I'm not hipster enough for the Fringe World Festival

I was super lucky to swing some free tickets to opening night of Best of the Edinburgh Fest at the Fringe World Festival last night. Map Guy and I left the kiddies with baby sitter extraordinaire, Aunty Penny, on a school night and headed in to Northbridge to check it out.

It was a beautiful but muggy night and it gave us a chance for quality, one on one time without the constant interruption of kids. So we used the time wisely and argued about where to park and which direction to take. We arrived a few minutes (fashionably) late to the Tent of the Unpronounceable Name, trod on some toes to get to our seats and settled in for the show.

First up was Chris Martin. No, not of Coldplay fame, a comedian - though, naming your kid Apple is pretty funny. Do you know how hard it is to sulk at a comedy show? It's almost impossible. I was trying to be all cranky pants but Chris made me belly laugh in a matter of minutes. 

Up next was the very shouty Canadian, John Hastings. He was my fave. My face was hurting from laughing so much as he seamlessly covered everything from thongs to religion to asshole French waiters. His banter and dark sense of humour won me over. 

Closing the show was Carl Donnelly. He didn't really do it for me. He told one really long story in which he kept swapping between whether it was his story or his mate's, and had no punchline at the end. The lack of punchline was the punchline and I'm all "No. That ain't no punchline, dude, bring back the Canadian guy".

It was a great show, for a good two thirds of it at least (others were laughing at the third guy, so must have just been my sense of humour?) and I'd easily recommend it to people who like observational humour but don't want to pay a fortune. Tickets on sale here for around $25 if you're interested.

Afterwards, we cruised The Pleasure Garden (aka Russell Square in drag), drank Mojitos, took pictures of fantastically quirky things like the outdoor library and came to the realization that we are not hipster enough for Fringe. 

Even MG's impressive beard and thick glasses couldn't stand up to the flannel clad, spacer-eared, skinny jeaned, tattooed folk with no concept of bed time. 

Walking back to the car at a 8:45pm because it was almost bed time, a gorgeous young woman handed us a brochure for more shows:

"I'd absolutely recommend the show starting at 10pm and the one at 11pm is..."

"OH, sweetheart! I'll be asleep by then!" I blurted out. 

She looked confused at my interruption. Was it because I called her sweetheart? I don't think I've ever called someone I didn't know sweetheart before. Or maybe I had been giving off the aura of Hipster? Perhaps the pink hair threw her? 

"Maybe if we can get a babysitter another night" MG chimed in.

She understood. She gave us the sweet, pitying look that youngens give to the older folk. I know it because I've given that same look before. The look that said "ugh children, whyyyyyyy?". 

So I might not be hipster enough for Fringe World, but I've got pink hair and my kids think I'm fucking awesome. That'll do me just fine. 

Are you a Fringe fan?

Someone from the INTERNET came to PERTH!

If you've got friends that live far away, you'll know that it is a big deal when you get to see each other face to face. Thing is, pretty much no one comes to Perth because PERTH. I actually like this little city and think it has a lot to offer. Yes, even stuff that outweighs the exorbitantly high property prices and abundance of high vis gear.

When any of my east coast friends come to Perth it is a HUGE DEAL. There are confetti cannons, official welcomes and flocks of black swans flying in formation, spelling out your name. Or, more likely, me waiting at the airport to pick you up, with a packet of Cheezels in my hand.

Kim Foale - "professional mud hardener" and she of Frog Ponds Rock and Kim Foale Ceramics fame - headed west to the Sunset State to attend an Arty Farty conference in Kalgoorlie. I've been to Kalgoorlie and it doesn't scream conference to me, but hey, what would I know?

She got up in the morning in Tassie and had to use water to get the frost off her car windscreen, then got all the way over to Perth where we were experiencing a very comfortable 25C. Comfortable is, however, a relative term. It was just a nice way to help transition her to the week of 35C+ in Kal, though. You're welcome, Kim.

Pink hair meets Purple hair

We only had a few hours together, so a quick trip to King's Park to see the Boab Tree, have some lunch and then a detour to Freo for some hipsterwank non-alcoholic drinks at hipsterwank prices and it was time to head back to the airport. But what we did actually didn't matter. Just seeing her with my own eyes. Hearing her voice. Feeling her hugs. It was awesome. I kept thinking I was in one of those super realistic dreams. How are you here, in my car? You're meant to be on the other side of the country.

We chatted about blogs, kids, arty farty stuff (I didn't keep up very well), and the knack I have of driving terribly and becoming lost whenever I have a passenger over seven years old in my car. She let Bobbin, who she'd never met before ("you've grown a whole human since we last saw each other"), delve in to her salad at lunch. There were salad leaves and grainy things (quinoa?) all over the table and it didn't matter. Bobbin thought it was the best fun ever.

