Friday, August 17, 2012

Hack Job

There is no doubt that Tricky is a shaggy headed boy.

When I visited my grandmother recently the first words out of her mouth were "He needs a haircut". Closely followed by "What's his name again?" She certainly has her priorities.

But she was right. As much a fan as I am of the shag, he was in need of a trim having slipped from shaggy to scruffy in recent weeks.

Shaggy-headed, sushi-eating Tricky, 5 minutes before his hair cut

As usual, the kid sat there unmoving, shooting daggers at her through the mirror and pouting. Most hairdressers say he's well behaved and I tend to just let them think that rather than point out if looks could kill they'd be long gone by now.

Just a trim, so it's out of his eyes, I said.

She started to cut.

She noticed his scars and I said that they were one reason I liked it long. The shaggy look covers a lot of the lumps and bumps caused by his surgeries. She started chatting about the resilience of kids and all the while her scissor-happy hands flew around his poor head.

On leaving the hairdresser I couldn't see how bad it was because it was still wet. All I could tell was it that was much shorter than I'd asked... then it dried. And I cried.


Turns out, when she said "I'll put in a few layers" she meant "I'll wildly hack at your kid's head and make him look stupid".

A few people suggested that it looked like he'd got the scissors out himself. Or that I'd been embracing my frugal side and giving home haircuts. 

After I'd finished crying about it I started crying over the fact that I'd been crying over hair. Hair that grows back. Hair that doesn't matter in the big picture.

Then I looked at him, he gave me the biggest, cheesiest smile, and that gorgeous face juxtaposed with that horrid hair meant I cried some more. He didn't give a shit what his hair looked like, all he cared about was if I was going to play cars with him or not. So I played cars and tried not to cry. I'm extremely hormonal right now, can you tell? GIVE ME SOME CHOCOLATE AND I WILL STOP CRYING.

I did complain to the manager and she attempted to fix it despite me almost having convulsions when she came at his head with scissors, so it's even shorter now and a little bowl-esque. But it will grow.

And all of a sudden I have a boy and not a baby.


Have you/your kid had a bad haircut? Did you cry/complain/eat copious amounts of chocolate?

35 comments:

  1. Children of The Corn....

    I'm kidding. He's such a freaking cute kid, that he can pull off any haircut. Seriously, those cheeks, those eyes - nobody else is looking at his hair. And you know I've got clippers if you want to "start over", heh.

    Now I feel that you need macaron's too. I should just learn how to make them myself. Or...you know...find a friend who does...ahem...

    I once took Neala to a back-lane Bali hairdresser (possibly after a few Illusions....meaning I was slightly disillusioned....or illusion-prone), I asked for a trim of her normal but long fringe. They cut extra into it, back HALF WAY towards the back of her head, and made the front literally 2cm long. Not even kidding. I demanded the seamstress tape measure from the shop next door and I measured that sucker. TWO CENTIMETRE FRINGE THAT COVERED HALF OF THE TOP OF HER HEAD. OMG, every time I looked at her I had "Achy Breaky Heart" playing in my head. She was all kinds of Billy Ray Cyrus mullet-head. Probably where her own obsession with crafting covert side-mullet's started...

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  2. I agree with Parental Parody. His such a cute kid he could pull off any hair cut. His hair looks better now then it did before after she cut it. Was she like training or something? trying something new. I'm always scared to take my girls to the hair dressers. I haven't taken them in a year now and their hair is so long. They have been asking to get their hair cut. But I told them to wait till after their uncles wedding in October then they can get it done.

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  3. Michelle @ Raising WillAugust 17, 2012 at 9:14 AM

    We went to Just Cuts with Mr 1 3/4 for a 'trim'... Needless to say it looked like his hair literally shrunk in the wash. His gorgeous, long blonde locks that I used to brush to the side, out of his eyes.... GONE!


    I was a little shocked at first, but it wasn't until I saw a photo of his long hair the next day that I lost it and bawled my eyes out. Certainly doesn't help that I was 6mo preggas at the time - Hello hormones! But it grew back, and now I can brush it to the side again. But it needs another trim now, and I'm almost too scared to get it done.

    Maybe I can teach myself via YouTube...

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  4. Having a little girl with fairly long hair makes haircuts much easier. Little madam has had her fringe cut WAY too short which made her look a bit unusual for a few weeks (though it did make her eyes look MASSIVE!) The biggest struggle with hair here is the constant brushing that is required to prevent her from looking like a dreadlocked hippy, finally she is starting to understand that having her hair plaited at night makes it much easier and less painful in the morning. I can't believe how much Older Tricky looks with his new super sharp "do" I see what you mean about him not looking like a baby anymore. :(

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  5. Oh My! He just grew up in a blog post. He is adorable xx

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  6. glad you went back and complained. It looks much better now, super freaking cute actually.
    I once had a haircut when I was 12. I told them I wear my hair up in a ponytail for school. He hacked at it with razor blades making it all layered and feathery so that I could only get the back up in a pony tail and the rest fell into my eyes.
    I should have known that the dude wearing rollerskates would not be the best hairdresser

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  7. 1st - he's adorable!
    2nd - V will be 5 in December and has never had a haircut, not even a trim. These stories just add to my fear. I think I'd have to be really careful of my reaction in front of her, but I'd cry a little inside.

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  8. Ah, so timely. I am taking my 3 and a half (nearly) year old boy for his first trim this afternoon - if the hairdresser does much more than his fringe I know I will cry right there and then.

