A Vuly Good Backyard Makeover

Hasn’t it been the absolute weirdest year? Like so many people we have been spending more time at home, and even now with restrictions almost completely gone in WA, we are still little homebodies. It’s my socially anxious idea of heaven. Ahhh.

Staying home so much and looking at my tiny little boring, dust bowl of a backyard was a bit depressing though. It was brown and sandy with a few pot plants about the place. A little makeover was necessary.

MG ripped up all the old, very dead grass, injuring his wrist in the process. He plays a full contact sport and injured himself gardening. Top effort, mate. He had to rest it for a few weeks and then compacted the ground and laid some pavers while still in a splint - shh, don’t tell his doctor.

I chipped away old mortar from our back fence with a chisel and hammer, and spent eight hours scrubbing with acid and a wire brush before I re-pointed the fence. I’m extremely thankful for podcasts and YouTube instructional videos! Saving money and sanity one DIY tutorial at a time.

Annoying delays by the company laying the grass were sending me batty (seriously people, measure, don’t eyeball things!) but were all but forgotten though when it was finally time to set up the best trampoline for a small yard. 

She's a beauty!

We were extraordinarily lucky to be gifted a Vuly Ultra trampoline. We chose a small to fit perfectly in our little space. Even though it’s the smallest in the range it’s still big enough for two kids under 10 to play on. I fit on easily, too, able to bounce away with the shade in place since it’s 40cm taller than the nearest competitor. Yes, I jumped on it, why are you laughing? MG being over 6 foot tall hits his head on the shade if he bounces too high, so he’ll have to be a reserved jumper or take off the shade and bounce in the sunshine.

I love that the net has an envelope opening instead of a zipper that could accidentally be left open for someone to tumble through. There’s no calling out “close the flap!” and worrying someone is going to fall off. It’s also a very tight weave, meaning the kids can’t poke their fingers through. Because we all know that the second they put a finger through it becomes a larger hole and within a few days they’ll be seeing if they can fit two fingers and then a tennis ball. No chance of that happening here at all.

The kids haven’t gotten off it since it arrived. When she was absolutely exhausted from bouncing, Bobbin ran inside and reappeared with an armful of toys and a picnic set. Trampoline tea parties are the absolute best. It was a really hot day and the trampoline made the perfect setting with the shade cover over top and the breeze coming through underneath.

Physical fitness is really important for my two. They are both eyeing off new belts in martial arts soon so some extra cardio work is needed to get them through a gruelling 1.5-2 hour grading- bouncing on the trampoline provides a solid workout without the pounding of joints that running can bring. Plus it’s MUCH more fun!

Hearing that a friend has had a Vuly in their yard for eight years that looks almost new makes me think I have many, many years of sending the kids out to play ahead of me. Thank you Vuly!

Vuly Play is a leading designer of outdoor play equipment. From swing sets for kids, to monkey bars and trampolines, trust Vuly when it comes to quality and safety.

For a list of our TOP 5 Games on a Trampoline visit us at Perth School Holidays

Arbonne 30 Days To Healthy Living Review

I was gifted this program, but the review is impartial

I got to trial the Arbonne 30 Days to Healthy Living program in November and as with everything I do, I'm going to share it all with you. Because oversharing is my thing. As with any review it's straight up truth, so you'll find me talking about things I loved... and the things that I didn't.

My consultant, the lovely Angie, contacted me on a day when I'd just inhaled a standard Glow-sized serving of chocolate. Which translates to an entire block. Because why buy a Mars bar for $1.50 when I can get an entire block for $2.50, amiright? 

I looked down at my gut, and though I'm feeling pretty good about what my body is doing lately (all that martial arts is making me stronger and my mindfulness training is helping with chronic pain), this belly fat that hangs over my pants is more than just a muffin top. It's a bit of a bakery top. It means my hip to waist ratio is all buggered and that is associated with a higher risk of heart attack and stroke. 

With smudgy chocolate fingers I typed out my reply. "I'd like to try it. Because something has to change."

I wasn't just the block of chocolate. Because in the scheme of things, one block of chocolate isn't an instant heart attack. But one of those a day? I'd also buy two packets of mud cake truffles so that I could finish off one before I got home and then look better when I shared the remaining packet with others. I was eating drive-through chips every few days and finishing half a jar of Nutella in one sitting. I just food shamed myself. Oops.

