Wednesday, January 4, 2012

How to completely suck at being a craft blogger

1. Find craft rather annoying
I don't do craft. Which is strange because I've always been slightly quirky and creative (read: weird). I see things and somehow know how they're put together and can recreate them... if I could be bothered. Most of the time, I have no inclination to flex my creative muscles. I see crafty things and I immediately think it's a boring, energy sapping, messy, waste of time (do not get me started on scrapbooking, I just don't understand it). Time I could spend doing much more productive things like faffing around on Twitter for example.

2. Be confused by Pinterest
I also don't do Pinterest (unless I'm trying to keep tattoo ideas in one place) and have no idea what it means to follow someone on Pinterest or how on earth I have so many followers and how people say they could get lost for hours 'pinning'. I can't even link you to my page here because I HAVE NO IDEA which page is mine.

3. Don't own any craft supplies
Because I reserve the right to completely contradict myself, the other day I looked at Pinterest, saw an image and thought I MUST DO THAT! I was so inspired by the simplicity that I was just itching to give it a whirl so I ran out and bought some high quality supplies from the Reject Shop because if I screwed it up I didn't want to be out of pocket by much.

3. Burn yourself terribly and scream so loudly the neigbours hear
I'm now the proud owner of a glue gun and some serious welts to match - who knew that what goes in the chamber leaks out when you turn it upside down, hey? Gravity, you are a bitch! Also, when you spill melted wax all over yourself there is NOTHING you can do other than wait for it to cool down. On the upside, I can now go on a crime spree without fear of repercussions because I no longer have fingerprints.

4. Forget to take photos so there is no step by step instructions
I did have my camera next to me, I promise. But having hands dripping in melted wax meant there was bugger all chance of me picking it up.

So what the hell did I make??? Well I got these:

Ran them through this:

And got this:
 And this:

So, how do you make your own drippy, waxy, fingerprint destroying rainbow canvas? Easy: a) unwrap crayons, b) shove crayon in glue chamber, c) push through with your thumb and then the nearest pokey-thing you can grab such as a chopstick, d) burn the shit out of your hand, e) splatter wax on your kitchen bench, f) marvel at how freaking cool the finished product looks and how awesome you are, g) go and pin your own images!

Are you crafty? Or is the only craft you're interested in a movie with a whiney Neve Campbell?

43 comments:

  1. But it does look awesome!! Worth the burns?? Well, for me at this end of the computer screen it was :P

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ahahaha. I've burned my fingers so many times with a glue gun in my attempts to be crafty. I was actually considering putting "more craft activities" on my 2012 to do list but after seeing this post, I was reminded of the horrors attached to the task. So maybe not this year.

    ReplyDelete
  3. JoCountrylifeexperimentJanuary 4, 2012 at 9:51 AM

    I love the concept of being crafty... it's just too much hassle though! My kids love to make things and their stuff (read crap) is everywhere!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You put crayons in a glue gun...wow...that's...creative ;D But seriously, the result is pretty cool looking!

    All the descriptions of the melt-y canvas I've seen say 'use a hairdryer' but I was never convinced that would work - this is much more effective. Based on above if you used a hairdryer you would prob be standing in the tub to do it. You're like the Evel Knievel of Craft, or something like that. :D

    FYI - http://pinterest.com/glowless/ is you, you're welcome ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. lol, love it. I'm putting up my own 'crafty blog post' today, complete with lame pictures. I'm neither a craft blog nor a photo blog, apparently! Bet your kids loved it though.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ouchie!  I would never have thought to put crayons in a glue gun. Probably with good reason ;-)

    Looks pretty good, though....

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am crafty, I never used to be but now that I have a lot more free time since I'm not working I am into it a lot more.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Cherie @ a baby called MaxJanuary 4, 2012 at 10:22 AM

    Fucking hell.

    I read this at my mother in laws, & laughed so much at the crime spree fingerprint comment, that my MIL needed to know what was so funny.

    This meant having to explain to someone who still pays all of her bills via posting a cheque into the company what a blog was.

    That was fun.

    Cheers ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Well that is another idea of how to use the hot glue gun! ehehehe   I do craft from time to time and I miss doing it a lot.. I just need to find the motivation to do it. HAHA 

    ReplyDelete
  10. I've never used a glue gun in my life, and I'm not likely to.  But your creation looks fantastic!

    ReplyDelete
  11. NO FINGERPRINTS. Oh lord heavens above, I may have LOLROFLed.

    I don't get pinterest, can't seem to pin anything. And I loathe, hate, stab craft. Missing the craft gene, obviously.

