The Recovered Aquaphobe

Tricky vs Water has been an ongoing saga around these parts, and if you've been around for a while you'd know he had a full blown phobia of water on his face or head - it's not that he just didn't like it, he was terrified. But I'm ecstatic to say he has now overcome it. Insert jazz hands, pom poms, confetti and a lazer light show here.

I have had a heap of people ask what we did to help him through, so I thought I'd share our successes (and many failures) with you here. All kids are different, which is really freakin' frustrating when you're looking for answers because dammit sometimes an easy solution would be awesome. But this is what we tried and the end results, seen in the video below (a #mumbrag video if ever there was!!), mean we couldn't be more proud of our guy. 

Hair Washing 

THEN: Hair washing was a nightmare for everyone involved. Going on hours of research (i.e. the articles popping up all over the web about "I stopped washing my hair three years ago and it's never been healthier"), I figured that skipping hair washing wouldn't be such a bad thing for a while. It's not like he was playing in mud every day.

Hair and Face Wash fails:

• Asking him to lean his head back - as soon as the water would touch him, he'd instinctively coil inward making the water go straight over his face and eyes resulting in a meltdown
• Letting him do it himself - big fat nope. He'd quite happily lather the shampoo but rinsing it out himself was not happening.
• Letting him choose a special shampoo - made no difference at all! 
• Using every single contraption made for "tearless" hairwashing. Nope, nope, nope. The the fancy hats, the rings, you name it. Tried it. Didn't work for him. 
• Yelling. Yeah, not proud of myself, but I'll admit that I did it in a moment (or two or three or four...) of pure frustration. Surprise, surprise, this didn't work.

Hair and Face Wash wins:

• Playfully splashing or tipping water on the back of his head no where near his face. 
• Using a progressively wetter wash cloth to wash his face - we started out as a bit of a "spit and polish" family and over time progressed to damp cloths then wet cloths as he could tolerate it. 
• Covering his eyes with a wash cloth himself - holding it himself gave him a feeling of control that he was desperate for. I would still need to be really careful with where I was pouring water, but his fear diminished massively. 
• Laying on the laundry bench and hanging his head in to the sink - it hurt his neck a little, but he would keep his head completely back in the position 
• Laying in a very shallow bath, his head resting on an old two litre bottle as a cushion - like the laundry sink, he'd leave his head right back and the water wouldn't touch his face
• Letting him wash my hair
• Reward chart - this was only brought in at the very end when he was already comfortable with getting his hair washed but still needed a little encouragement to let me do it daily after swimming lessons when he was stinking of chlorine! It would not have worked earlier because no amount of stickers can calm a phobia. Not even holographic dinosaur ones. 

NOW: We can wash Tricky's face and hair without any issues. He still doesn't like water in his eyes (does anyone?), but now that he isn't scared, he will calmly hold his head back until everything is finished. If any drips down his face he'll brush away or ask for a cloth if there is a lot. Champion.

Swimming

THEN: Tricks would happily paddle in a wading pool without dramas, and run along the shoreline in a sheltered cove, but getting wet above waist level happened for the FIRST time ever in January last year! We were so proud. 

Swim Wins:

• GOGGLES - I went straight to a "good" brand of goggles rather than buying something cheap that would let water in. I wanted these babies to be water tight or he'd never trust another pair. I went with Zoggs and so far, so good. 
• Floaties - we got a proper floatie for his back but just some cheapie ones for his arms, and he liked the security of them, even if he was only in waist deep water.
• No splashing - this meant we could only swim when there weren't very many people around
• Small swimming lesson group with friends - I gave Tricky the choice of participating in his school swimming lessons or not, and he chose to do it. Peer pressure, not wanting to be left out? I'm not sure, but it helped him enormously to have people he knew around. His first swimming lesson had me in tears I was so happy to see him trying so hard. 
• PRAISE - we let Tricks know at every opportunity that he was doing a good job, and that all we wanted was for him to try but he could stop at any time. This meant that sometimes he was being lavished with praise for going in waist deep - because for him, it was a mammoth achievement so we treated it as such. He needed lots of encouragement and thrived on turning around to see a thumbs up or a wave from me sitting by the pool. 
• Acknowledging his fear - letting Tricky share his feelings without fear of ridicule was really important to us and I think it definitely helped. He knew he was not going to get in trouble and we made sure we never said he was being silly/naughty/misbehaving when he was too terrified to get in the water. 

Swim Fails:

• Assuming that because he swum so confidently three weeks ago, that he'd be right back in to it at the same level (he needs a little warm up after a few weeks off)
• Big groups of people he doesn't know well 
• Slides with water sprays
• Forgetting goggles - ASK ME HOW I KNOW!

NOW: This dude just amazes me. He put his face in the water for the first time in November last year and now he appears to have grown gills and is diving under the water at every opportunity and bloody loving it. He is still cautious, which definitely isn't a bad thing, and even mentioned to his swim instructor that he was scared when they were simulating falling in a pool so they could get to the edge, but he's come so far in two months... just look:

Tricky has overcome his water phobia and then some! My boy grew gills!! 🐠 From blowing bubbles in water for the first time in November to THIS! 🐠 Details on the blog this afternoon #swimming #partboypartfish #freestyle #aquaphobia #waterphobia #MumBrag

A video posted by glow (@glowless) on Jan 14, 2016 at 10:05pm PST

Building his confidence around water has been so important to us, not just because washing the hair of a terrified child is exhausting, but his for his enjoyment and for his safety in such a water mad country. 

Sharp pointy things near my mouth scare me

I'm a bit scared of the dentist. Not a particular dentist, just dentists in general. Actually anyone who comes at my mouth with sharp pointy things. Not phobic though, I reserve that for feet. Though I imagine a dentist's feet to be particularly scary. 