I received my goodies and got started with the help of Angie and the online support group. I was cutting out alcohol, dairy, sugar, gluten, caffeine, and as far as I was concerned, anything delicious. They're not cut out forever, just the 30 Days until you reintroduce them and see how you feel.

If I'm on meal replacement shakes, you better believe I'm drinking them from a skull glass 💀💀💀 #30daystohealthyliving

A post shared by G L O W (aka Trae) (@finding_my_glow) on Nov 5, 2017 at 3:04pm PST

On day one I added the shake powder to water and it tasted freaking horrible. I'd read so much about the program and everyone raved about the shakes tasting good. I'm certain they all lied. I choke down as much of it as I can without gagging. Not the best start, but at least it was a pretty skull glass. 

By the late afternoon of day one I had a raging sugar withdrawal headache but hadn't murdered anyone so I thought I'd have a Fizz Stick. I have been known to vomit my guts up when headaches get bad, and as I sipped on the drink and noted that it in fact tasted quite pleasant... bleeeuuuurrrrgghhh. Yep. Spewed up my first Fizz Stick. Nice. 

In the evening I was craving a cuppa as I usually have one in bed before I go to sleep, so I grabbed a herbal tea and washed down some paracetamol. 

Safe to say, day one kinda sucked balls. But I wasn't hungry, so that is a plus.

Day two was much better (don't panic, I'm not going through every day in detail) by the simple swap of water to almond milk in my smoothies. It tasted less revolting, but it still didn't taste good. It wasn't until day four or five that I was knocking back the smoothies with ease and actually enjoying the taste.

I'm pretty sure I was so used everything being coated in a fuck tonne of sugar that the smoothies tasted like cardboard in comparison until my tastebuds had gotten over the initial assault. And get over it they did. I stopped adding berries and the like to the smoothies and had them plain. 

I was hoping these 30 Days would be a way to reset my thinking, my tastebuds, my habits... hell, reset my whole bloody brain if possible. 

By the end of week one, I'd lost 3kg, wasn't feeling hungry, and felt like I had more energy. 

In week two I was confused over the nutritional content of the shakes and was asking questions all over the place about the sugar percentage. Now I'm no sugar nazi (OK I am a bit), but I didn't understand the whole don't eat sugar thing if the shakes had sugar in them. A whopping 20% sugar, at that. 

I was shown articles on cane sugar and it's nutritional benefits; claims it was good for everyone from pregnant women to diabetics because of the essential nutrients in it. But, um, newsflash, you know that white sugar you use at home? 100% cane sugar. I'll wait why you go check. It's just milled in to a finer powder, that's all. And if you're claiming that cane sugar helps with all sorts of things, then, well why am I meant to be cutting out sugar for the month? It made no sense to me. 

There was lots of talking back and forth and I have the feeling I was not very popular in the private Facebook group with the other people doing the 30 Days. A lot of my fellow 30 Day-ers seemed really in to woo, and that's fine, but I'm more of a science gal myself. My consultant was quick to help out and was very gracious, even when I was ready to quit.

It became obvious that other people doing the 30 Days didn't have any idea on how to read nutritional labels. One participant even told me that because the ingredients didn't add up to 100 grams I couldn't do a percentage calculation. Umm, yes I can. Or, just quietly, I could look in the very next column where they've done it for you in grams per 100 grams. Perhaps one way to improve the program would be information on understanding labels. If you can't read a nutritional panel then there is no way you can figure out what is going in to your body. Don't rely on the marketing, the claims of "fat free" and "5 stars", actually READ the label and find out exactly what is in it. 

By the end of week two I was liking the way I was feeling. I wasn't needing a nap every day (still needed them sometimes because of some other stuff going on with my iron and B12 - don't read that link if you're eating, BTW), and I was able to focus more. I had only lost an additional 1kg, but I wasn't here for rapid weight loss, I was trying to jump start my food awareness.

I found myself craving sugar again in week three. All dried fruit is off the table for the 30 Days, but I bent the rules. Because if eating two dates is going to satisfy my craving and I can move on and not obsess about chocolate until the point where I crack and eat a whole block, then I'm going to do it.

