By my standards, I'm not old. By a sixteen year old's I'm probably ancient. I have all the signs of
So how do you know you're getting old? Well...
- You stop being referred to as 'the girl' and start being called 'the lady' as in "Watch out for the lady" and "Give the money to the lady". I ain't no lady
- You squeeze your pelvic floor muscles in preparation for a sneeze... you know, just in case
- You start appreciating the value of money and go from "these shoes are a whole week's rent, aren't they faaaaabulous?!" to "I got this top on sale!"
- You think a night in with a bottle of wine and some cheese is much more fun than a night out at a pub
- You find drinking a cup of tea/coffee/hot chocolate, in a really nice cup, a fantastic way to unwind
- Your once proportional body disappears and fat starts lingering around your mid section changing your muffin-top to a whole-fucking-bakery-top
- You pack away your g-strings and replace them with industrial strength iron underwear to suck you in
- You tune in religiously to Grand Designs and swoon over Kevin McCloud. Mmmmm Kevin
- You turn on the radio and think "What the hell is this rubbish?" and immediately put on a CD
- You suddenly find it overwhelming to adjust to new technology and changes, requiring the instruction of a primary school student to figure out how to work the media centre