Thursday, December 13, 2012

5 Reasons Twitter is like that shitty show Passions

Do you remember Passions? It was on Australian TV in the late 90s and the first half of the naughties when I was in late high school. I know, I didn't realize it had run for that long either.

With people having Princess Diana as a guardian angel, a bizarre never-fucking-ending love triangle, amnesia, witches, a weird doll that came alive, the live-in nurse that was an orangutan (WTF?! BamBam, who played 'Precious' was even nominated for an Emmy), some rich folk who meddled in other people's lives and numerous doubtful paternaties. And sometimes all of that in just one episode.

I watched about a dozen episodes. At one point in school it became cool to watch it just so you could take the piss out of it the next day. It was verging on being so bad it was good but didn't quite make it, landing squarely in the poke-eyes-out-rather-that-watch-this-shit basket. 

In my current I-don't-like-Twitter-anymore phase (which sure as shit will be over the next time I'm on a train and need rescuing from my boredom and hate for being alone), I've decided that Twitter and Passions have a bit in common:

5 Reasons Twitter is like Passions

1. You can go away for a month, come back and still see the same arguments being rehashed. FFS! How many times does that whiney little bitch have to go on about the boy not liking her, even after she is the one who cheated on him... right now I could be talking about EITHER. Substitute the topic for monetization or ethics in blogging (or being tired of Twitter) and lather, rinse, repeat.

2. There are lots of fucking weirdos. Twitter is full of them, hence why I am there. Harmony, the thankfully fictional town in Passions was also full of them. Don't just go straight to Tabitha the witch, the whole fucking town was loopy, there are too many to even mention. 

3. There are heaps of whiney bitches. That chick Theresa? OMG I wanted to slap her upside the head every time she spoke or did that lip quivery thing. Same goes with people who continuously whinge on Twitter like me. No, it's true, one of the things I hate most about Twitter is my own tweets - shut up already, woman!

4. There are a couple of hot and awesome people who don't know you even exist. Like that one hot awesome guy who never got cast again because OMG YOU'RE THE GUY FROM PASSIONS. I don't know what his name was, but his career has not gone from strength to strength. Twitter is the same - a few hot people that are getting their 15 minutes of fame who don't even know you exist. It's fucking depressing, why am I even there?

5. It sucks you in, even when it's shit. Like that one week I watched Passions to find out if Whiney McWhinerson would marry the hot brooding guy. It was a train wreck, I couldn't look away. A whole week I watched only to find out that a viewing week was a Passions minute and shit just draaaaags. That's a week I'll never get back. Twitter drags you in too - especially the shit fights and hilarious hashtags. One minutes it's all "I'll just have a quick look" and the next it's "I forgot to feed the dog and it's 1am".

For a serious "ummm WTF?" moment, check out this clip. Now I'm all for not being politically correct all the time but everyone in a psychiatric hospital playing with dolls? Yeah, nice.

Do you have a love/hate relationship with Twitter? Did you watch Passions?


  1. Oh my, to think I'd forgotten all about Passions! I used to watch it at my sister's when my eldest nephew was a baby!! As for twitter, I've never been able to get my head around it. Oh lord, that clip was hysterical!!

  2. OMG Passions! Seems like a lifetime's like a freaking's so bad but you just keep on watching! Ok, back to the discussion about twitter. It's a love hate relationship for me really. Love because I get to escape MY reality & chat to people even if it's at random (remember it's full of weirdos..yeah I'm one of them) then, hate because's as if you're talking to the in my real life at home, when I'm talking to the kids or hubs. The wall. No response, or even when you try to chat with that person and tweet response. WTH? But Passions...I keep going back!

  3. That clip is the only Passions I've ever watched. TFFT. That Tabitha doll stuff was freaky. Also, why was Antonio not at home? What caused him to leave, and why can he never go back? Wait! I don't want to know.

    I have a love/hate thing going on with Twitter. I keep meaning to make lists so I can just bother with the people who actually do talk to me. Because there's so much noise, it doesn't suck me in for as long as it used to. #1 is what kills it for me - the tiresome repetition of topics - blog monetising, Mamamia upset someone, whiney 'certain bloggers are so cliquey' crap. Same old same old.

  4. Oh God, I fucking hated Passion with a, you guessed it, passion! My sister used to watch it and it drove me bonkers! I change my mind on twitter as often as I change my underwear. One day I love it, the next day I hate it, so on and so forth. I think that's the nature of the beast. The snoop in me does like watching the twitter fights though, some people be crazy!

  5. I LOVED PASSIONS!!!! I use to watch it when I was nannying and the kids were napping.. it was fabby!!Although watching it now... remember how young and innocent I was back then... bwahahha.. no way I could stand it now.. they are definitely bold and the beautiful weird incessant crazy nutters :)

    thats for the lil walk down Passions lane :)

  6. Bahahaha, I remember that show and am pretty sure I only watched it a few times - I just started a twitter account yesterday. Aaarrgghh - maybe I did the wrong thing. Am not hooked just yet because I don't even know how to use it yet - I'm sure I'll be hooked soon enough though.

  7. Ha! I actually used to race home from school to watch Passions. Awkward much?
    I have been feeling the same about twitter, that I hate going there only to whinge and it seems that I am only tweeting when I need to vent and so I hate myself and then when I go to say something happy it seems so corny and lame and like I'm trying to overcompensate.
    I miss twitter, but yeah, I don't want on the whiney bus.

  8. Meagan @ cider in the sunDecember 14, 2012 at 4:20 AM

    Oh my lordy!!! hahaha I can relate to the, watching it only to discuss how absolutely ridiculous it is the next day at school!!!! What a blast from the past... I became a horrible addiction that was unstoppable! Twitter is starting to give me the irrits too... hopefully its just a phase .. there so many clickity clicks too and sometimes you just sit there feeling like an outsider and its the first day of school all over again! eeeeek!

  9. Oh mah gah. I forgot about that show!! It could have been my brain, blocking it out, because it was BAD, but I watched it periodically anyway. You are so right.
    Twitter is exactly like this. EXACTLY! Bizzare-oh.

  10. Ahh, memories! I remember watching this, it was god awful, but I was just so sucked into the strange badness of it all. After a while I think I only watched it for the Timmy doll guy then when the actor died I just sort of stopped. I don't even know if it's still on or not, but I don't think I'd be lost if I decided to watch it again.


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