Monday, March 11, 2013

So it turns out even a second pregnancy freaks me out

I may attempt to come across as all earth-mothery what with the hippy lah lah bullshit I spout from time to time, but I am anything but a serene and sacred vessel.

In short, I think pregnancy is the absolute weirdest thing ever. Some cells come together and then GROW A HUMAN? What the actual fuck?! No way?! It's insides somehow know to end up where they belong? Get outta town!

You would think that having done it before I'd be quite used to it, but no. When I was pregnant with Tricks I felt this way too. I feel it whenever I see a growing baby bump... after thinking "hehe someone got lucky" and waggling my eyebrows because on the inside I'm actually a 13 year old boy. Related: this is why I always feel weird telling someone I'm pregnant, it feels like I'm saying "heyyyy, guess who had sex?".

Over the past few weeks I've been able to feel this tiny human move and it is both exciting and disconcerting at the same time. There is a reason I refer to pregnancy as being in the John Hurt Way after all.

I barely felt Tricky move because I had an anterior placenta but I have felt this as yet still blog-nameless baby doing a highland jig on my bladder since around 14 weeks. This is only adding to my complete surety it is going burst out of my stomach at any moment and crawl along the bench to attack Sigourney Weaver or anyone else who happens to be near by.

Don't get me started on how bizarre the birth process is. I'm a full believer that our bodies know what to do and I'm planning on trusting those instincts again since it served me quite well last time around. It's a bit of a marvel and blah blah blah... but I can't help but think IT COMES OUT WHERE?! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!?!?! And it's quite obvious that Tricky feels the same:


Does anyone else get the same mental image as a snake dislocating it's jaw to eat a wallaby? No? Just me? Right. As you were.

18 comments:

  1. I did it 3 times and each time thinking about it too much freaked me out - a conveinient door or something would be handy don't you think? Maybe a glass inner door so you can check on progress from time to time too ... see, I told you, thinking too much and I'm not even pregnant!

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  2. Oh, poor Tricky! My 3 came out the sunroof, which is even more horrifying, when you think about it. You will be fine!

    xx

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  3. A door would be fabulous! With a well-oiled hinge!!!!

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  4. I completely agree, Lisa, the sunroof freaks me out even more! :) x

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  5. What our bodies go through during pregnant and labour still blows my mind. I push that outta there? Its kinda weird thinking about it. All I can say is thank fuck the view of my vagina was from the top and not from what hubby had to endure, poor bastid!.

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  6. Miss 7 who has been accessing graphic midwifery text books from the bottom bookshelf since she was one, is a bit concerned about having babies. She wants a guarantee that they will come out her vagina, and not have to be cut out otherwise she's not having any! A true midwives child :)

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  7. I'll leave that to you *shudders*

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  8. My brother's gf is pregnant with their first baby and is due mid september. It hasnt hit her yet how big she is going to get and HOW its going to come out. I've been giving her little tidbits of advice here and there and been answering any questions she has, but because I'm done having kids, I can sit back and have that cheeky "I know what you're in for" grin but can also sympathize with her. Like yesterday, she got food poisoning.

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  9. I liked it better when I thought a baby really was delivered by a stork or found in the cabbage patch!

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  10. I feel the same way about it all. I hate pregnancy. I prefer labour to pregnancy. I know. WTF? It's just all a little too weird and draining on me, so I spent my pregnancies pretending I wasn't pregnant. You know, without endangering those cells in my uterus too much.

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  11. I can finally comment on this post, I hadn't announced my pregnancy when you posted it!! OH MY GOODNESS, pregnancy FREAKS ME OUT. The ultrasound, and seeing it wiggling about! SO WEIRD. And yes, how does it get out of that little hole, HOW?? Do I want to know? Maybe not just yet.

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  12. Congratulations, Zoe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO NOT THINK ABOUT IT!!!!!!! Just glow and be a serene and sacred vessel :D

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  13. I keep forgetting I'm pregnant. No more constant vomiting and no big bump yet to make it obvious.

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  14. Food poisoning while up the duff? Not fun!

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  15. I'll take one for the team.

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  16. LOL I would also like that guarantee - if only! x

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  17. I think my words, on being offered a mirror to watch, were "ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?!"

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