Bobbin developed a greater appreciation of quinoa at lunch

I expected to leave with some awesome memories and a cuddle, but I also left with gifts, which is great because PRESENTS! Kim had made me a beautiful glossy, swirly thing (it probably has a name but I don't know it), a pendant, and best of all, some amazing fairy houses for the kids. Tricky saw them when he got home and flipped. Real fairy houses!

Fairy houses, LEGO dude, cars, dinosaurs and a half eaten cracker. Bliss.

The best thing about this blogging caper, by far, is the people I've met. Most of those I have only "met" a handful of times, and some I haven't even "met" yet. All of a sudden, I feel like singing a Michael Buble song.

Do you have "online" friends?

Calling all Bright Young Things!

This is a C1 post

For full details please see my disclosure policy

Every so often in the Blogosphere, you get approached to do something and before you've finished reading the pitch you are jumping up and down, going all jazz hands all over the shop. This is one of those times!

Tricky, has been asked by 720 ABC to review the 2014 Awesome International Arts Festival for Bright Young Things! But it gets better, because I have this extra ticket here for YOUR kid to be a Bright Young Reviewer live on air on Afternoon with Gillian O'Shaunessy, too! Kids and live radio? Yeah, we're totally gonna go there and just cross our fingers (arms, legs, eyes, whatever else is available) that none of them decide to swear. The Trickster is totally excited and his first question was "Do you think I'll get to hold the microphone?".

The Festival:
The Awesome Festival has been running since 2007 and, as the name suggests, is pretty damn awesome. It delivers a showcase of amazing and exciting contemporary art from around the world with both free and ticketed theatre, dance, music, sculpture, installation and new media.

This year's line up is brilliant and some of the events I'm really looking forward to are the Silent Disco Walking Tour (headphones, disco hits that no one else can hear and dancing - YES PLEASE!), the Imagination Playground (for ages 0-5 where they can build with massive blocks), heaps of different Robot activities and the Nursery so Bobbin can get in on the art fun, too.

Awesome aims to be super inclusive, so on top of specific programs for children with disabilities or disadvantages and their siblings, one of the things that is new this year is a navigational tool for parents with children who have Autism Spectrum Disorder. It will assist parents to make positive decisions for their child by outlining the themes in the shows, access to venues, potential triggers and such.

WIN:
Do you have a Bright Young Thing aged 4-12? Think they'd like a sneak peek at the Awesome Festival and the opportunity to review it on 720 ABC?

We'll be reviewing Story Book (adventure art!!!), Galloping Tales (art using X-Box Kinect), Sticks, Stones, Broken Bones (shadow theatre) and Laser Beak Man (by internationally renowned artist Tim Sharp who has ASD and whose mother was told he'd never talk, go to school or be capable of love and should just be put in an institution and forgotten about!).

L-R: Sticks, Stones, Broken Bones; Story Book; Beak Man

All they need to do is review something to show me they have what it takes! They could review their dinner, a toy, a movie, a trip to the zoo, whatever they feel like and they can submit it as a drawing, painting, collage etc with a sentence or two (scribed by you if they're little) or even a short video via Instagram (FYI: I'm partial to interpretive dance). They can enter as many times as you like.

You can submit their entry before Wednesday, 24th September by:

• Posting a picture of it on the Where's My Glow Facebook page
• Emailing it to me glowless @ wheresmyglow.com subject: AWESOME ENTRY
• Posting it to Instagram and tagging me @glowless (for videos too!)

I would love it so much if you would share this competition around because I truly believe it is a awesome opportunity for your Bright Young Thing.

By entering, you agree to the terms and conditions. You and your Bright Young Reviewer must be available on Saturday, 4th October between 9.45am and 2.00pm at the Perth Cultural Centre and Tuesday, 7th October for the 720 ABC live broadcast from the Perth Cultural Centre between 1pm and 3pm. This is a game of skill, winner will be chosen on merit. Winner must be between 4-12 years old and be accompanied by a parent, no correspondence will be entered in to. Entries may be reposted on Facebook or the blog. Prize is not transferable without prior written consent and cannot be taken as cash.

First Aid Saves Lives

This is a C2 post

For full details please see my disclosure policy

What would you do if you found your child unconscious? If they tipped boiling water over themselves? If they started choking on a grape? If they had a severe allergic reaction and their throat started to close and they couldn’t breathe? If you found them floating in the pool?

Would you panic or go in to lioness mode?

Well I’m going to tell you, Lioness mode means squat if you don’t actually know basic first aid.

About a year ago, Tricky choked on some food. I don’t even remember what it was now, but we were all sitting having dinner and he went quiet, and we all know quiet and toddlers don’t mix. It usually means they’re up to something, but in this case it meant his windpipe was blocked.

I looked over and he was trying to heave up what was in his throat but he couldn’t. His eyes were wide in panic and there was saliva dribbling out his silent mouth. I grabbed him up to flip him over and smack him on the back and whatever it was, thankfully, popped out straight away. He coughed his little lungs up and cried buckets (whether from the shock or from having his mother yank his arm and thump his back, I’m not sure). In that moment, just like the first cry of a new born babe, it was the most brilliant sound I’d ever heard. The whole thing, from start to finish, would have been 5 seconds at the most.