Week three also included some meals out, so I tried my hardest to make choices that would fall in to the majority of the 30 Days rules. At home I was cooking as many of the meals on the plan as I could - I told the kids that I was cutting out some food for a while to see how my body reacted, because they are impressionable and as much as I would like to shift a few kilos, as far as they are concerned, I love everything about my body and THEY love my squishy tummy (to the point where they like to pull up my shirt and rub their faces on it). Teaching body positivity is hard, yo!

Week three was probably the trickiest because I was just bloody over it! But I buckled down and tried as much as I could to keep to the rules. Well, the majority of them anyway. I had to eat later at night than was recommended because my martial arts classes don't finish until 8pm and I'm not eating before them or I will chunder everywhere. And that's what is good about it, that you can be flexible with it if you like, or 100% committed if you are a hard and fast rules person.

Week four was the home stretch and I did have a sense of "this is it, you're nearly there!". People were starting to notice I had lost a little bit of weight, and that of course is a great motivator, a massive "SEE, IT IS WORKING!".

At the end of it all, I had lost 6kg, curbed my sugar cravings, and I had gotten much better at actually listening to my body's hunger and thirst signals.

But what about now? What about after Christmas and New Year and OMG THE STRESS OF BUYING A HOUSE?

I have reintroduced all the foods, and nothing made me feel bloated or unwell, so I'm happy about that (any icky feelings could have signified that I was sensitive or intolerant to something). I am pretty sure my stomach shrunk because I'm still not as hungry as I used to be, and I get fuller quicker.

I haven't stepped back on the scales because I am generally not a fan of them, preferring "non scale victories". I can tell you my clothes are looser (the bum in my jeans is baggy af), people are commenting that I'm looking slimmer, and I feel pretty damn good.

Food wise, I am back on the Coke Zero, because I don't do drugs or smoke so I gotta have a vice, OK? And I still crave sugar... but I don't give in to it anywhere near as much as I used to. Some cake for morning tea yesterday meant I was full until after 8pm and a massive training session. That is unheard of previously!

I've also worked on my portion sizes a lot, because as a card carrying member of the clean plate brigade, I was always wanting to finish everything served up after having it drilled in to me that leaving something was wasteful.

Overall, it helped me reassess what food I was using to fuel my body. How much food I was consuming, and why - I was very used to eating because it was "lunch time" as opposed to eating when I was hungry.

Is the 30 Days to Healthy Living for you? Well it all depends on your own goals and priorities. For me, it was enough to kick start my better eating choices so it did help me find my glow. I'll leave you with my final likes and dislikes about the program:

LIKES:

• Supportive nature of the Facebook group
• Motivational posts in the Facebook group
• The taste of the shakes (eventually ha!)
• Most of the meal plan and recipes
• 100% money back guarantee
• Weekly call from Angie to check how I was going
• There was no hard sell to sign up again or join as a seller

DISLIKES:

• Lack of peer-reviewed science based nutrition information
• Promoting of untrue nutritional claims in the Facebook group (alkaline diets changing the pH of the blood etc)
• The taste of the Greens Balance vegetable concentrate

You can contact Perth Arbonne consultant Angie here.

Would you do meal replacement shakes?

Bobbin is starting school and yes I'm ready

This post contains a product I was sent for review

It's January, and that means parents all over Australia are counting down the days until the new school year starts.

I've been asked quite a few times if Bobbin will be in year one this year, but I have let them know she won't be in year one until 2020! She seems a lot older than she is because she's confident, headstrong, and has a vocabulary that surprises us all (like when she drops the F bomb - that is really a shock to the system). She is a typical second child, ticking a heap of stereotype boxes.

This year she is heading to kindergarten five days per fortnight. Unrelated: did you know that Americans don't use the word fortnight? Bizarre! But I digress.

Day care drop off and pre-kindy drop off were traumatic events for her, right up until the last few sessions last year (where bribery may or may not have featured), so I am filled with trepidation wondering what it will be like now. Tears? Refusal to let go of my hand? Will she almost dislocate my finger like she did once when they had to peel her off me at day care? Will she be THAT kid? Will I need a shoe horn and a valium? And who gets the valium if there is only one? 

Her kindy classroom moved location during the holidays (it was down the road from Tricky's school but will now be on campus), which meant that there was no orientation day. The poor suckers are being thrown in at the deep end!

In typical second child fashion, Bobbin already knows her way around the school, so I don't think the lack of orientation day will have much of an impact on her. More like the lack of mum being by her side.

