Monday, January 16, 2012

10 Reasons Why I Don't Trust You

Trust. It's a strange thing, really, because if I trust you to take care of my house while I'm away it doesn't mean I trust you to borrow a treasured possession; if I trust you to look after my dog, it doesn't mean I'd trust you to look after my kid; If I trust you to look after my kid it doesn't mean I'd trust you enough to be a confidante. Trust in one area doesn't automatically generate trust in another, just as lack of trust in one doesn't necessarily mean lack of trust in others. That's getting a little too philosophical, so let's just get on with the rant.

I'd like to preface this post with a little note: These are all from personal experience so if you think I'm talking about you... I probably am. Best you know though, right?

1. You drink/take drugs and drive. I could care less what you do in your own time, but the second you get in a car when you're under the influence, I have lost all respect for you. If you're planning a road trip and promise me you won't drive stoned while my loved ones are in the car with you, and then blaze up at the first truck stop... well, there's not much you can do to redeem yourself from that.

2. All conversations are a way for you to bitch about someone behind their back. I'm not stupid you know, if you bitch about everyone else then it's pretty much guaranteed you're bitching about me too. So I won't tell you anything of consequence because I know you'll twist it and before the week is done the woman down the road's step-son's cousin knows.

3. You blatantly lie to your fiance in front of me about something so huge that affects both of your lives, then give me that look that says "shhh, don't tell". You've just brought me in to your lie, you schmuck. If you want to screw up your own future, do it, but don't make me the bad guy who either did or didn't keep your secret.

4. Your emails/tweets/blog posts are full of simple spelling mistakes but then you pull out words like "crwth" and "tsktsks" on Words with Friends to beat me. YOU CHEAT! No more Words with Friends for you!

5. You suggest the perfect wedding gift for Map Guy would be for you to sleep with him because he had a crush on you a few years before he met me. I'm sorry, what fucking planet are you from? Are kitchen appliances too passe these days that we have to give sexual favours?

6. You've barely spoken to me for more than five minutes over four and a half years while you swan around, flying business class back and forth around the world, then pop up asking to borrow a large sum of money. You can't just decide to be friends when you want something.

7. I loaned you my most amazing, most expensive reference book that I paid a shed load of money for... and you left the country. Do they not have a postal service in the UK so you could send it back? I miss my beautiful book and it's making me a sad panda.

8. You tell me bum doesn't look big in these pants when it's blatantly obvious I look like a whale in spandex. 

9. You sleep with your mate's wife. This is particularly scummy if it's done approximately one week after having a giant, albeit slightly drunken, conversation with myself and said mate about the importance of fidelity. It reaches the height of douchedom (is too a word) when you do it in the next room while your mate sleeps. Not cool. Not cool at all.

10. You sleep with your husband's mate. See above for further info.

Why don't you trust someone?

43 comments:

  1. Do you live on Melrose Place? Because it seems like the kind of thing that would happen there. Douchedom is totally a word.

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  2. Because whenever they speed and get pinged for it, they say their 20yo kid was driving cause they can't afford to lose any more points off their license.

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  3. Whew!! I hope this isn't all the same person! Although logically, it can't be!

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  4. I'm so relieved to say this ISN'T about me. :D  I haven't done any of these things. Yay! About that friend though..OUCH. Better off without her(?). AFTER you get your book back though. That'd make me mad! 


    Douchedom is totally a word. I don't care if DISQUS doesn't think so. Oddly enough DISQUS also doesn't think DISQUS is a word,lol. 

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  5. holy crap - number #5, seriously?!?

    have you ever considered a book because i believe just with this post alone, you could churn out a trilogy - EASILY.

    ~x~

    p.s. i love a Glow that can channel Seinfeld :-)

    p.p.s. did Map Guy know about number #5?

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  6. Quite a bit of it is actually :P

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  7. you know some really shit people. really shit.

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  8. I told him about it. He thought it was just as weird, especially considering she was married!!!

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  9. Absolutely a soap opera. Do you all go around giving the high eyebrow stare too?
    Is it wrong I'm hoping for some tantalising fallout from this?

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  10. I hope you feel better after that? 

    Btw, can I borrow five grand?  No, make it ten... I really wanna go on that cruise...

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  11. Is tsktsks really a word? Because I will totally use that on WWF.

