Domestic Daddy - By Under The Windmills
I was headed back to work after having my second child, thus leaving The Husband at home alone for a whole day per weekend with Buzz and baby Gucci.
Now The Husband was (is) a wonderful father and provider, he was working hard all day to put bread on the table and arrived home each night just in time to eat some of the afore mentioned bread and give the kids a quick kiss goodnight. I was just a housewife after all, you know, chatting on the phone and watching Oprah all day, so he felt staying home for one day with them on the weekend while I went out to do 'real work' would be a breeze. Right???
So I wished him luck and headed out the door. Being a dutiful husband with an internal need to prove that his domestic skills were far superior to mine, the day started off well. He cleaned up the house, did the washing, changed the baby, made lunch for 18month old Buzz, fed the baby and put him down for a sleep and put on a video for Buzz and sat down to watch it with him. Perfect.
Unfortunately, The Husband, now exhausted from all these ‘simple’ household duties went and broke one of the cardinal rules of parenting a toddler.
He fell asleep.
The husband awoke bleary eyed approximately an hour later to the feeling of Buzz’s hand stroking his face. He mumbled something along the lines of ‘don’t do that’ only to realise in his semi-conscious state that Buzz’s hands in fact felt rather moist, how odd... and what was that horrible smell?
That was when he opened his eyes.
Buzz must have become bored of the video, as toddlers do and decided to make his own fun, he timed a convenient number 2, stuck his hand down his nappy and finger painted the lounge room, the couch, the TV, in fact I think sh!t may have literally even hit the fan. Then he must have gotten bored again and decided to go wake up Daddy by smearing it all over his face.
I don’t know exactly what happened next, and I am quite glad I wasn’t there to witness it, but I am certain that there was a lot of Pine O Clean and non G rated language involved. I returned home to a clean couch, clean walls, a clean Buzz, a very cranky looking husband and the faint smell of faeces still lingering in the air.
After that The Husband conveniently had to work weekends for a while, leaving the kids with my MIL. Strangely, she never had the same problem...
Suzi blogs has blogged Under The Windmills about life, love and little ones since April. Contrary to what her picture suggests, she is not actually a smurf and is much less blue-green in real life.
She has four adorable kiddies and lives with them and her husband in do-er up-er house in a rural, one pub town. She loves clocks and all things pretty and cannot remember the last time she read a book that didn't have pictures in it.
She can be found hanging around on twitter with the most adorable dog avatar ever.
Next week: Foxy Lady
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