The new location means the existing fences have to be heightened to comply with state regulations. When the principal mentioned it at a P&C meeting he said it was because the kindy kids can't climb over the higher fences, looked right at me and said "Don't think they'll stop Bobbin, though!". They already know her so well, ha! Perhaps they need a Bobbin readiness program?

To make it as painless as possible on her (and me) we've been doing lots of "big kindy girl" preparation like writing her name, choosing school shoes, selecting a gorgeous unicorn school bag, water bottle and lunch cooler from Crocodile Creek, putting on her uniform that almost reaches her ankles, and practising school lunch times! It is the cutest thing ever.

She adores unicorns and I'm happy that it's all BPA and phthalate free, the bottle is impact resistant (we have gone through so many of the cheapies grrr!), and the backpack has reinforced pockets and zips that are hard wearing. Plus it isn't a ridiculous size that will dwarf her (unlike her uniform).

She is as ready as she'll ever be, and I'm ready, too. 

I don't think there will be tears on my part as I don't usually cry at these times. I'll cry watching a movie, if I'm angry or if I burn dinner - you know, things that don't matter. But I rarely cry over milestones. Having said that, this is my last babe. The last "first day of school". Oh god, I'm crying already. Where's that valium?

No more knock, knock, who's there!

This is a S3 post: I received a complimentary Ring doorbell.

#C2 for full details please see my disclosure policy

It's no secret that I live in a bit of a dodgy area. It's more likely to be mentioned in the news for a stabbing than for the accomplishments of its schools. But as high as it is on the crime-o-meter (that's a thing, right?), I still love my lil house and this street. It just means we take a few extra security measures.

The latest we've adopted is the Ring video doorbell which I had been eyeing off in the catalogues for a while. I thought it would be pretty good, which is why I said yes to a review, but it has actually been even better than predicted, and in unexpected ways!

What does it do?

Well, it's a doorbell that has a camera and microphone inbuilt. When someone presses the button you get the usual ding-dong of a standard bell, but you also get an alert immediately via the app on your Android or Apple phone - open it and voila, you can see and hear who is at your door, and they can hear you, but can't see you (or your pyjamas).

You can also set it up to record whenever it senses movement so it becomes a security camera even when noone presses the bell. Super handy when you're going away and want to keep an eye on your property or, if you do happen to be broken in to, you might actually catch the bugger on video! Alternatively you might just get cool vision of a child patting a dog and go viral. Whatever works for you. It's quite sensitive so I'll reserve the motion sensor function for when we're on holidays.

A great bonus is that you can have it professionally wired to your house, but you don't have to., The internal battery lasts for months and the app actually lets you know how much battery life is left. If you have it turning on all the time with the security sensor, then you might want to think about putting it on the mains, but as a standard video door bell, it hasn't used much of the juice at all. Ours is still running on battery and won't need to be charged for another month or so yet.

So that's all great, and it does what it says it will do, using secure wifi. The kids think it is the bee's knees, I think it's fabulous, and the cop who came to my door the other day because my neighbour had a break in thought it was a great additional step to security, too. But it doesn't stop there...

Unexpected perks

1. Because you can see who it is before you press the answer button, you can choose to not answer. Pretend you're not home if it is someone trying to force their religion down your throat, sell you encyclopedias, or even a family member, up to you. You'll never have to close the door on Aunt Beryl again, because you never have to open it in the first place. Aunt Beryl aside, this is also fabulous for those of us with anxiety who are flooded with a sense of dread whenever the bell rings, not knowing who it is. When you see it's a friend with a box of chocolates, you know to let them in.

2. As the app works wherever you have coverage, I answered the door when I was in Kmart the other day and ACCEPTED A PARCEL! Oh lordy, is there anything worse than finding you've been carded two minutes before you got home? I was able to tell the delivery dude that I couldn't come to the door, but he could leave the parcel. I may have looked like a tool in Kmart, but that's OK, I'm used to that. I could have been on the other side of the door with an infectious illness for all he knew, but no, I was looking at storage solutions.

3, Again, because it is app based and you don't have to be on the other side of the door to use it, I was able to let a friend know I was only a few minutes away when she got to my house before me. I'd popped to the shops for milk thinking I could get back before our visitors arrived, but she was early. Rather than her standing around waiting and repeatedly knocking or having to phone me, straight away she knew I was five minutes away.

