Monday, July 8, 2013

My hips don't lie. They don't work, either.

You know the film clip for Shakira's My Hips Don't Lie? The one where it looks like her hips are disembodied and have a life of their own? Well, I'm currently imitating that video clip with every step.

Now I don't look anywhere near as attractive as Shakira (plus I don't have some weird undead mummy-boy standing in the background to make me look more youthful and... alive?) and I can only put it down to the fact that I don't have rhinestones stuck to my back and that my movements are involuntary. And painful. But other than our marked physical differences, our hips move in the exact same way.

I'm suffering yet again from Pelvic Girdle Pain with a side dish of Pubic Symphysis Pain. Because the world obviously doesn't think I say Girdle and Pubic enough. I could call it PGP and PSP but I just think of mining companies and gaming consoles when I hear that. And my hips aren't a gaming console... well *ahem* not when they hurt this much.

I had it last time around and even had my ass taped to prevent my hips rotating. This time I knew the first warning signs it was happening (it was inevitable with my super stretchy ligaments - my body does not do pregnancy well at all) so sought treatment really early. Early treatment means I can still walk most of the time, hurrah!

This time, rather than having adhesive strapped to my backside, I'm relying on weekly physio, yoga and pregnancy Pilates plus a super tight belly belt that manages to make my baby bump look like a giant muffin top the way it suddenly juts out over the top. But for the mild relief the brace brings, I will be muffin-y with pride. Besides, muffins are delicious, right?

And did I mention the part time crutches? OH a preggo on crutches is quite the sight, let me tell you! If you thought people moved out of your way when you were pregnant, you should see the enormously wide berth they give you when your growing bump comes hobbling along with support sticks and a face that says "if I stop I may never start again". Shop assistants come out of nowhere to help you out of their stores lest you be stuck in them and actually give birth next to the sales rack. I can't blame them, amniotic fluid is a bitch to get out of carpet. So far I've only needed them a few times though. Phew.

People tell me not to wish this pregnancy away and I'm not. I'm just wishing it speed. Light speed.

Did pregnancy screw with your body?

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