My mind raced with quite a few expletives and what ifs but mostly it sung a happy tune of thanks for doing a first aid course. Then I berated myself because I still hadn't done the refresher I swore I'd do when Tricky was born.

I was lucky enough to be invited to a child resuscitation course at St John Ambulance the other day and finally got my refresher, albeit four years after I started thinking about doing it. Turning up to find out that my classmates were actual celebrities, Amy Zempilas, Jessica Bratitch and Elissa Griesser, meant I almost needed CPR myself. But I had thankfully taken along the buffer. And by buffer I mean Bobbin.

Not content to just be the cutest baby in the room (erm, she was the only baby in the room) Bobbin decided to really make a name for herself and proceeded to do a poo explosion all over my leg when we were only a few minutes in to the course. Oh did I mention that we were BEING FILMED FOR TELEVISION?! I excused myself and tried to clean us both up as much as I could and seriously considered just legging it and not going back because, well, poo stains don’t look good on camera. And as much as they say “breastfed babies don’t smell”, IT’S A LIE!

But I continued on with my poopants and the others should be applauded for being gracious, helpful and above all, not gagging. When it is your own kid it is tolerable, but someone else’s? Kudos, ladies, kudos.

I’m glad I did stay because the long awaited refresher was awesome. Our instructor, Brooke, was amazing and so passionate about teaching people these basic, life saving skills. It was great to learn that the number of compressions to breaths is now easier to remember, that you can’t hurt someone with the defibrillators available at shopping centres and that a shocked person doesn’t jump a metre off the bed like they do in the movies.

Here we are practicing compressions on child mannequins. For the record, we didn't purposely dress all matchy matchy.

L - R: Amy Zempilas, Jessica Bratitch, poopypants and Elissa Griesser

You can check out the segment below. Let's all be thankful it is not smellovision.


I also learned:

• The likelihood of a person making a full recovery improves if they receive first aid in the initial moments after the accident
• The average time it takes to get an ambulance to the scene is 10 minutes
• Irreversible brain damage can occur if the person goes more than 4 minutes without oxygen
• St John Ambulance have been running first aid courses in WA since 1892!

Brooke demonstrating how to use a defibrillator on a baby

We go to so much effort to keep our kids safe; vaccinations, power point guards, securing furniture to the walls, locking away poisons, having pool gates and teaching them how to cross the road safely. But accidents do happen and you can’t control how other people set up their houses. It makes sense that you’d learn the skills to act if something horrible should occur.

It was quite confronting to practice CPR on the child mannequins and even more so on the baby mannequin. Resusibaby and Bobbin were exactly the same size and doing the compressions and puffing air in to it's little lungs actually made me quite emotional. But now I know exactly how much air fills a babies lungs, not because I've read it, or heard it, but because I've practiced it.

Behind the scenes

St John Ambulance know that you don’t have a lot of time to spare so they have the Child Resuscitation Awareness course which is only 2 hours long and costs $49 per person. As the name suggests, it focuses on babies and children and covers things like choking, drowning, asthma and anaphylaxis.

Certificates for everyone

As it happens, I’ve got a $50 voucher to give away which you can use towards any course or even a first aid kit if you wish. You just have to tell me one reason you should become a Super Mum and learn (or have a refresher) for first aid.

You've been Perthed

Forget six degrees of separation (and the truly shit house movie of the same name), and disregard Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. In Perth, you can connect yourself to most people by three degrees. Which of course is a fact that I just made up but might as well be true.

Around here, it's called being Perthed.

It extends also to bumping in to people you know wherever you go and is the sole reason that I put on makeup when I leave the house and avoid certain shopping centres. I'm pretty much guaranteed to see someone I know and the likelihood of me seeing them is based on a sliding scale:

In my three shifts at my new job I've seen seven people I know, which by my own scale must mean I look like a bit of a dog when I'm there.

On top of those seven people (not literally, we're not playing Twister), I had the honour of introducing the 'Perthed' concept to a reader of this here ol' blog, who is in town visiting from Brisbane and happened to be at my work:

"You're 'Where's My Glow? aren't you?"

*shifty eyes* "Um. Yes?" *mild panic*

Amy, who was an invaluable help to me when Tricky first had issues with anaphylaxis and asthma, recognized my media-whore face and said hello meaning I was simultaneously having a nice little OMG-I-was-recognized ego boost and an OMG-I-was-recognized freak out.

Being recognized by a reader has to be the strangest thing ever to come from Blogging. It has happened a few times now and is testament again to just how small Perth is (one time it happened at teeny tiny Kalgoorlie airport which was a complete spin out), and each time I think a) How is it possible for anyone to recognize me without an Instagram filter and b) Being a celebrity and having this every minute of every day would be fucking weird!!

Do you only see people you know when you look like shit?

Don't forget you can win $100 this week

click the moolah to enter