Only once did the video get a bit laggy, making the image pixelated (see above) and the audio was crackly, but on further investigation it appeared to be because we were maxing out the wifi with streaming and downloading at the same time. But even with it coming through at a lower quality, I could still see who it was and hear everything that was said.

However, there is one thing I'd like to change if I could. The time it takes for the app to load when the doorbell is pressed. It seems really slooooow. I feel some people might walk away before I've even had the chance to see who it is. The app is 'asleep' to save battery power, and if someone was in a hurry or a courier was ready to card, I reckon you'd end up seeing them getting back in to their van rather than waiting at your door by the time it was up and going.

Overall, I'm quite happy with the Ring. The camera gives a sharp picture, even at night with no external light source (see below), the audio is clear, and the app is very easy to navigate and control. You do have to purchase a subscription to view saved videos (including missed rings), but at $4 per month, that's less than a cup of English Breakfast at the local cafe, so that's OK by me.

The Ring video doorbell is available from stores such as Bunnings, Harvey Norman, and JB Hi-Fi.

I had IPL and found my glow

This is a C2 post: I received a complimentary treatment.

#C2 for full details please see my disclosure policy

When I started this blog seven and a half years ago (!) I asked the world/the two people reading: "Where's My Glow?". I was preggers with Tricky and the movies had promised an ethereal pregnancy glow, but all I got was a sheen of sweat and heartburn. This illusive glow was how I became known as Glowless, which in time got shortened to Glow. Because Straya. We shorten everything, even when doing so completely reverses the meaning.

But now, I've found my glow, and can well and truly be called Glow without any hint of irony. 

I was approached to have a consultation at Skin Resus, a premiere Perth cosmetic medicine clinic and review it if I liked the results. Which seemed like a pretty sweet offer to me! For half of last year self care wasn't even something that entered my mind let alone practised, so things like washing my face and even putting on sunscreen (that I am usually hyper vigilant about) didn't happen.

If you follow me on Instagram, you'll know I haven't stopped raving about it, so I figured I'd put it all here to make it easier to compare the videos.

Consult

I had a no-obligation, free consultation with Nurse Katie, at Skin Resus last month and at that appointment we discussed that I'm not a fan of the whole Freckles McGee thing going on.

"We can leave your beauty spots alone, too, if you like." 

"Oh bless! You called them beauty spots, I've always just said MOLES."

I was told my uneven pigmentation could be helped in a number of ways including peels and IPL, and I was told the processes, side effects, and costs for each.

I was hesitant to even ask about Botox/Dysport because my only experience of people using it, as far as I knew, was frozen faced actors. I didn't want that at all, I still wanted to look like me, and be able to silently tell off my kids with my eyes in public! Ha! But my grumpiness is etched on my face so I asked what could be done about my frown lines. Katie put my mind at ease, telling me exactly how it all worked and what I could expect - no new lines for the next few months, but it doesn't fill old lines that are there, and that I would not look plastic at all.

FYI Botox and Dysport are the same thing, Botulinum Toxin, but they are different brands. By Australian law, prescription medication cannot be named on a clinic's website as it would be considered advertising. I'm not advertising, I'm just telling you about my own experience, so I can legally name it, but I will use the generic term "wrinkle relaxer".

After I left with my recommendations and paperwork, I put out my feelers to ask if others would consider having wrinkle relaxers. There were a whole heap of answers and reasons, and I loved hearing all the different ways we approach this whole ageing thing. I even found out a few friends already use them and I had no idea!

I had to think long and hard about whether to get it done or not. I was all for the IPL, but I was conflicted about the wrinkle relaxer initially, so it took me a while to get back to them and let them know that yes, I was going to give it a go. Spoiler alert: very glad I did!

Treatment

On the day of the treatment I was both excited and nervous as I headed in to my consult with Dr Paula Barrie, as by Australian law, wrinkle relaxers do require an actual physician to prescribe it and a doctor or nurse to administer it (so be wary of beauty salons offering injectables!). She ran through all the information for me and made sure I understood exactly what I was getting done.

"You will look like you have sunburn for an hour or so." 

"That's OK, I don't have anywhere special to go... ever." 

After the formalities I was placed in the capable hands of Nurse Donna for the treatments. 

