Thursday, October 27, 2011

100 Round the Bends: My V8 Hot Lap Experience

There's a Missy Higgins song (don't hate me) that says "we'll go 100 round the bends" and every time I hear her sing it I think "What? 100? Are you in a race car or just extremely irresponsible? Your car is going to get impounded young missy Missy and you're not doing a thing to bust the young stupid driver stereotype" at which point I realize it's just a song, no one cares and people are starting to look at the crazy lady having an animated conversation with herself at the traffic lights.

On the weekend I actually did go 100 round the bends (and it happened to be entirely legal) and I could not get that bloody song out of my head. I jumped in a V8 Supercar and did four hot laps, oooh yeah. My inner bogan rev head felt the need for speed and a sudden urge to smoke Winnie Blues and wear flannelette and thongs.

I bought Map Guy a double pass from one of those online voucher places and actually got around to using it before it lapsed like the last one I bought. He chose to take me and I was actually pretty surprised... I assumed (yes, ass:you:me, I know) that he'd take a mate or one of his car club buddies he's been around the track with before. But he chose me and I spent the morning saying "You choo choo choose me" because even though I was mixing up my modes of transportation I can't miss an opportunity to be annoying.

We rocked up at Barbagallo Raceway and suited up - in case you're wondering, it's really hard to pull on a firesuit when your back is so sunburned that you can't put your arms back. And so we're clear, firesuits are unattractive unless you're an actual V8 Supercar driver.

Needed a firesuit because I'm so hot
A non-action shot of Map Guy the scarecrow
Bogan couple in matching outfits
Last time I had a back seat bonus I didn't need a lanyard

There was a bit of waiting around for "photo's" because bogans can't spell

Then posing for "photo's" that they wanted to charge us $50 for when I could just take my own...
Then a bit more waiting at Stig School
Go for launch with my massive head in a tiny helmet
Jumping in for Step 8 "drive" - hard to see, but the brakes were on fire
We did four laps and reached over 220km/h down the back straight and did indeed do 100 round the bends. The heady smell of petrol and being subjected to massive G Forces (now called Glow Forces) meant that at the three and a half lap mark I was thinking less of Australian singer songwriters and more of the trajectory of my spew under Glow Forces.

Climbing out of the car all I wanted to do was get as far away from the fumes as possible, but I'd promised my shoes to some chick who had rocked up wearing thongs *coughbogancough* and wasn't allowed in the cars unless she found some closed in shoes. So we waited; me going slightly green and Map Guy thinking all his Christmases had come at once being in pitt lane for such a long time.

I felt sick for the remainder of the day but it was definitely worth it. Four hot laps for me, eight for my shoes. An awesome experience.

Are you a rev head? Would you do a hot lap? Would you lend your shoes to a bogan?

11 comments:

  1. Quite possibly the funnehest (bogan spelling) post I've read in yonkers (does that count for bogan speak?).  Loved it muchly.  You totally rocked the suit, BTW.

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  2. Love it! My dad is an ultimate V8 Racing fan so we surprised him with an Eastern Creek experience - got 4 hot laps as driver and 4 as passenger.  He had the time of his life and as it was only 2 weeks after he lost his Mum, was also a much needed way to cheer him up.

    Glad you enjoyed your experience - you sure looked the part! 

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  3. No, no, and no. But good for you!

    Cranky Old Man

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  4. Nat @ Sanity Or BustOctober 27, 2011 at 9:55 AM

    Total rev head! Raced sidecars with my dad pre-Frog arrival! Wouldn't do a hot lap in a car but have done plenty of slidey type hot laps around a racetrack with my arse skidding the ground :) Although I may lend my shoes to a bogan in thongs.... I may also feel a little like Glow after some Glow forces when I got them back.......

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  5. oh i think you look cool in your firesuit!! how awesome! I would be too chicken to go  v8 racing!

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  6. I am a rev head. Grew up on the race track. I would do a hot lap. Me driving right? Otherwise i've done hot laps as a passenger (cue: *If you wanna be, a passengeeeerrrrrr. Climb aboard. We're leaving nowwwwww*) in V8's and an assortment of hot rods.
    I wouldn't lend my shoes to a bogan though. Bogans are sneaky things and if they don't steal your shoes they will invite themselves back to your place and drink all your beer, or rum and coke.

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  7. Ooohhh hot! I'm waiting for my chance to do this in an aston martin hehehe

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  8. I do 220kph in my ST all the time and NOT on the track *blush*. What a rush!!!

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  9. Lina@MothersLoveLettersOctober 28, 2011 at 8:03 AM

    Awww, Ralph Wiggum!
    I have a toy Ralph, he's soooo cute!
    "The cat's breath smells like cat food!"
    Go Go G-Forces!
    Lina xx

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  10. My brother is a total rev head and hes certainly converted me. and i had to laugh about the bogan in thongs. Oh that would totally be me. I forget im wearing them lol (probably shouldnt admit that out loud) :)

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  11. Lucky you got a Holden, otherwise it would have been a total waste of money.
    Love the supercars! I was always sceptical of those online hot lap experiences, thought it might turn out to be a "supercar" from the 80's or something, but looks like it was quite impressive!

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