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  12. It is! There is only one K though so you have to use the blank tile for the other one. It's the longest vowel-free word you can play according to an article I read about two minutes before I decided to write this post :)

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  13. Sure! Why not! Make sure to send me a post card though ;-)

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  14. There is a lot of #headdesk going on

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  15. Mine is catching people in lies or outright contradictions and when you pull them up on it instead of them owning it they try to lie some more.
    We all contradict ourselves at some stage, sometimes we change our minds, sometimes we forget a previous statement, sometimes we don't and are just spouting shit to try and keep everyone happy. Own it.

    Also, agreeing on the people who always bitch or gossip to you. If you constantly come to me saying "Oh such and such told me this but don't say anything" especially if it's something I consider very personal I automatically wonder if you're sharing very personal things I have confided in with you.  

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  16. Number 5 has my head reeling. You need a better class of friends. Maybe we SHOULD start hanging out?

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  17. Unfortunately I can relate to some of them.
    Thankfully I can't relate to all of them.
    Have you asked her for you book back?

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  18. Whoa Glow you have some pretty shit arse people in your life! 

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  19. Dont you just hate morons?  What a lovely wedding gift "heres a piece of my ass, enjoy!".

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  20. Someone did #5 and you didn't punch her in the face or vagina?! That is one of the rudest things I've read, what a fucking bitch! 

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  21. omg wtf!?! she was married as well!!!

    i can't decide whether she has balls or is just a slu.....

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  22. Wow, no wonder you are cranky! What arsehats! People who piss me off are those who tell so many lies they start to convince themselves they are true! Those who lie to innocent kids about the people they love and adore (eg, their parents) thereby confusing them and getting them caught up in grown-up dramas they shouldn't have to deal with yet. And people who meddle with other peoples' lives just out of spite and because they can.

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  23. I don't like you because you hate your pathetic life and are jealous of mine and act like a jerkwad every time we're together, including but not limited to the time you asked me if I wanted the wedding invitation I mailed your husband before the two of you were even together and said if I didn't want it you were going to throw it out.  Seriously?  You're throwing my wedding invitation out right in front of me?  Right this very second?  At a party in front of all these people?  You couldn't wait another 20 minutes until you got home to throw it out in your own trashcan?  No, of course not.  Because then you wouldn't have the satisfaction of knowing I know that you threw out my wedding invitation.

    To add to your number one: I especially love it when people say, "don't worry, I've driven much drunker than this."  Is that supposed to make anyone feel any better?

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  24. MPS doesn't have any mates.

    Well none I would sleep with anyway.

    ;)

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  25. Aren't you glad you're friend's with me instead ;)

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  26. Geez, Glowy. Maybe get the target(s?) of your venom in a room with your bloggy friends, and see what happens?? I'd like to have a go at a few of them!!

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  27. Is it sad that I can relate to all of these?

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  28. Woot - it worked! For the first time in yonks, it worked!

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  29. Oh my goodness... I know so many of these awful awful people...

    Borrow my precious book... Pretend you've had it forever when I call you on it sitting in your book case two years later... You are dead to me" bitch!

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  30. I wondered where all the affair having type people were. I'm an age where statistically they should be all over the place but I don't know any at all, boooring!

    This explains it though, they're all over your way.

    xox

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  31. Dude, those are some scummy people right there.

    Trust is broken for me the moment you abuse my niceness. Niceness does not equal too stupid to know what you're up to.

    I can relate to most of your list.

    Plus I can spell. Wanna play words with friends?

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  32. Glowless, that's one heck of a list!

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  33. #4 ha ha!!!  Boy, someone or some people have done you wrong, girl.  Number 1 - WTF?

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  34. You really have some 'special' friends.  I thought #1 was bad enough but #5???  Seriously, that chick has issues.

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  35. Hmmm. And I thought soapies were interesting. Nothing better than real life, I say.

    And why are you friends with her again? (Please tell me it was more than one person you were referring to!) OMG!

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  36. Im sorry this person you thought was a friend did these things to you.I dont think any of us get to go through life without someone scarring our hearts in some way.
    I dont trust my sister.I forgave her.I see her.Im there for her but will never trust her...ever again.
    About twenty four years ago I was engaged to be married and found out two months before the wedding that she was having an affair with my fiance.I got rid of him but I had to keep seeing her for the sake of the family.
    You go through life expecting to be hurt or betrayed along the way but never by family.
    I believe if people are not family and have a negative affect on your life you should get rid of them.Life is too short and your time is too precious to have anyone like that sharing it.xx

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  37. That makes my stomach turn. I have no words for how atrocious that is. So sorry you had to go through it x

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