A boy and his LEGO {giveaway}

This is a C1 post

For full details please see my disclosure policy

It is no secret that we are huge LEGO fans in this house. It started with the Duplo but whilst Tricky still enjoys it he doesn't find it challenging any more and is definitely out growing it. Meaning the last few presents he's got have all been actual, small, step-on-in-the-middle-of-the-night-at-your-own-peril, LEGO.

The Trickster was lucky enough to receive some LEGO in the mail the other day for review purposes. When he saw the box he was, well, see for yourself:

Doesn't everyone lay on the floor and hug their LEGO?

What I hadn't actually thought about was that I would have to put those suckers together before any such child-review could take place, and do it whilst a super impatient toddler looked on wondering why they didn't come out of the box ready to play with.

Oh crap, what have I gotten myself in to?

I've never actually put a LEGO design together before. I used to play with it a heap when I was little and build all sorts of things, but it was more freestyle and I didn't have any fancy sets that actually became something specific. But it was easier than I thought and required much less swearing under my breath than anticipated while Tricky pointed and said "What's this piece? Where does that one go? Is it ready yet?" over and over and over again.

Tricky was over the moon when it was all put together and the nee-naw nee-naw of police sirens have been heard here ever since. I was kinda chuffed with my LEGO assembling abilities though I was less thrilled when MapGuy came home and pointed out I'd put the steering wheel in the wrong spot - I was following instructions! I don't care if it was left hand drive!!

Chase McCain on the job

The set was so detailed and unfortunately I think a lot of that detail will just end up being sucked up the vacuum cleaner because a walkie-talkie just looks like fluff when I'm standing up. The one thing I didn't like about the set was the spike strip - although it was hilarious in it's attention to detail, it doesn't do anything else and Tricky just pulled it apart immediately and it's already lost (I'll vacuum tomorrow and it will be gone for ever). But I can't blame that on LEGO, he is under the official age range of the product.

I'm all for free play so I think a few sets of just blocks that aren't shaped to make something specific will be on the cards next, but since Tricky is car mad he has no complaints and has the cops chasing the bank robber constantly (I'll spare you the dialogue from when he catches them and sends the robber to his room - it's a cute-to-the-mother-only kinda thing).

Handcuffed and read his rights

I've got three awesome sets of the High Speed Chase (RRP $39.99) from the LEGO City range, featuring the daring and oh-so-suave, hero cop, Chase McCain. I bet all the LEGO girls swoon over his plastic hair and drawn on chin dimple. I'm kinda taken with the bad guy's mo' to be honest.

To enter click here to go to the Facebook entry page. If you're not on the 'Book (and I really can't blame you), enter via comment below telling me your favourite LEGO memory. 

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Pregnancy, Pain and Pilates

This is a C2 post

For full details see my disclosure policy

Exercise and I do not mix. Unless you count walking on a completely flat surface at a leisurely pace, my body does not like to move and I end up in so much pain that I can't get out of bed for a few days. The only vigorous activity you will see me doing is dancing with much help from alcohol and shed load of pain killers to numb me to my eyeballs. Because sometimes even I need to let my hair down. Healthy, huh?

I've struggled with chronic pain since I was little. I was shipped around to all sorts of doctors and specialists, my favourite of which said it was all in my head and I need a psychiatrist immediately. To which I replied, of COURSE I need a fucking psychiatrist, but that is actually a separate matter to the whole can't move my legs thing. The two are related (I get sore, it's depressing, duh) but they are not mutually exclusive.

So for donkey's years I've been through all sorts of treatments including major opioids, mindfulness training, orthotics, you name it, and nothing has helped. Well, OK, the drugs definitely helped, but they screwed with me a lot and I quite like the ability to digest food so I had to stop taking them. I had given up. This was just how I was.

Then Jacqui Gilmour from Queens Road Physiotherapy offered me a rehabilitative physio pilates session. Other than it being a mouthful I thought "well it can't hurt to try" and then laughed my ass off because yes, yes it can hurt to try if you're me. But I went along anyway.

Jacqui offers pilates for chronic pain, lower back pain and the like, but also specifically for women's health: think pilates for pelvic floor, pregnancy, incontinence, prolapse and all those fabulous things that sometimes come after carrying a watermelon in your uterus for nine months. 

 

She watched me walk, asked me a few questions, prodded me (gently) then proceeded to tell me where I hurt... and WHY. How many bloody years have I been asking these questions and in a matter of minutes she had answered them.

Turns out I don't activate my muscles correctly - I use the wrong ones to do certain movements so they're having a serious marathon workout every time I take a step and other muscles just aren't working and are wasting away, getting weaker and weaker (meaning the other muscles have to do even more work to make up for it). It's a vicious cycle... but it can be corrected.

I got on "The Reformer" and after singing Reformer to the tune of Informer a few times I started figuring out how to use the muscles that don't want to move... and... I DIDN'T DIE!! Although I nearly wet myself laughing when Jacqui kept telling me to "Spread your butt! Relax it! Relaxed bum!" - so maybe I should see her for some pelvic floor work too. 
 