IPL

First up was IPL which stands for Intense Pulsed Light which targets pigmentation and redness, and stimulates collagen. Donna covered my face in goo not dissimilar to ultrasound goo, and placed shields over my eyes to protect them, then it was go time.

It feels like a teeny tiny hot rubber band slapping your skin, but it is so quick that the feeling is gone as soon as it registers. I wouldn't say it was painful, but it wasn't pleasant. It did sting a little bit around the more sensitive areas (under eyes/upper lip) and that did make my eyes water. But my eyes water when I get my eyebrows waxed!

They were right; it does feel like sunburn. My face felt hot and puffy, and a bit raw. Donna reassured me again that it would only stay like this for a little while, and most people are fine by the time they get home. I'll admit that in that moment, as I felt my pulse in my face, I didn't really believe her, but sure enough by the time I was half way home it had stopped stinging, and by the time I was in my own suburb, my face only slightly warm.

Wrinkle Relaxer

After the goo was wiped off it was time to get the wrinkle relaxer injected. As I made some frowny faces, Donna lifted the skin gently and injected straight in to the muscle... well I assume she did because I actually didn't feel it through the post IPL sunburn feel! Winning! Three little injections took about 15 seconds? Amazing. 

The results

Shall we let the videos speak for themselves?

40 minutes post treatment

A post shared by glow (@glowless) on May 12, 2017 at 11:25pm PDT

5 days post treatment:

A post shared by glow (@glowless) on May 17, 2017 at 1:27am PDT

My eyebrows evened up by themselves, which is why any free touch ups that I was talking about in the video are done after ten days. The stronger muscle side (a result of me raising one eyebrow 1000 times a day to say WTF?) took a day longer to fully immobilise which you can see in these later videos below.

10 days post treatment:

A post shared by glow (@glowless) on May 22, 2017 at 8:48pm PDT

A post shared by glow (@glowless) on May 23, 2017 at 9:15pm PDT

Where's my glow? RIGHT HERE, BABY! I look like I'm airbrushed! But that's ME! I suppose it's lucky that little zit popped up or I would be thinking there was some serious Instagram filters happening.

It feels sooooo soft and smooth. Whenever I put on moisturiser I must look a little strange because I end up stroking my own face. The IPL encourages collagen so it's all dewy, plump and delicious.

I am so blown away by the results of just one treatment. Seriously scroll up and look at the before video again and compare. There is still some pigment left, such as the spot under my right eye, but it has faded considerably. Generally, three treatments are recommended and I'm ready to sign up for the rest.

I'm also testing out some of the Dr Aspect skin care range available at Skin Resus, but I've only just started that so right now all I can say about it is that it goes on lovely and smells so good I want to eat it.

I'm so thankful to the team at Skin Resus for the opportunity to try this out. The whole experience has been wonderful not only because of the results, but because each staff member is extremely knowledgeable and genuinely kind, which made the experience relaxed and fun. Now excuse me while I go stroke my own face some more.

iFly Perth is here and it is even more awesome than it looks

This is a C2 post - gifted experience

For full details please see my disclosure policy

I got to head to the launch of indoor skydiving facility iFly Perth this month and I spent most of the evening with my jaw hanging wide open in disbelief. I am now in the background of hundreds of photos looking like I'm catching flies. Attractive!

I was so awed by the set up and the performances of the skydivers (and they really were performances!) that I squealed and clapped like a kid at her very first circus. I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing.

Amazingly choreographed routines. Guys zooming around. Spinning up, up, up almost 15 metres off the ground in a vertical wind tunnel. Check these guys out:


I was going to call it ballet in the air, but the speed these professionals were flying it looked more akin to those 'wheel of death' motorcycle cages sans the motorbikes. In. Sane.

I came away from the party feeling pumped, and wondered if just watching others do it was so good, how extreme would it feel after I had a go?


So yesterday MapGuy and I headed to the brand spankin' new iFly Perth to find out. I can tell you, our first taste of indoor skydiving did not disappoint!

We suited up (almost attractive as my slack jawed stare on opening night) and had our introductory lesson from our instructor Danny, a highly experienced skydiver with around 520 jumps to his name. We learned how to hold our bodies, the hand signals used (you can't hear anything in the tunnel), and all the safety details.

Then it was go time.

Do you think orange is my colour?

