furniture removal skills at nine months old in this video). As a result my floors will not be worn down with the incessant scraaaaape, a rather unexpected bonus!

But what I really like about the Boomer is that it is easy to clean (just a quick wipe, no grooves for food to get caught in) and it gets kids at the table for mealtimes and gives them the opportunity to learn about how meal times work to encourage good habits young!

If you want to get your hands on a Boomer Highchair they are available at selected children's boutiques or you can go straight to the source and buy one online. They are currently retailing at the introductory price of $199.95 (plus $25 flat rate postage) which makes it about $13 per year of use! After that they'll be around $290 so jump in quick to grab a bargain and tell Piccolo Innovations that Glowless sent you!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

My Mars Bar Angel and Other Assorted Angels

Yesterday I mentioned in my wrap up of Blogopolis that I nearly missed my flight home. It meant I had a Full. Blown. Panic. Attack. I haven't had one in years and was completely floored by how intense it was and I was so embarrassed  So naturally I'm posting it on the blog:
___ . . . ___ . . . ___

I hate it when people are late for a flight. I've always wondered what they could be doing that is so important that they have to run to the check in counter five minutes before the flight closes all puffed and red faced. Apparently shopping for a cheap pair of ballet flats to soothe your tired swollen feet is one of those really important things *ahem*.

I was shoe shopping with who else but Kelley from Magneto Bold Too and checked my watch. Just after 10:00am. Perfect, I'll grab the shoes, walk back to the hotel and then catch the SkyBus. No problemo. Then Shae comes in and asked me did I realize it was 12:10pm? And didn't my flight leave at 1:30pm? Right, so I didn't adjust my watch for the time difference. Clever. My Time Keeper Angel, your awesome ability to look at a watch correctly, an ability I obviously don't have, put all this in to motion. I would have been hours late if not for you, thank you so much.

I kept my cool and casually asked if Toushka would mind driving me to the airport. Or at least that's what I should have done... Instead I panicked and many expletives were forthcoming.

As our group (Shae, Toushka, Fi, Kelley and her daughter Moo who had joined us for breakfast) quickly made our way back from Bourke St to our hotel on Lonsdale St to grab my bags I was barely holding it together. I swung from hyperactive giggling to body numbing anxiety.

I grabbed my bags when we got there and it was time to say goodbye. I clung to Kelley, my protector over the whole weekend (over a few months now actually) and sobbed. I wanted to stay there, wrapped in her arms for hours. The woman knows me back to front, inside and out, better than I know myself, and she has a way of making everything all better... and we've only physically met twice. My Mama Angel, you have calmed my anxiety this past weekend better than any medication could with your warmth, care and understanding. I cannot articulate how much you mean to me, thank you.

But there was no time for prolonged goodbyes so I jumped in the car with rally championship driver Toushka and navigator Fi. We somehow survived Melbourne traffic. What the fuck is with all that weird lane stuff near the hospital? I suppose the roads department in all their infinite wisdom put it near the hospital so when everyone crashes they don't have far to go. We got the airport just in time. My Driver Angel, the pathetic $10 I had on me that I stuffed in your drink holder as thanks is no where near enough. You have my eternal devotion and I will sponsor your car at the next Rally Australia.

We pulled up to the terminal and Fi and I jumped out and I started to hyperventilate. My eyes wouldn't focus and I couldn't even see where I was meant to go... I couldn't even distinguish the bloody colour differences of the desks to know which was which. Fi pointed and we rushed forward. I opened my mouth and only a choking sound came out; I couldn't even form words so she spoke for me.

Image Credit
With under two minutes left on the clock I was checked in. And only then did she leave my side to run back to Toushka waiting in the car. My Check In Angel, you have my eternal gratitude. If you hadn't insisted on running inside with me, carrying my massive bloody bag, I would have gotten as far as the front doors and crumpled. Thank you so much.

I ran to the gate. Even though I was checked in, I just had to get there and see for myself that the plane had not left without me. I don't run. Especially not after a night of dancing in heels and when there are no pain meds. The pain was intense and I was still hyperventilating so I sat down by the gate and tried to calm down a bit. The vending machine called to me, because when the shit hits the fan, chocolate fixes everything, right?

I put my money in, the little thing twirled around and I thought to myself if that bastard Mars Bar doesn't drop down I might as well just die on the spot because I cannot handle one more thing going wrong... and whaddya know, that fucker didn't move an inch. The tears pricked at my eyes again; I was crying over a bloody chocolate.

A young woman sitting nearby saw it happen and gave me one of those soft, sorry smiles, and I wanted to shrug, smile back and flippantly say "just one of those days" but instead my face crumpled and I pathetically lost the fight against the tears that had been welling in my eyes and they slid silently down my red cheeks.