The last time I went to the dentist I was 146 weeks pregnant and the hygienist looked distinctly worried I was going to give birth there and then. I was having a widsom tooth removed and was wondering what was going to be more painful, this or squeezing a child out of my vag. For the record, child birth hurt more but I got a cute baby afterwards - after my extraction all I got was a bloody tooth in a jar and a jaw ache.

My teeth have been feeling a little extra sensitive lately and I had a mild toothache the other night. I needed to bite the bullet (but not hard enough to break a tooth) and actually see a dentist. Knowing I would never have the guts to book in myself, Map Guy rang up and made an appointment then let me know when it was (thanks, MG!).

This morning I rocked up and I was instantly transported to back to my school days and a Catholic confessional. I wasn't sure if I was meant to bless myself or not, but I had to tell them my "sins". And my sin is a shocker: for 12 of the last 17 weeks I've barely brushed my teeth.

Yes, let's just sit with that feral thought for a moment, shall we? Rank.

ARGH! All the pointy things!

The thing is, putting anything in my mouth would make me spew. And you get no points for making blow job jokes here, because I've already made them all. Maturity, I haz it. So the toothbrush would come out twice a day and get a mere flick over the teeth until such point that I gagged. Usually around the 10 second mark. Not exactly what you'd call good oral hygiene.

You don't get absolution from a dentist for your oral hygiene sins. Instead, you get reminder that dental floss was invented for a reason and two tiny little fillings.

Or at least I will when I go back to get them in a few weeks time (already booked the appointment, now I just have to not cancel it).

I was also told I brush my teeth way too hard and am brushing off the enamel. I didn't even know that was possible! It's not bad, but if I want it fixed now before it gets worse it'll cost a cool grand... and THAT hurts way more than any dental work.

Are you afraid of the dentist? Do you feel like a dick wearing a bib or do you just pretend you're at a lobster restaurant?

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Nomophobia Edition

Hey Flogstars,

I'm jittery. And it's nothing to do with spending a night in a repulsive holiday home with a mouse infestation.

It's because up here, I have no phone coverage. Nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero (have you noticed that N and Z completely steal all the words meaning nothing? Letter hogs!!!).

I have Nomophobia. It sounds like the fear of yummy things, but it's not... it's the fear of being without your phone. Dun dun DUUUUUN!

Whilst I do actually have my phone with me, I have no signal because my provider don't have any towers up this way. I could use another tower but the 4S doesn't let you turn off 3G - first world problems, right? Hey, after spending a night inhaling mouse shit, I'm allowed to be a bit shirty, gimme a break.

What makes it so much worse is that I have people emailing and tweeting me saying "Did you get my text?". Nooooo I didn't! What did you say? Was it important? Was it funny? Please don't think I'm ignoring you!!! Don't leeeeaaaaveeeeee meeeeeeeee!!!. Or *ahem* you know, something like that. 

Do you have Nomophobia? Will a bit of a Flog help???

How to FlogYoBlog

1. Follow Where's My Glow?
2. Bow down at the alter of Mummy Time; Blog-goddess, all round groovy gal and creator of FYBF
3. Grab the FYBF button and post it on your sidebar or in the post you're linking up
4. Link in your favourite/best post from the week (don't just put your homepage URL)
5. Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger then be nice and spread the comment love

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get the InLinkz code

Footloose

I have Podophobia. It's not the fear of a group of whales, or the fear of peas (though I don't like peas, but that's an entirely different blog post). It's a phobia of feet.

Not scared of, not a bit afraid of, not a dislike of. A full blown phobia - an irrational fear completely disproportionate to the Danger (yes, capital D, Danger). It even got on my 50 facts list.

To me, feet are dangerous, scary bastards that need to be kept in shoes at all times. If they can be funky shoes then even better (how do I love shoes and hate feet?).

I ♥ Shoooooooes

I will dry retch at the sight of a foot, even a picture of a foot. If a foot comes near me, I will panic, my heart will start racing and I will usually cry. I have even been known to request people only use the metric system around me, I will have none of this 6 foot tall business, you are 182.9cm thankyouverymuch. OK, maybe I made that last bit up.

Stoopid right? Yup. I can see you all nodding and making the international loony sign. It's OK, it's appropriate right now.

But (there is always a but), there is one set of feet that I love. Tricky's (like that wasn't predictable).

So baby soft with chubby little toes just perfect for playing 'This little piggie' on and making both of us giggle in delight.

I could nibble, kiss and breathe in his feet all day, luxuriating in their pristine, virgin state.

Well I could... until the bugger learned how to walk last month.

The silken skin is gone, replaced with tiny little toughened callouses on the edges of his toes from digging them in to the ground, willing himself to balance for just a few more steps. His heels roughened from the scraaaape of not quite picking his feet all the way up as he wobbles along.

They are now, to someone like me, completely off limits. No more touching, and definitely no more smooches. Ick. Yuck. Vomit.

My entire approach to him, well more specifically to his feet, has changed... and it's not good. In fact, Map Guy has pulled me up on it, told me I better figure out how to get over it before I end up giving Tricks a foot phobia too...

And he's right. Dammit.

I don't want Tricky to be afraid of his feet; to want to run away and cry at preschool when all the kids take their shoes off; to think that feet will somehow hurt him; to hyperventilate every time he tries on shoes because some other revolting foot just might have already touched it.

So every day now I try to touch his feet and not gag. It's working... I'm slowly getting there. There is still Buckley's chance I will be touching adult feet, but, you know, small steps. Pun most definitely intended.

Do you have a phobia? Do you worry about 'passing it on' to your kids?

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