Tight-Ass Tampons - By Parental Parody
I love my husband dearly.
Just let me get that out there before I launch into my He Did What?!
#1 Hubby phoned to say he was on his way home from work, and did I need anything?
Translation : Really not ready to pass the
Totally wise to his game, I thought I’d test him.
Me : Yes Dear. Can you please get me some tampons.
Silence on the other end of the phone.
#1 Hubby : Erm…ahhh….okay, yep sure.
Me : Are you sure?
#1 Hubby : Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. Sure thing.
Me : Great, do you want to know which ones to get?
#1 Hubby : No, no. I know.
About an hour later, #1 Hubby arrived home looking calm.
I admit, I was a little disappointed by this. I was expecting to see him all red in the face, sweaty brow, completely frazzled after being confronted by multiple brand and size options in the tampon aisle of the supermarket.
He starts unpacking the shopping - the other “essentials” that he couldn’t pass up because they were on special.
There’s chips, chocolate, soap and toothpaste. Clearly he’s gone down 2 aisles only – junk food and toiletries.
Then he pulls out the tampons.
Are you ready for it ladies?
HOME freaking BRAND!
Now I’m not a brand snob. I’m quite partial to a Home Brand discount. In fact, I don’t recall the last time I bought staples like flour or sugar in anything other than Home Brand.
But lady products? Something that is going to go in there? Hell no!
He has spent more on a 2pack of soap, than he has on my tampons!
I am so freaking disgusted that I can’t even deal with him. Seriously. How does one explain – to a man – that, of all the areas to skimp on price, to buy the cheapest product you can find – feminine hygiene, something that goes inside your bloody body like TAMPONS – is a complete no-no.
So, instead of starting World War 3 while
___ . . . ___ . . . ___
|Aren't we cute?!|
She speaks fluent sarcasm and can often be found drinking wine out of a goon bag in order to maintain some form of sanity after wrangling a five year old tween and two year old twin tornadoes.
Most importantly though, she laughs at my jokes and convinces #1 Hubby to give me a lift home after we've been out partying together.
Stalk her on Facebook... you know you want to.
Next week: Go under the windmills with Suzi
Send your S/He Did What!? submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org