A grown woman sitting in the airport getting upset over the loss of her last $3 and a stupid snack. I buried myself down in to my jacket and started playing with my phone, embarrassed the woman, this stranger, had seen me cry.

And then, a few minutes later she walked over to me, smiled and handed me a Mars Bar.

I completely lost it. I cried giant heaving sobs and when I tried to say thank you, no words would come out. They got stuck in my throat only emerged as a squeak.

Everyone was staring. I started hyperventilating again and the room spun.

When I had managed to calm down (from banshee like wailing to just normal tears) a little while later, I went over and thanked her and told her I would write about her.

So, Lauren, my Mars Bar Angel, if you ever read this, I cannot thank you enough. You have restored my faith in the kindness of strangers and lifted my spirits at a moment when I needed it most. You have given me so much more than an overpriced chocolate bar. You have reminded me, with your confidence to walk over in front of a room full of strangers to hand the crazy crying woman a Mars Bar, that there is good in the world. Thank you. Thank you so very, very much. 

Monday, August 1, 2011

The Highs and Lows of Blogopolis

There are so many things that happened this weekend that I cannot talk about. I have been sworn to silence.

Therefore the drunken shenanigans, the pashes goodbye, the table top dancing, the questionable photos, the massive overshares and abundance of euphemisms will go with me to the grave. However it is safe to say that when a bunch of people who don't get out often get a night of free drinks, they rock on. HARD.

Instead I can only spill the goss on myself, so here's the highs and lows of my weekend, in no particular order:

The Lows: 
  • Being shown a photo of sexay Veggie Mamma and StMurphy and saying I was his biggest stalker, only to find out he was standing right next to me when I said it. The embarrassment knew no end and I wanted to slink away unnoticed. However I got to meet him and now I love him even more cos he's a dirty bitch, just like me, so this one is actually a high.
  • Getting my hand stuck in a tram door on the way to the hotel and not being able to get it out until the next stop. I remained calm but the woman next to me started panicking that my finger was broken. I was half an hour late for my meeting because I was icing my poor, swollen hand.
  • Taking a bite of pizza at lunch without realizing it had mussels on it, that I’m a little bit allergic to – my tongue and throat started swelling! I took full advantage of the hashtag and live Twitter feed and put out the call for antihistamines which was retweeted long after the anti histamines were found (thanks Kate and Twitchy!). It was slightly overshadowed by Fi seeing the tweet and thinking I had asked for amphetamines.
  • Throwing up on the morning of the conference after only having four drinks the night before. I'm assuming it was a combination of six hours sleep over the previous 48 hours, no food in my belly, and a sleeping tablet. When asked by the gorgeous photographer Fi what I could possibly be throwing up, knowing I hadn't eaten or drunk much, I replied that I was throwing up my soul... and it got Tweeted. Bitches.
  • Almost missing my plane home. There is an entire blog post for that, full of tears and tantrums.
  • My boobs tingling and leaking whilst holding Veggie Baby, Squishy, and when in the car with Kate's BabyGirl after Kate kidnapped me. I developed a major case of Stockholm Syndrome though, so it's OK. 
The Highs
  • Blushing when Andrew Hughes of Reprise Media mentioned me as having a better media kit that some of the professional ones they see and having a massive head swell seeing my name explode over the Twitter feed screens and trending according to TrendsMap (the post on the media kit will be coming soon!)
  • Receiving the best backhanded compliment I've ever gotten from the amazing Lizosaurus when she called me "annoyingly stylish". It will now be my tag line. Glowless; annoyingly stylish. I would look much more stylish wearing one of these tshirts though, but Liz, I'm not wearing a bloody cat hat, no matter how freakin cute you looked in it.
  • Deepening my Blogger crush on Nicole Avery as I listened to her speak at the Blogger's Brunch and at the conference, and as I danced the night away with her at the post drinks. That woman really knows how to let her hair down.
  • Going up to Pro Blogger and boldly introducing myself as the chick with the kick ass media kit and asking him to pose for a photo, thus making him late to get the stage.
  • Singing sound of music songs with Lynda at post drinks. None of this crap current top 40 music for us, we went straight to the classics. Singing So Long, Farwell when she left was one of the best bits of the whole night.
  • Sharing an apartment at the Oaks on Lonsdale (who have the most fabulous staff, one who even loaned me his iPhone to access my bank account when my card was rejected) with some of the funniest, most amazing women I've ever met, who saved me on more than one occasion. Kelley, Shae and Toushka are totes my BFFs.
It's time for a montage, even Rocky had a montage! None of the images are edited so you can watch my fall from grace as the weekend (and more specifically the post drinks night) wears on.



