Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Home/Hooker/Housewife

A while back the VegemiteVix tagged me in a Pay It Forward blog post. I don't often participate in them because they're a little too chain-letter-ish for my liking. I used to hate getting chain letters, even the harmless ones in school. Being told I would get pimples if I didn't pass on a letter is just bullshit... I did pass on a few of those bloody letters and I got pimples anyway.

But being tagged by someone as awesome as VegemiteVix? Different story. It's always nice to be tagged by someone you think is cool because of that little place inside that says "someone cool thinks I'm taggable? Wicked".

But then I hit a hurdle.

I have no freakin idea what the Pay It Forward meme is, other than you tag some blogs that you read... what else? Um... er... nup, I dunno.

So, considering the original tag was included in a post that also had meme where you describe yourself as a house for sale, a highclass call girl and a housewife. I'm just gonna run with that one and while it's visiting Where's My Glow? I'm gonna rename it Home/Hooker/Housewife because I have a thing for alliteration and I like to be different. It's like a Variation on a Theme Meme.

Miss Vix actually did it properly because the woman can write, she even "writes copy" whatever that means. Now I'm not a writer so I will just wing it with my tongue embedded firmly in cheek as always. I'll let you figure out the euphemisms yourself.

Home

For Sale: Bargain Fix-er Upper-er-er-er

Conveniently located on a highly fertile dairy farm, this would be the perfect house for a growing family, with plenty of room, spacious verandahs and a really huge back yard for the kids to run around in.

The location needs some work, and has been let go in the past few years, particularly in the attic. All baggage there has been left behind by the previous occupant - there are sure to be many treasures in amongst the skeletons if you take time to sift through it.

Out front is a poorly maintained, overgrown garden. But nothing a little weed killer and TLC couldn't fix.

Hooker

This buxom brunette beauty is a qualified masseuse but will charm you with her humour and style before she ever lays a hand on your aching... shoulders. Don't be fooled though, this girl does not come cheap. Start saving your pennies now, it'll all be worth it for the infamous Glow Job.

Sex and Candy, baby!
Housewife

Housewife wanted, apply within. To replace current model which is failing to maintain any semblance of order normally associated with the running of a household.


Current model refuses to clean and just shoves things behind closed doors and in to cupboards.

Though when it does cook, it cooks good. But will not tidy up after itself.

Tag, you're it. Toushka Lee and Calm Blue Ocean. Beat my alliteration sensation, I dare you!

11 comments:

  1. YOU'RE A MASSEUSE TOO?

    Shit, you are like the perfect woman.  I am pretty sure that you are a robot.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hehe, "this would be the perfect house for a growing family, with plenty of
    room, spacious verandahs and a really huge back yard for the kids to run
    around in."

    I should be working. I blame you and your wonderful sense of humour.

    ReplyDelete
  3. that was very good.  I totally relate to "Housewife" hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  4. Suzi Under the windmillsAugust 9, 2011 at 1:40 PM

    Oh that's just awesome! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh this is wicked good! Well done hun, and what fab pix too!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ha!! Made me cackle. And I want your lolly lips!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. hahah thats gold!! Love the sprinkle lips!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'll buy the hooker, thanks.

    ReplyDelete

Comments are blogger crack.
Comments are taken through Disqus. If you don't see that here then please try another browser or device. Thanks x

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...