Thursday, October 27, 2011

100 Round the Bends: My V8 Hot Lap Experience

There's a Missy Higgins song (don't hate me) that says "we'll go 100 round the bends" and every time I hear her sing it I think "What? 100? Are you in a race car or just extremely irresponsible? Your car is going to get impounded young missy Missy and you're not doing a thing to bust the young stupid driver stereotype" at which point I realize it's just a song, no one cares and people are starting to look at the crazy lady having an animated conversation with herself at the traffic lights.

On the weekend I actually did go 100 round the bends (and it happened to be entirely legal) and I could not get that bloody song out of my head. I jumped in a V8 Supercar and did four hot laps, oooh yeah. My inner bogan rev head felt the need for speed and a sudden urge to smoke Winnie Blues and wear flannelette and thongs.

I bought Map Guy a double pass from one of those online voucher places and actually got around to using it before it lapsed like the last one I bought. He chose to take me and I was actually pretty surprised... I assumed (yes, ass:you:me, I know) that he'd take a mate or one of his car club buddies he's been around the track with before. But he chose me and I spent the morning saying "You choo choo choose me" because even though I was mixing up my modes of transportation I can't miss an opportunity to be annoying.

We rocked up at Barbagallo Raceway and suited up - in case you're wondering, it's really hard to pull on a firesuit when your back is so sunburned that you can't put your arms back. And so we're clear, firesuits are unattractive unless you're an actual V8 Supercar driver.

Needed a firesuit because I'm so hot
A non-action shot of Map Guy the scarecrow
Bogan couple in matching outfits
Last time I had a back seat bonus I didn't need a lanyard

There was a bit of waiting around for "photo's" because bogans can't spell

Then posing for "photo's" that they wanted to charge us $50 for when I could just take my own...
Then a bit more waiting at Stig School
Go for launch with my massive head in a tiny helmet
Jumping in for Step 8 "drive" - hard to see, but the brakes were on fire
We did four laps and reached over 220km/h down the back straight and did indeed do 100 round the bends. The heady smell of petrol and being subjected to massive G Forces (now called Glow Forces) meant that at the three and a half lap mark I was thinking less of Australian singer songwriters and more of the trajectory of my spew under Glow Forces.

Climbing out of the car all I wanted to do was get as far away from the fumes as possible, but I'd promised my shoes to some chick who had rocked up wearing thongs *coughbogancough* and wasn't allowed in the cars unless she found some closed in shoes. So we waited; me going slightly green and Map Guy thinking all his Christmases had come at once being in pitt lane for such a long time.

I felt sick for the remainder of the day but it was definitely worth it. Four hot laps for me, eight for my shoes. An awesome experience.

Are you a rev head? Would you do a hot lap? Would you lend your shoes to a bogan?


  1. Quite possibly the funnehest (bogan spelling) post I've read in yonkers (does that count for bogan speak?).  Loved it muchly.  You totally rocked the suit, BTW.

  2. Love it! My dad is an ultimate V8 Racing fan so we surprised him with an Eastern Creek experience - got 4 hot laps as driver and 4 as passenger.  He had the time of his life and as it was only 2 weeks after he lost his Mum, was also a much needed way to cheer him up.

    Glad you enjoyed your experience - you sure looked the part! 

  3. No, no, and no. But good for you!

    Cranky Old Man

  4. Nat @ Sanity Or BustOctober 27, 2011 at 9:55 AM

    Total rev head! Raced sidecars with my dad pre-Frog arrival! Wouldn't do a hot lap in a car but have done plenty of slidey type hot laps around a racetrack with my arse skidding the ground :) Although I may lend my shoes to a bogan in thongs.... I may also feel a little like Glow after some Glow forces when I got them back.......

  5. oh i think you look cool in your firesuit!! how awesome! I would be too chicken to go  v8 racing!

  6. I am a rev head. Grew up on the race track. I would do a hot lap. Me driving right? Otherwise i've done hot laps as a passenger (cue: *If you wanna be, a passengeeeerrrrrr. Climb aboard. We're leaving nowwwwww*) in V8's and an assortment of hot rods.
    I wouldn't lend my shoes to a bogan though. Bogans are sneaky things and if they don't steal your shoes they will invite themselves back to your place and drink all your beer, or rum and coke.

  7. Ooohhh hot! I'm waiting for my chance to do this in an aston martin hehehe

  8. I do 220kph in my ST all the time and NOT on the track *blush*. What a rush!!!

  9. Lina@MothersLoveLettersOctober 28, 2011 at 8:03 AM

    Awww, Ralph Wiggum!
    I have a toy Ralph, he's soooo cute!
    "The cat's breath smells like cat food!"
    Go Go G-Forces!
    Lina xx

  10. My brother is a total rev head and hes certainly converted me. and i had to laugh about the bogan in thongs. Oh that would totally be me. I forget im wearing them lol (probably shouldnt admit that out loud) :)

  11. Lucky you got a Holden, otherwise it would have been a total waste of money.
    Love the supercars! I was always sceptical of those online hot lap experiences, thought it might turn out to be a "supercar" from the 80's or something, but looks like it was quite impressive!


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