Thursday, July 28, 2011

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Blogopolis Edition

Aaaah! It's here!! It's Blogopolis this weekend!!! Must have more exclamation marks!!!!!



Now this post has gone live on Thursday night (but FlogYoBlog Thursday doesn't have the same ring to it) because I'm about to leave for the airport to go to Melbourne for a fun filled weekend.

I'm pumped and ready to go, but I'm not guaranteeing I'll stay that way because I don't normally sleep on planes and don't have any proper warm jackets... so I might be tired, cold and cranky by the time I get there.

If you're going to be there, please come and say hi to me, I don't bite but I do give great Glow Jobs (is that trending yet, Tweeps?). If you don't know which one I am, look for the two girls drunkenly singing Sound of Music songs at the after party and I'll be one of them.

If you're not attending and are a little bit sick of hearing about it all, then scroll down and start Flogging!



The Rules
(As stolen from Lori, thus making Baby Jesus cry... sorry)
  1. Follow Where's My Glow? 
  2. Bow down at the alter of Mummy Time; Blog-goddess, all round groovy gal and creator of FYBF
  3. Grab the FYBF button and post it on your sidebar or in the post you're linking up
  4. Link in your favourite/best post from the week (don't just put your homepage URL)
  5. Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger (Be nice and spread the comment love)
  6. The list will be open for linkyers on Fridays (and for the foreigners Friday as well)
  7. A new and fresh linky list will open every Friday. And you will have to link up AGAIN. The previous link list does not carry over to the following week
  8. Because I live in Dullsville Perth the list will open around 7am AWST - I'm not getting up at 5am and the last time I scheduled a post it didn't work.
FYBF
Yep, this has gone up early because I'll be attempting to check in to my hotel when this should go up. It will stay open til the usual time to allow time for our lovely overseas visitors to link up.


get the InLinkz code

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

To Wean or Not To Wean, That Is The Question

I haven't been sleeping. For about a week now I've managed to get only two - three hours a night thanks to my brain refusing to shut up. So when I couldn't sleep I wrote...
___ . . . ___ . . . ___

It's 11:22pm and I have to be up in six hours. But I can't sleep. My mind will not be quiet, my muscles will not relax.

The anxiety burns inside my chest and I lean over to Map Guy and tell him "My heart hurts". He knows what I mean.

He snuggles me close and offers words of comfort, asks me what I'm anxious about.

I rattle off a few things, most of which revolve around going to Blogopolis. I'm not anxious about meeting people this time (well not much), I'm losing sleep over the 3000 little things I need to do before Thursday. But the big one, the thought that has created a two week tension headache, is whether Tricky will wean while I'm away.

It's so late by the time I finish talking, only a few minutes later, he's fast asleep. Bastard. I wish I could slip away in to dreamland that easily.

At the moment Tricky and I have our special milky cuddles twice a day. My bookend baby takes relatively little milk, but what he gets instead is attentive, (mostly) quiet bonding time. Just he and I, our bodies warm against each other, drinking in each other's scent.

Chubby star fish hands grab all over me (Where's Mama's nose, Tricky?) and clench my shirt as if he's holding on for dear life. He'll look up at me and smile, giggle, then bury himself back in, not once dropping the nipple.


We've had a pretty good run with the whole breastfeeding caper. We did have some issues early on that saw me noticeably tense with dread when it was time for the next hourly feed. I would grit my teeth and feed him with tears rolling down my face thanks to the stabbing white hot razor blades of a staph infection.

But within a few months it all settled down... and it was something I could do anywhere, any time. Feed him; nurture him; comfort him instantly. It became something I could do well, and over some dark days the thought that I was actually good at something for once, buoyed me.

So how will I feel if my three days away sees him wean, perhaps a bit sooner than he was ready? I'm not sure. I know we've had a great run (almost 14 months) and that anything now is just icing on the cake... but still... still there is the feeling that I'm forcing him.

I apologise in advance to those going to Blogopolis... a lovely hormone shift awaits me and I don't know how I'll handle it.

When did your baby wean from the breast? How did you handle the hormone shift? Or didn't you notice it?

Monday, July 18, 2011

Blogopolis, Here I Come!!

Remember this sign???
Well, after a bit of emailing, a coffee at a local cafe, and a bit more emailing I'm happy to announce that Piccolo Innovations have come on board as my Blogopolis sponsor!

Piccolo Innovations is a new WA based company run by Morna Frankowiak. This woman is amazing.

