Man's Second Best Friend - By The Armory
The similarities between the two are closer than you’d think. A fact I wasn’t aware of until I recently went to lunch with a friend who brought along her 1 year old. Granted, this child was probably the most well behaved child I’d ever seen, so this is probably not the greatest comparison in the world as my dog is more difficult than trying to enjoy Channel Ten’s primetime line-up.
He throws up his dinner at least 3 times a week, he has a weak bladder so he pees on my bed on a daily basis, and pretty much anywhere else he can hover his little doodle over. He leaves his little turdies all over the floor so you’ve gotta keep your eyes peeled at all times in case you tread on a chunk and leave brown Chuck Taylor prints all through the house. He wakes me up in the middle of the night with his crying because he can’t get comfortable on his bed, or he’s too cold, or he’s hungry, so I have to drag my lazy ass out of bed to tend to his every need. Then when I’ve finished making him happy he just goes right back to sleep while I sit there looking resentfully at him in the dark, entirely jealous of the fact that because he’s blind and deaf he can just block out the world around him and drop like a rock.
Once, I’m almost positive I saw him half smile at me when I tucked him back in bed, as if he has me wrapped around his little claw. Maybe I should start peeing in his shoes and stepping on his face at 2am, just to reaffirm with him who’s really in charge here.
I often wonder if maybe it’d be easier to have a child? At least you can dump them at school for 7 hours a day and send them off to sleepovers or sport training. I’m assuming that’s all there is to it...
|Casper the bed wetting wonder dog|
___ . . . ___ . . . ___
He started stalking me a while ago and letting him post on here is the only way I can get him stop.
He is many things: Hilarious; politically incorrect; completely vain (Carly Simon sings about him); a trend setter, Woog obsessed; fluent in sarcasm; fashionista extraordinaire; Twitter whore; lover of saturated fat; endlessly inappropriate and always fun to be around.
He wrote this post a few weeks ago and sadly the gorgeous Casper passed away on Saturday.
Much tweety love to you, dude xxx
Next week: It's time for a little Woog Action
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