    X

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well this was worth the wait! Look at that talent! Crayons and a hot glue gun-I never thought to insert a crayon! I can now see you venturing into 'linky crafty parties' guest blogging about crayon craft and becoming a pinster. A whole new world awaits for the glow. You can start by following me on Pinterest, I think edenland wants too!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am so fucking making this. I am having VISIONS. So much for my day at home tomorrow. I am heading out first thing to pick up supplies!

    You know what? I have a dedicated craft space (I'm not at all creative though) and even *I* don't have a hot glue gun. They need to make them in pink.

    ReplyDelete
  14. lol, I'm not a 'crafty blogger' so much, but I'm a little crafty, but that just reaks too hard in my books, I'm more a 'lazy crafter'.  Good on you for having a crack at it.

    ReplyDelete
  15. i just winced at the thought of pushing crayons through a hot glue gun - it may just be me but the two just don't seem like a fit. that being said - the finished product? AMAZEBALLS!

    ~x~

    ReplyDelete
  16. Fucking awesome.

    You need to go and look at my boards on pinterest http://pinterest.com/magnetoboldtoo/ ALL of my shit is awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'd say that you excel as a crafter: it's not about the process but the results and yours looks freakin' awesome!! (I say this as someone who regularly burns, stabs and glues bits of herself together....)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Might I suggest a pair of strong rubber gloves to prevent glue gun/crayon burns?
    And of course now I want a glue gun....

    ReplyDelete
  19. I can appreciate crafts. This is something i'd love to have hanging on my wall. However I really dont have the attention span to create it.

    Crafting generally consists of me buying all the wrong bits and bobs. Creating something a 3 year old could do better, swearing ALOT, stamping my feet and possibly crying because I suck at crafts and then handing it over to my creative The Daddy Man and watching him make it look like the original "muse". I also leave all the craft gear out, which the kids get into and drag through the house.

    It's just not worth it dammit! Congrats on your awesome creation though!

    ReplyDelete
  20. That is superb! Is that a bit of skin in there for a bit of extra texture and artistic integrity? I'm rushing for a glue gun now- who needs tattoos when you can melt yourself onto a canvas for all eternity? X

    ReplyDelete
  21. Kirsty @ My Home TruthsJanuary 5, 2012 at 9:47 AM

    I'm not crafty. At all. Having said that, the only craft post I ever did is one of my most popular of all time. Pity I didn't actually do any of it, I just documented the work of my husband and daughter... At least you did your project and have the scars to prove it!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I will probably end up doing more. I think the craft bug has bitten me - sadly the clean up after craft bug is nowhere to be found.

    ReplyDelete
  23. My teeny tiny house is already full of crap, and now I've created more. FML.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Ima gonna try the hairdryer thing next time, though I don't know if I can get glue in my glue gun now to put the crayons on the canvas. I think I did it in the wrong order.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I did it after Tricky was in bed... what a terrible mother keeping the craft for herself hehehe

    ReplyDelete
  26. Yes whoever thought it up is probably a sadist.

    ReplyDelete
  27. You should find out just how many different things you can shove through a glue gun!

    ReplyDelete
  28. OMG I'M SO SORRY CHERIE! Describing a blog is just impossible.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Motivation to clean up afterwards too :P

    ReplyDelete
  30. I can tick it off my bucket list... not that it was actually on it.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I have zero patience for craft, I think that's why I don't do it. I just want it finished and perfect NOW.

    With no fingerprints I can now kidnap somebody to do it for me.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I have the solution for you - melt a pink crayon over it. My blue one is now red, green, purple and pink. Oooh la la fancy pants glue gun.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I firmly believe whoever thought of it first was either a genius or a sadist.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Have you pinned my awesome melty waxy thing? YOU SHOULD!

    ReplyDelete
  35. I'm told on good authority that the number of third degree burns is directly proportional to the outcome of the piece ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  36. Good idea, I couldn't hold the gun through them though because they got in the way.

    ReplyDelete
  37. It's the having somewhere to put the craft gear that is also a major hurdle for me. Leaving out glue guns and exacto knives around my toddler would probably end in tears.

    ReplyDelete
  38. It is, Twitchy, thank you for noticing! When people say that sweat, blood and tears go in to their work they're being metaphorical - I am not :P

    ReplyDelete
  39. Perhaps I should have named it better for SEO then? Hehehe.

    ReplyDelete
  40. looks awesome! have you caught the craft bug now (once the hand heals?)

    ReplyDelete
  41. Hi there!
    I 2nd the scrapbook opinion...grown women doing what?  Maybe it is the modern day quilt bee.  What you made is so cool and clever.

    ReplyDelete

Comments are blogger crack.
Comments are taken through Disqus. If you don't see that here then please try another browser or device. Thanks x

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...