Morna is a single mum of two teenage boys, works full time and is now running her own business. And if that's not busy enough, she wasn't entirely fulfilled with her work so she's also just about to complete her degree in nursing for a mid-life career change!

To fit everything she does in to one day I'd need a nanny, a cook, a cleaner, a personal assistant and a chauffeur.

The product that has just been launched is the European influenced, Australian designed Boomer Highchair. A funky chair that grows with your child. Tricky has been putting it through it's paces for the last week and there will be a proper review very shortly, but I can tell you now, it rocks (not physically, it's very secure!).

For now I want to say a massive WELCOME to Piccolo Innovations!  I'd love it if you could check out their great products at their website and like them on Facebook, just to show some support to the people who support Bloggers!
Multi talented, I made this gif!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Fag Hag

This is a sponsored post. Writing it gets me on a plane to Melbourne for Blogopolis.

I had my first cigarette when I was 14. I thought I was so cool, sitting alone at the bus stop before school, having half a puff of the mildest cigarette ever made and coughing my severely asthmatic lungs up to the point where my eyes watered. It doesn't get much cooler than that, right? How were the boys not falling over themselves to get to me?

Afraid my dirty little secret would be found out, I would shove an entire packet of mints in my mouth and douse myself with deodorant just as the bus pulled up. Instead of smelling like a stinky ashtray, I smelled like a stinky ashtray dipped in mint and berries. My apologies to the bus driver, who nearly choked one morning after a particularly thorough dousing.

I didn't really touch them again until I was 18, when I became a Friday night Fag Hag (smoking an entire packet on the one and only night a week that you smoke) and I only graduated to full blown smoker when I went through a bit of a crisis. Or rather, crises.

I ended up smoking an entire pack a day. 30 cigarettes, in 18 waking hours. Every. Single. Day.

Like many youngens, I wasn't concerned with the health effects. Which is really surprising since it was my constant whingeing and nagging insistence that got my grandmother to quit many years prior. Oh how the mighty did fall.

At the time I didn't really care about the cost either. When I look back at it now and see how much money I wasted (about $8000 over four years) I cringe. Do you know how many shoes, handbags and iThings that could buy???

Apparently there are many levels of addiction, and for some reason or another, nicotine and I were friends, but we weren't inseparable soulmates (I scored a 3 on the nicotine addiction test). So one day, I just decided to quit... though having a hunky new anti-smoking boyfriend may have had something to do with it. I still had a pack in the cupboard and I didn't touch them. Didn't want to touch them.

Apparently my Dad did it the exact same way. Kept a packet in his top pocket to prove to himself he could resist temptation. Freak.

I do find myself flirting with my old nicotine friend from time to time, normally when I'm having a few loud quiet ones with other smokers, but I'm lucky that for me, it doesn't mean being dragged back in to that expensive habit... just a stern reprimand from Map Guy (who was the hunky new boyfriend).

If you'd like to find out the benefits of quitting smoking, how much money you're wasting, and some tools to help you quit, visit http://www.doortoquitting.com.au. Maybe I should too so I can kick the habit once and for all.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Blogopolis or Bust

Soooo do you remember when I pulled out this little sign?

You don't? Well I did. And then I nearly fell over because the CEO of an awesome company actually saw it and I became her 'sponsorette'!

So, based on the premise of "ask and ye shall receive", here we go again, but this time, with a bigger sign:
Picture me holding it while standing by the side of the highway wearing Daisy Dukes. 

What can I offer a sponsor? Well, other than making awesome signs on cardboard, a lot.

For sponsoring me to attend Blogopolis you will receive:
  • My first born child, gift wrapped*
  • A night with me**
Sounds ace, right? I suppose I could throw in side bar advertising, lovely welcome posts, even the opportunity to kit me out in your logo.  I could even mention SEO which I'm pretty sure stands for Sensational Enchilada Opportunity, so I'm not really sure why you'd want that, but hey, who am I to judge?

I've already managed to get partial sponsorship, which means one company thinks I'm worth it. So you won't be the first person to rock up to the party, feeling awkward and wondering if it's too early to open the wine yet (for clarity, it's never too early to open the wine).

So if you're a company, even a teeny tiny start up WAHM one, and you want to open your business up to some fab social media marketing, then get in touch. I'm pretty cheap, just ask Map Guy.

*Will be a picture of said child, gift wrapped lovingly. I'm really good at wrapping so this sorta counts as two perks
**You can take me out to dinner; I like my steak medium-well and I'm fond of Toblerone cocktails. If you give me enough of them I become really funny. Well, I think so. You can drive me home after dinner and I'll even flick the porch light on and off to say goodbye, a tradition reserved for family and close friends - you should feel honoured

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