Wednesday, July 6, 2011

He Did What!? Wednesday - By Not Tonight Dear

The Great Back Flip Fail of 2004 - By Not Tonight Dear

It took my husband quite a few years to learn the art of gift giving. Meaning that he had to learn to buy something for someone regardless of whether he liked or approved of it. You see for the first possibly ten years of our relationship, the only things I would receive (or anyone else for that matter) were things that he felt were gift worthy. If he didn't like what you suggested, you didn't get it. It really was that simple. For the record I have nagged him enough things have changed a lot around here but for now let's go back to the days of only buying stuff he liked or saw a need for, m'kay?

Turns out I should have been a little wary when he agreed to me wanting to buy our one year old a trampoline for her birthday. It turned out that his idea and my idea of a trampoline were at slightly differing ends of the trampolining scale. He decided that if we were going to buy a trampoline, we were going big. His arguments for the purchase included the fact that it's weight limit was 150kg, you know, so that more than one child could get on at once. How many one year olds does it take to get to 150kg and do we want that many children on there at once anyway? Without a net?

Anyway, the day came that said trampoline arrived - and managed to take up the majority of our back yard - and, of course, said one year old was ecstatic. No birthday present for the big Number 1 fail here. She could run laps on that thing. And she did.

Fast forward to a couple of days later when our one year old wanted to jump on HER trampoline but was ordered to stay inside with Mummy while Daddy did some "exercise". I'm sure you can imagine how impressed I was that he was outside while I was indoors with the screaming kid who was not buying the argument offered from her dad. I can still remember seeing her staring out the back door pining for "just one jump".

About 15 minutes later while on the phone to a friend I hear him call me. And call me. And call me. I was already slightly annoyed that he wouldn't let our little girl on her trampoline so when he called me for the fourth or fifth time I stormed out to the back yard and (use your imagination on the amount of expletives that may or may not have been uttered) asked him what the problem was.

Seems he had fallen off the trampoline and smashed his shin open. To the bone. And needed to go the hospital for stitches. When questioned on whether it was a result of him trying to do back flip after back flip he adamantly denied that this was how it happened. Still angry with him, I called our nearest A&E to enquire on the wait time. An hour. "Great," I said. "I'll send him with a book." He bandaged his leg - he was in luck because it was his left one so not required whilst driving. Did I mention there was not an ounce of sympathy being handed out? - and headed off to the hospital.

Turns out the dickhead my darling husband had not fallen off the trampoline whilst attempting his gazillionth back flip but fell off because he was dizzy! Although I'm pretty sure he wasn't dizzy from doing laps on it. You?
___ . . . ___ . . . ___

Tanya is many things: Wife, mother, counsellor, mediator, financier, secretary, nurse, chauffeur, teacher, chief "cuggle" giver and blogger at Not Tonight Dear (best blog name ever!).

She has been blogging since 2005!!! Yes, you read that correctly! 

Her husband and her three gorgeous girls have just welcomed a new member to their family... no, not a baby, a super adorable puppy with an usual but really cool name.

You can join the Not Tonight Dear fanpage on Facebook and follow Tanya on Twitter.

Next week: Life With A Fussy Eater dishes the dirt on her own kind!

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  1. Ahhhh hahahaha. TANYA I love your work. I can just picture CJ too, now I've met him. Ooooh what a typical boy-man! And for the record, Steve did exactly the same thing: If we're going to get a trampoline, we're going BIG. Ugh. Cue the truck backing up beep-beep-beep and offloading a 14' monstrosity that totally dwarfs our (previously huge) back yard!

  2. This is why we got a tramp with a net. I know it's boring, but we are all accident prone. Took the kids about a year to manage to tear the net down by jumping into it. But at least we had a year's grace ...

  3. OUCH!
    Still no sympathy. He should have hurt his leg whilst catching his dizzy toddler! Lol.

  4. Heehee, I love the negotiations that went on for the Trampoline Purchase! Men, men, men hey. Gotta love them in the end. Thank you for sharing :)

  5. You had me laughing so much through that! 
    I'm sorry. ;)

    When I first read about hubby wanting the tramp that holds 150kg (for more kids) I knew he wanted it for himself!

    Men, or should I say boys, are funny creatures!

    My Mum has just sent me the book Men Are From Mars, Women Are from Venus! I have started reading it and have been nodding through alot of it!
    And it was written by a man!

    I do, however feel sorry for your husband for having to go to hospital alone! :(
    Men are silly. He probably knows that now after injuring himself! ha ha...Hopefully he won't be doing that again any time soon! Kids are enough to handle! x

  6. Oh my, they NEVER grow up do they? ;-)

  7. We had a humungous trampoline too. My son would drag it overnear the fence, climb onto the fence, then DIVE onto the trampoline. How he never broke his neck I'll never know!

  8. Ah funny - this is why we try and leave the gift buying to you girls - we are just not safe in charge of a wallet

  9. Uh. Yep! Ours was about that size. Nets came in soon after so our newer version has a net. LOL

    And yes, I can see it being funnier for you being that you know the parties involved. Hahahaha


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