I was having such a good day today. See that little word there? Was. As in, it started well and now it sucks.
My Mum came over and played with Tricky while I did a few things around the house, we went to the shops for a bit and then met up with my Dad at a cafe for a free lunch.
It was free because we'd gone there for my birthday and I'd ordered a pizza that had olives on it and when it came and I bit in to it I bloody nearly broke my tooth because the olives hadn't been pitted. Seriously who puts non-pitted olives on a pizza? Anyways, they gave us a freebie to make up for it.
We're still obviously in the good part of the day here.
So while I was on a high of free carbohydrates and because I had my parents to watch Tricky I decided to have a massage.
And, oh, how things can turn so quickly. It went a little like this:
Tiny little masseuse lady: What you want?
Glowless: Back, neck and shoulder? Can you fit me in?
Tiny little masseuse lady: Yeah we got spot. How long?
Glowless: Just half an hour.
Tiny little masseuse lady (looking me up and down): But you pregnant, yes?
Glowless (wishing the floor would swallow me whole, or just swallow my ass): Um, no.
Tiny little masseuse lady: OK come through
Yep. Not pregnant. Just fat. Niiiice.
In my late teens I was with my boss when she asked a coworker when her baby was due. She wasn't pregnant either. Seeing the crushed look on her face that day, the look she tried so much to hide, made me swear I would never ask someone if they were pregnant. NEVER. I would hesitate to ask even if I could see their baby crowning and there was a midwife telling me to move out of her way.
You just don't do it.
So it has come as a timely reminder that yes, I am fat. And I should do something about it... right after I eat this tub of icecream to make myself feel better.
Has anyone asked you if you were pregnant when you weren't? Or is just me that has a lardass?