Saturday, July 2, 2011

A thief, a dobber, a trouble maker and a whinger

On Thursday night I ditched parenting duties to go to a fancy pants wine and whiskey tasting "Twitterati Party". Say that three times fast. Go on, I'll wait... it's cool, right?

The party was hosted by Jason Jordan at the Inglewood Hotel to celebrate/commiserate the end of financial year. As someone with zero taxable income, EOFY means bugger all to me, but hey, if you're going to put on the wine and whiskey, I'll come to your party.

I got tickets to the event after getting a text message from Georgia of Parental Parody fame a few weeks ago which said "FREE WINE TASTING THING ON TWITTER... DO IT NOOOOOW!" or words to that affect. So it was only right that I picked her up on the way there. And by I, I of course mean Map Guy.

There was some slight stalling whilst getting my boobs out in the carpark to feed a rather vocal and cranky pants Tricky (what, like you've never gotten your boobs out in the poorly lit, slightly dingy back carpark of a pub), then it was time to make our entrance. We headed in and tried to find where the gig was; Georgia noticed people with their heads buried in their phones... I noticed the wine table.

We gravitated towards it and started sampling the massive range of four bottles. The guy doing the pouring was trying to tell me all about "this one which is a little bit older and little more full bodied" to which I replied "Well so am I, so I'll have that one". He gave me half a sip. Surely my predictable quip deserved at least half a glass?

It didn't taste like battery acid so of course, I wanted some more. He was busy serving and chatting to other people so I just helped myself.

Luckily the guy didn't see me do it because a few other guests told me (whilst I was half way through the drink) that apparently, only the taste was free, you had to pay for the drinks.

I went back and checked and there it was, written in chicken scratch on a scrap of paper "glass $8". Stingey bastards! I don't go to a free wine party to pay for my drinks, it's part of the zero income thing I've got going on.

So I guess I am a thief.

I planned to stand behind Georgia and Adam from TweetPerth if anyone said anything. Safety in numbers and all that jazz.

Screw it. On to the cocktails.

Then I met Jason, and being the fantastic, grateful and slightly drunk person that I am, I complained about mentioned my surprise at the lack of free drinks and offered myself up as the criminal tweep who stole a glass.

Now I'm a dobber, of both myself and the establishment.

He said he had no idea it wasn't free, and from the look of shock on his face, I'm inclined to believe him. When handing out the door prizes he announced to the room (jokingly) that I was a trouble maker... at least he didn't say what everyone else was thinking; that I was a lush who was just after free drinks (they were right, by the way).

Now I'm a thief, a dobber and a trouble maker, are you keeping up?

Anyway, there were some fab photos taken by this guy Karl, who I was eyeing off for a while doing that whole 'Do I know him? I think I know him? It's definitely him' dance in my head. Karl and I used to be friends, we got drunk once and got kicked out of a club together about eight years ago on Christmas Eve. Good times.

He took some nice photos, and I'm unsurprisingly holding a wine glass or cocktail glass in all of them.

Cocktail glass, hidden cocktail glass but peace sign, wine glass
'Twas a fun night of catching up with my Twitter pals and I was home by 10pm thanks to #1 Hubby giving me a lift home while I ranted in the back seat wondering just how much I could drunkenly say in front of a very worldly five year old.

Oh, and just quietly, there was no damn whiskey. Now I'm a thief, a dobber, a trouble maker and a whinger.

Do you celebrate/commiserate EOFY? Or not give a toss? 


  1. I don't give a toss, even if I did earn an income, I still wouldn't. 
    But I do enjoy the EOFYS sales thankyouverymuch. 
    I would have complained too. Surely you need a full glass to really get a taste of the wine. One would think. 
    You're definitely a trouble maker. I've noticed a hint of that for a very long time. But personally? I love that! 

  2. I LOVE the end of the financial year.

    Only if I am NOT at work at the time.

    I want to go to twitter drinks.  We shall make our own.  HUZZAH!

  3. Twitter drinks in the bush *WOOOT!*

  4. My boobs have been out on display in dodgy carparks and rest stops and even on the side of the highway, basically from gladstone (Qld) to port macquarie. So I'm with ya on that.

  5. Oh. Mine. God. Immortalised on your blog - and without a double chin in sight!  Awesome work.  Top photographer.  And, can I just say, it is also 200% appropriate that I am also sporting a wine glass in every single photo.

    #1 Hubby is equally chuffed he has rated a mention.

    Miss5 is "glowing" because she thought you had pretty hair and you were nice to her.  Well done with that, she's normally rather critical!

    I was prepared to throw Adam AKA Tweet Perth under the bus if required - he has the nice, trustworthy and innocent young guy look that would've got him excused for anything we may or may not have done/taken/liberated....

  6. Dude, I would have been SO pissed! Off that is. 

    I think next year (when I can drink again) you should get a sponsor to come to Brisbane and we can hit the Good Food and Wine festival and get wasted and fed for free! I did it one year, winner! If we go with a driver we get their drink too. Maybe we should have two drivers so we get a drink each.

    I miss alcohol already.

    BTW HOTTIE!!!!

  7. I didn't celebrate EOFY but would have if it included wine and whiskey!

  8. "a little bit older and little more full bodied" - love it.  Great photos too.

  9. How did I miss out on this? I swear living on a farm sucks sometimes! Must follow Twitter more closely....

    Did not celebrate EOFY, but my BAS did arrive in the mail on 1 July just to remind me that as sure as there is death, there are taxes to pay.

  10. Being on a povertylevel income, I ignore EOFYS too. I do my spending after my tiny tax refund comes in, using it to layby stuff for christmas.
    I think you were entitled to the "stolen" drink, after all the invitation didn't state only the first taste was free, and the signage at the do wasn't clear either. An honest mistake.

  11. I'm so glad I've met you. I used to just think it was me who had nights like these. Except that bit about getting the boobs out in a dim carpark behind a pub. ... not that I can remember anyway.

    EOFY means nothing to me any more. Although, the husb works at a place where they do mufti day (free dress, no suits) and have a full-on bbq and play Wii games all arvo. Those tech geeks know how to partay, huh?

  12. As long as it's good trouble and not bad trouble, I kinda like it :)

  13. I have pretty hair?! This pleases me no end. I sadly did not have a rockin plakky crown and ring like she did though *sigh*

  14. You know I have never been to one of those festival-ly things? Something wrong with me.

  15. I think that is how I am going to describe myself now

  16. Oh BAS how fun!! This is the first year I won't have to do a tax return, it feels weird.

  17. It was an honest mistake... but I honestly was not going to stop drinking it when I found out!

  18. Mufti day? Isn't a Mufti an Islamic scholar?


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