I left feeling elated and then promptly burst in to tears. Could this be the answer that has eluded me for over half of my life? Could this lead to a reduction in pain? And if so, why the fuck hadn't any of these specialists over the years told me to do it? They just repeated their stock standard response of "try water aerobics" despite me letting them know that anything in water hurts twice as much. There was only one way to find out: keep going back.

I've been back weekly for sessions (that I pay for) and do a lot of "homework" on a giant rolling pin thing and what looks suspiciously like a dog toy (I'm assured they're actually pilates equipment) and I have had LESS PAIN! HALLE-FREKAIN'-LUJAH!

Because I have private health cover that pays for some of it, the sessions are costing me less than $30. I will keep going back in the hope that the pain reduction continues and that it stops my hip separating like it did when I was preggers with Tricky so I don't have to have my ass taped again.

Have you tried pilates for an injury or pain condition? Did you cry like me?

Shakin' My Beauty Booty

Did you notice my new side bar bling? That little image over there that says "I write at The Shake"?

I know, I'm as shocked as you are that I'm over there with all those absolutely fabulous women, and to be honest, more than a little intimidated. But you know what? I'm so freakin' excited about it. My first article, The Top 5 Lies Your Beauty Therapist Tells You, went up the other day and I think a few beauty therapists might be a bit pissed at me for it.

{I might also write non-beauty stuff for The Shake when I'm a bit ranty. Case in point: Other Peoples' Kids}

I'll be writing over there once a fortnight or so about all things beauty and make up. Yeah, slightly different to my normal shits and giggles. So what gives me the "authority" to write about all the fancy beauty shiz? Well, lemme tell you a story... fair warning, it involves me showing off a bit:

In 2005 I was sitting on my mentally ill, obese, disability pension-receiving arse with Map Guy by my side wondering what the fuck I was doing with my life. Despite loving it, I didn't feel like going back to uni to complete my degree that I had put on hold a few years earlier - I wanted to do something completely different and having always been interested in beauty therapy and seeing that there was an open day at the campus down the road I decided to go and have a look.

Map Guy came with me, we got the official tour and were told about the course. The facilitator mentioned a student of the year award and I decided, on the spot, that I would put all my efforts in to this. I turned to Map Guy and said "I'm going to win that award". He smiled at me, squeezed my hand and replied with full confidence, "I know".

Fast forward twelve months and I was being presented with the 2006 Student of the Year award, receiving a scholarship to attend the International Dermal Institute, being nominated for WA Vocational Student of the Year and being head hunted and employed by a top salon (who would approach the top student every year from our campus).

And I have to say, I was so, SO freakin' proud of myself to go from relying on a disability pension to student of the year to sought after employee in the space of twelve months. I went on to complete my diploma and in the following years worked as a beauty therapist and makeup artist for thousands of clients (read: saw a hell of a lot of labias).

So there you have it. I know what the big words on the back of a bottle of moisturizer mean though I can't always pronounce them. I know what effect they have on the skin. I know a few tips and tricks to either achieve or fake your own Glow and that the absolute best thing you can do for your skin is to wear an SPF 30 sunscreen when the UV Index hits 3 or higher (and reapply it!).

Now that I've successfully shown off, tell me, whaddya wanna know? Any questions I can answer for you over at The Shake?

An interview (and *ahem* art critique) with illustrator Lisbeth Zwerger

Last week I had the honour of meeting, for the second time, one of the world’s most acclaimed artists, Lisbeth Zwerger. I don’t have much of a memory of our first meeting as I was about five and only really interested in the fact that she gave me a present – a copy of The Nutcracker… that she had illustrated! The perks of having an illustrator as a friend of the family!

Lisbeth has been illustrating the Classics, like Grimm & Andersen fairy tales, for over 30 years and has won multiple awards including the coveted Hans Christian Anderson Lifetime Achievement Award and is currently nominated for the prestigious Astrid Lingren Award - it’s like the Oscar of the childrens’ literature scene.

She’s in Perth on a whirlwind holiday after attending the opening of her latest exhibition in Taiwan where she shook hands with hundreds of devoted fans and signed all their books, no doubt getting a serious case of “autograph-signers-cramp”. And if you’re going to suffer from that, best you do it in a Louis Vuitton store, no? Makes the pain go away much quicker.

I had the opportunity for a tongue-in-cheek interview with Lisbeth, and considering she’s famous and used to actual reporters interviewing her, I was most impressed that she agreed… particularly since it actually just turned in to a bit of a chat since my interview skills are null and void.

Clockwise from top: Image from The Little Mermaid, Lisbeth trying not to laugh at my art, signing the giveaway book,
a selection of Lisbeth's books, the giveaway book, the Louis Vuitton store signing, signature inside the book,

We laughed about how her favourite thing to draw when she was little was princesses so it was only fitting she go on to illustrate books with princesses, goblins and giants and whatnot. Shows extreme dedication to all things magical, I think!

