Wednesday, March 27, 2013

I'm a rageaholic. I'm addicted to rageahol.

I have become The Incredible Glow-Hulk. Or Glulk, if you will. I know, it sounds pretty shit, but Ima run with it. Run with it as far as a crappy photoshop job complete with sea-sick green wash and popping veins will take me.

Last pregnancy I was earth mother. Well, as earth mother as I can get. I'd never felt calmer or more secure in myself. I even managed to come completely off medications that had gotten me through what I like to deem the "straight jacket years". It was all rose coloured glasses& chirping birds on window sills, not unlike a scene from a Disney movie.

This pregnancy could not be further from that. Earth mother? Hell no. Rage mother is more like it. My default emotion right now is anger. Pure, bubbling, oh-the-injustice, how-dare-you anger!

Everything, EVERYTHING, is making me angry.

Take for example the age old phenomenon of males leaving the toilet seat up. This has never annoyed me before - I'm of the opinion that if we both use the facilities why must it be left how I like it? What makes me so special that I can't put it down? But a few nights ago, when I unceremoniously fell in to the toilet in the middle of the night, I was ready to declare war and the words I muttered under my breath to describe MG's actions were, well, colorful to say the least.

It doesn't matter how tiny the issue is, I'll be cranky.

Shops due to open at 9am and according to my no doubt fast watch they didn't open til 9:01.... UNACCEPTABLE! RAGE!!! WHERE IS THE COMPLAINT FORM?!

Leftovers eaten by someone else even though I hadn't declared I wanted them? OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!! THAT WAS MY FUCKING PIZZA!!

Stub my toe on a shoe that I have left in the way? THE WORLD IS AT FAULT! ALL SHOES IN THE BIN!!

The rose coloured glasses have been smashed under foot for their mocking rosiness. The birds on the windowsill, clever little bastards that they are, are long gone, no doubt fearful I would fashion a ging out of some bobby pins and hair elastics MacGyver style, and take them out one by one.

As much as I can see it happening and am trying my hardest to control it (by swearing on the inside and developing facial tics), Poor MapGuy is suffering. From his proximity, he is the one who has witnessed this more than anyone. And by witness I obviously mean felt the brunt of. 

It truly is one of the most unattractive of things to see your preggo wife stroke her swelling bump then look up, shoot daggers and say "stop doing that or I will cut you".

At times like this I find it helpful to remember the positives... that I am not an elephant and this state will not last for two years, merely another four and a half months.

Were you a rageaholic when up the duff? How did you stop from killing people?


  1. Umm I'm too scared not to leave a comment but too scared to so as well. So I'll just say you're pretty & tip toe quietly away

  2. Bahaha! Green suits you, Glowy!

    I found out I was pregnant at 6.5 weeks. I loved my (future) husband that night after we found out. The next morning I was ready to bite his head off. How DARE he get me pregnant 6 months before our wedding??! I was absolutely livid! I swear, I don't know how he stuck around. Oh, and Michael Jackson had died that day too. Man, I was pissed at the world.

  3. I'll send this to my partner so he knows what to expect! I haven't been feeling much different so far, but when I slipped on some paper SOMEONE left ON THE FLOOR, I did feel a sliiiight amount of RAGE... I hope you can find some inner-earth mother soon, but if not, just enjoy having the excuse to rage on people!

  4. I couldn't control my bladder whilst pregnant. I dont know what's worse.

  5. Oh, some things really got my goat - for instance, the smell of my husband. Isn't that just charming. Yes, it was the second pregnancy when that little gem appeared. The power of smell was pretty rage inducing on occasion. Thankfully it settled down after the first half of my pregnancy.

  6. Oh hellz no. Touch the leftover pizza and die!! Seriously!

  7. I am a rageaholic most of the time. I wish I could blame pregnancy hormones, or even PMS. Sadly I'm just a bitch.

  8. Ha. That's me almost everyday! I am not pregnant I just need to chill out. I am sure your rage will calm down soon. If not pass on my best wishes to your OH ;)

  9. Ha. That's me almost everyday. I am not pregnant just highly strung and I definitely need to learn to chill out. You however have the perfect reason to rage away as much as you see necessary. I am sure it will calm down soon. If not I wish your OH well ;)

  10. ahhh there there *pats Glow on head, gives her chocolate and then slinks away...*

  11. Funny, I was the same. I think it's cos you're tired looking after a toddler when you're pregnant with the second (or subsequent) one. I've been getting angry at everything. Mostly the poor plot lines in episodes of Neighbours!


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