being set on fire...
What was that you say? FIRE?
I used to know this guy, and when we first starting dating, it was wonderful. I love that exhilarating feeling that you get every time 'he' calls. When you hang on every word to try and squeeze as much detail out of him as possible to try and find out everything you possibly can about this hunk of spunk while trying and stay level headed about the whole ordeal.
Whilst my then potential husband had quite a sense of humour, albeit somewhat warped, I was seeing white picket fences and choosing linens and baby names.
Now, a girl has to look her best when playing the dating again, especially when your busy sussing out potential husband material. You know how it goes, spending ages choosing outfits, keeping up with the waxing of even the delicate area's, perfect makeup and even more perfect hair.
On a warm summer's day, this potential husband was using his usual warped humour, but this time he upped his game.
A lighter none the less.
He was flicking it. No biggy.
He was walking around flicking it. Yeah, no worries.
He flicked it at the back of my head.
Remember the perfectly styled hair I mentioned before? To keep it so perfect requires hair spray. In the case of my hair, LOTS of hair spray.
I heard a 'woof' sound, not like the dog makes, but like a monstrous fire ball makes.
I heard profanity. Lots of it.
I felt the my the back of my head being beaten around a little and a warming sensation.
And I smelt that pungent smell of hair burning.
Once all the flames were extinguished, I headed for the bathroom, slammed the door in the face of the fire bug and used a little profanity of my own ( obviously), and lent over the sink to pull out hand fulls of ash and pins that used to hold hair back. It took a while before they were needed again.
I used to date this guy. And then I married him. I figure, if he's already set me on fire, he can't do much worse! And if I can forgive him for that, it must be love. Plus I have a totally legitimate draw card on any argument. You don't find that often!
We also now have a no lighter policy in our home.
___ . . . ___ . . . ___
She's a Mama to three gorgeous kiddies, wife to a farmer but not a farmer's wife, a lover of chocolate, icecream, fabric, ribbons, sewing and all things crafty.
She's currently trying to quit smoking, which might be a bit tricky considering her car was side swiped yesterday and she was held at GUN POINT! Go send her some words of encouragement on Twitter.
Next week: Get your tutus ready for TutuAmes
Send your S/He Did What!? submission to Glowless@wheresmyglow.com