I asked her advice about keeping Tricky’s “works of art” since I will have them coming out of my ears soon. With a sage nod she suggested relying heavily on the grandparents and their fridge. Clever woman indeed! Sadly not many of her early drawings survived, I suppose because every parent thinks their child is super talented but you don’t actually envision them becoming an uber famous artist! Plus eBay didn’t exist then.

On words of wisdom for up and coming illustrators, she had this recommendation: “Believe in yourself but stay self critical”.

But it was time to get on to the serious business of getting my own “illustration” (and I use that term really loosely) critiqued, after a suggestion from Blundermum. I handed my art work over and, bless her, she tried her hardest not to laugh.

I'm gonna put this on eBay "as critiqued by Lisbeth Zwerger"!

Lisbeth described my work as bold and purposeful, with no hesitation in the strokes, and abstract, yet understandable. I think I’m going to use that as my new tag line, it’s the best thing anyone has ever said about me!

Lisbeth is currently working on “Leonce and Lena” to help celebrate author Georg Buechner’s 200th birthday (happy birthday, dude), and her works are available for purchase at www.minedition.com, www.amazon.com or childscapes.com/bookpages/zwerger.html or through your favourite book shop. Signed prints are available through www.minedition.com and www.illustrationcupboard.com.

Lisbeth has kindly donated a signed copy of her award winning book “Hans Christian Anderson’s Fairy Tales” for one lucky reader to win.

To enter, use the form below to tell me your favourite story when you were growing up or the one you love reading to your children now.


*For full terms and conditions please see here
*This is not sponsored in any way, Lisbeth is a friend of the family and on hearing from my aunty that I had a blog, decided that it might be fun to be on it!

How to survive the first day of day care

Your sweet child is starting day care. None of this half day, play date, introduction bullshit. The actual real deal where you leave. For hours. What do you do? How do you cope?

Well, luckily for you I've put together this handy step by step guide on how to get through the day. You're welcome.

It's all about being prepared.

1. In the week leading up to day care, make sure to mention how much of an awesome time the child had the previous week. Try a sing-song voice, use jazz hands and interpretive dance to convey just how amazing it really is.
2. Run around like a man/woman possessed at 11:48pm the night before because you have only just remembered you need to label the thirty pairs of shorts and jocks you're sending along with your newly toilet trained toddler.
3. Act like a clown on crack on the morning of the big day. Happy, happy, joy, joy and all that shit. This is going to be The Best Day Ever!
4. When you arrive and the kid starts whingeing that they no longer want to go, despite having jumped for joy at the prospect mere moments ago, forge on in. Skip if you must.
5. Take the obligatory "first day photo". Wonder when your kid got so freakin' big.
   
   
6. Promise you'll be back, promise extra big cuddles, a trip to Disneyland, whatever it takes to make your spawn put away his quivering bottom lip. No matter what, KEEP IT TOGETHER!
7. Follow the lead of the carer who suggests your child wave over the fence as you drive off. Bolt to the car and burst in to floods of tears. Drive off tooting and waving like a maniac.
8. Come home and lay on the couch feeling like the worst parent ever despite the fact that this is going to be really good for the boy.
9. Do ALL THE HOUSEWORK. Make a mess preparing a massive casserole, drop some on the floor and pick it up and eat it - the floor is cleaner than an operating room right now so might as well.
10. Watch the clock. Wonder how soon is too soon to call and check.
11. Have a cup of tea. Marvel at how it tastes so different when consumed hot.
12. Call the day care centre. Fret when it goes to message bank four times. Finally get through and hear that your spawn has been whingeing a little bit for mum but not crying and easily distracted with ALL THE TOYS. On hearing that he is asleep at noon, feel sure that they must have drugged him.
13. Watch the clock some more. Clean some more. Put music on with swear words just because you can.
14. Cave in and pick up the kid half an hour earlier than you said you would. Find him sitting with his peers eating afternoon tea.
15. When he sees you and his lip quivers and he flops in to your arms with an "oh you DID come back" sigh, burst in to tears in front of the staff. They've seen it all before and will just ignore it but the other toddlers might think you're weird though... it's best they learn now anyway.
16. When your child hands you their first piece of "day care art" feel immensely proud despite the fact that it is just a box with red paint slopped all over it. Proceed to get teary again like the giant sap you are. Then feel a bit weird and wonder how long you actually have to keep it for.
    
    
17. Listen to him describe how he called "Mum! Mum!" as you drove off tooting the horn. Die a little bit inside.
18. Go home and give your kid an icecream and ask him if he wants to go back to day care next week. When he asks "Will you come back?" cry floods of tears again and promise that you will always, always come back for him no matter what.

I'm promised it gets easier. It better.

Were you a wreck on the first day of day care? Exactly how long do I have to keep the art work for?