There were six of us in our group ranging in age from three to mid fifties. Yeah, that wasn't a typo. One of my fellow students was a toddler. Because the speed of the wind in the tunnel is controlled in real time by another skydiver, it doesn't matter how big or small you are. Plus the instructor in with you has a level of fitness up there with elite athletes so they can help everyone from littlies to big burly blokes, all while being blasted with air.

It was brilliant.

Wendy, I can fly!

The feeling was so completely foreign that I had to work hard to concentrate on following Danny's hand signals, and I had no idea if I was putting my legs in the right spot or not because I couldn't really feel where they were, but his thumbs up said I was doing OK.

We each got two flights, the second of which was better because that unknown element was gone and I felt I could follow instructions better.

I can see my house from up here!

The wind blasting up my nostrils was a bloody weird sensation. They could legitimately add "complimentary sinus clean" to the list of services they offer.

There really was no down side to the experience. It's short, and there are options to go for longer, but the general time is the same as what you'd get with a freefall from 14,000 feet. Then you just pop out, let someone else have a turn and you're up again. No flight, no ear pressure worries, no parachute worries!

MapGuy was a natural

It's so controlled and it on top of actually being very safe, it felt safe - I wasn't scared at all, and at no time did I feel like I was about to drop out of the sky.

I don't know yet if it has made me want to jump out of a real plane, but I definitely want to go back and have another go. Even Tricky says he wants to have a go, so I've promised he can go for his birthday next year.

This is iFLY High and is $10 extra 

If you're stuck for a present, a voucher for experiences is always great, but indoor skydiving is just next level awesome.

iFly has locations in Sydney, the Gold Coast and Perth, and prices start at a very reasonable $89.

I'm not hipster enough for the Fringe World Festival

I was super lucky to swing some free tickets to opening night of Best of the Edinburgh Fest at the Fringe World Festival last night. Map Guy and I left the kiddies with baby sitter extraordinaire, Aunty Penny, on a school night and headed in to Northbridge to check it out.

It was a beautiful but muggy night and it gave us a chance for quality, one on one time without the constant interruption of kids. So we used the time wisely and argued about where to park and which direction to take. We arrived a few minutes (fashionably) late to the Tent of the Unpronounceable Name, trod on some toes to get to our seats and settled in for the show.

First up was Chris Martin. No, not of Coldplay fame, a comedian - though, naming your kid Apple is pretty funny. Do you know how hard it is to sulk at a comedy show? It's almost impossible. I was trying to be all cranky pants but Chris made me belly laugh in a matter of minutes. 

Up next was the very shouty Canadian, John Hastings. He was my fave. My face was hurting from laughing so much as he seamlessly covered everything from thongs to religion to asshole French waiters. His banter and dark sense of humour won me over. 

Closing the show was Carl Donnelly. He didn't really do it for me. He told one really long story in which he kept swapping between whether it was his story or his mate's, and had no punchline at the end. The lack of punchline was the punchline and I'm all "No. That ain't no punchline, dude, bring back the Canadian guy".

It was a great show, for a good two thirds of it at least (others were laughing at the third guy, so must have just been my sense of humour?) and I'd easily recommend it to people who like observational humour but don't want to pay a fortune. Tickets on sale here for around $25 if you're interested.

Afterwards, we cruised The Pleasure Garden (aka Russell Square in drag), drank Mojitos, took pictures of fantastically quirky things like the outdoor library and came to the realization that we are not hipster enough for Fringe. 

Even MG's impressive beard and thick glasses couldn't stand up to the flannel clad, spacer-eared, skinny jeaned, tattooed folk with no concept of bed time. 

Walking back to the car at a 8:45pm because it was almost bed time, a gorgeous young woman handed us a brochure for more shows:

"I'd absolutely recommend the show starting at 10pm and the one at 11pm is..."

"OH, sweetheart! I'll be asleep by then!" I blurted out. 

She looked confused at my interruption. Was it because I called her sweetheart? I don't think I've ever called someone I didn't know sweetheart before. Or maybe I had been giving off the aura of Hipster? Perhaps the pink hair threw her? 

"Maybe if we can get a babysitter another night" MG chimed in.

She understood. She gave us the sweet, pitying look that youngens give to the older folk. I know it because I've given that same look before. The look that said "ugh children, whyyyyyyy?". 

So I might not be hipster enough for Fringe World, but I've got pink hair and my kids think I'm fucking awesome. That'll do me just fine. 

Are you a Fringe fan?