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  9. I hate it when that happens. I just trim Greenie's fringe when it gets too long in his eyes and then every few months I get my BFF to actually cut it all over. She knows how I like it and is one of those "leave it longer and ask because I can always take more off" type of hairdressers which is safe.

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  10. His first haircut was a home job, only a bit taken off the back because it was growing in a point and looked like a rat's tail :P I can trim fringes, shoulda just done that.

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  11. Good luck!!!! Hope it goes well x

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  12. Thank you, though I don't know why I say that, it's not like it's an achievement.
    I'm lucky he was too little to realize why I was upset. I told him I had a sore finger so he kissed it better and everything was OK in his world again :)

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  13. Duuuude! You had a rollerskating hairdresser?! That's the coolest thing EVAH!

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  14. I watched the video of Jack from Loud Shirt Day again the other day and nearly fell over at the difference a year can make!

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  15. The chunks missing hairdo could have worked on Tricks if I spiked it up, which he lets me do... but he HATES having it washed and i couldn't handle washing it every night to get the wax out. Love the idea of plaiting it before bed to stop the knots.

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  16. You tube is KING! I don't blame you for being too scared to go back!

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  17. Nope, not in training. She was a mature aged, very experienced, lovely person. The manager wasn't happy with how she did it which made me feel that I wasn't just being picky.
    A new haircut for the beginning of summer sounds good :)

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  18. It is totally children of the corn. I will photoshop his eyes red for you.
    Perhaps the hairdresser had a few of those illusions at the bar before you got there? Poor Neala x

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  19. Awwww, bless. You've gotta love grandmothers. Yes... I remember the "I've got a kid!" moment after that first haircut. Lolly's hair always grew in an alluring bowl shape, I decided to go with it, find one that fit, and cut it myself. I figured I'd have years of crying into my wine glass about her hair styles (and how much they cost) so avoided going to a proper hairdresser for as long as possible. Coincidentally, I'm taking her for a long overdue trim tomorrow.


    That Tricky sure can grow some hair. And he still looks absolutely undeniably gorgeous. Now go. Eat the chocolate. You know it wants you to xox

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  20. I would have cried too! I cannot believe what a bad job they did, so glad you complained because, seriously who gave that lady her hairdressing credentials! Anyway, he looks pretty darn cute regardless!

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  21. He is just beautiful. My young miss is a bit of a baldie, so a long way off needing a cut. Not that I mind - it means the totally bare patch where she rubs her head on the mattress is barely noticeable :)

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  22. You are right Glow! He looks so grown up now. He is now your big boy with those beautiful big blue eyes and a cheeky smile that will melt any girl slash boy's heart one day. His hair WILL grow back soon. Don't you worry. PS> truck load of chocolate on it's way as i type... PPS> when i started secondary school my mum cut my hair so short that for the first half of the year people asked why a boy was wearing a school dress! I then grew boobies and no one asked again!!!

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  23. And what a gorgeous boy he is!! If it helps, my 'baby boy' will turn six in November and I still cry that he's not a baby anymore

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  24. You know I've never lamented that he's not a baby any more. Maybe that will come? I've been shocked at how fast he's grown (and how a haircut makes him look so much older) but never wanted to freeze time like I hear other people say. Maybe I'm just weird?

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  25. My dad forced me to get my hair cut off when I was in year 3. An awful "boy cut" that was just shocking. Hated it for ever and swore if I ever had kids that as soon as they could say their preference, they'd be given (almost) free reign over their hair style.

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  26. LOL Emma, I was a baldie, too! Didn't get proper hair until after two.

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  27. It looked like she was in training and that he'd moved around but neither was true. Ugh.

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  28. It's amazing how much a bit of a trim/hack job can change their features! I've done the home trim many a time - always whilst he's eating to keep him still (why is it that he's frozen when they do it yet a fart in a bottle when I do it?!).

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  29. No not weird. I didn't feel like with my first either when she was little. Aston is my third, and last. I think that is why I lament so much. Now that the other tow are firmly entrenched in teenagehood I get teary...like the first time I sat next to Laura when she was driving...that was huge!

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  30. That makes sense, Vic, glad to know I'm not the only one! Xxx

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  31. Oh I hate the 'you're not a baby anymore' hair cut. It's cruel Everytime.
    If it makes you feel better, I cut my kids hair cause I'm cheap, and with Ava's it looks bloody awful and I hate it; it's basically a hack job in my book. But people keep saying she looks very hip with her bob and lopsided fringe, so whatever.
    Tricky is gorgeous enough to pull of anything.

    Also, is it totally weird that with your admission of hormonal, I'm expecting a pregnancy announcement any day soon?

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  32. LOL I wish, Jess. Just standard hormones unfortunately :(

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  33. Oh you poor thing! I remember 'that' haircut when my baby became a boy. There were tears!

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  34. I hope it was at least a good cut! We can't believe how much older he looks.

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  35. Aww, he's so big now!
    I remember all the silly haircuts during school, my "boy" hair cut lasted 6 years until I decided I wanted it long (and as a result, my dad's friends are constantly stroking it to make sure it's real!) and my year 1 photo is me with shortish hair, in a ponytail in the middle of my head. I call it my "Whale phase" lol.
    As to that "Hairdresser" I think they need to go back to hairdressing school, or was flunked!

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