Tuesday, June 12, 2012

10 Things to do during a blackout... when all your friends live inside your computer

The power went out for 19 hours the other day. For someone who spends so much time sitting at my laptop, it was crippling. I have spent longer periods of time offline, but I'd had a chance to prepare for those - empty the inbox, stalk some people on Facebook and charge my phone; all the important things. But this time? Well, this was thrust upon me unknowingly.

Friends were worried about how I'd cope - would I experience withdrawals? Would I have a break down? And, most importantly, how on earth would I keep my lap warm without my precious, albeit almost dead, laptop?

Here are the top ten things to do during a blackout, that *ahem* may or may not be exactly what I did during the #PerthBlackout. 

1. Play find the coffee table with your foot while hunting for candles. Extra points if you find it with your pinkie toe and bend it back far enough that you wonder if it requires medical attention
Jumping up and down in agony after stubbing my toe

2. Use your smart phone to try and find out when the power will come back on. Realize that the entire state is trying to find out at the same time and the site has crashed. Tweet about it, but don't reply to anyone because you're saving your battery.

3. Use the light on your phone to find your proper torch. Curse the day you let your child use said torch as a toy because the batteries are now flat. Hunt around the house for others; check that basket of junk in your laundry, stereos, portable speakers and *ahem* the "special mummy daddy draw".

4. Cook dinner by the light of the gas flame and a couple of candles. Because the rangehood won't work and it's too bloody cold to open any doors, it's likely you'll set the smoke alarm off. Because the house is so eerily silent, the alarm will sound at least 7000 times louder than usual. Tweet a picture.
Candle light dinner prep

5. Turn the light switch on every time you enter a room and feel like a tool. In an effort to cover your stupidity, shout out "I was just testing". Realize that nothing can ever, ever, ever cover how much of an idiot you are.

6. Turn your smart phone in to a wifi hotspot so your partner can check his email and Twitter. Watch your battery life drain before your eyes and shut it down, panicking that you now only have 10% left and no idea of when the power will be back.

7. Play with glow sticks. If you're a male, shove a glow stick bracelet around your tackle and sing "If ya like it then you shoulda put a cock ring on it". Threaten to Tweet a picture and watch him run away, screaming like a girl.
Not sure that's very hygienic

8. Drive a suburb over to an almost equally Twitter-dependent  friend's house so that you can both use your car charger. Cruise the streets checking out the fallen down trees and having a bit of a gossip while the phones charge. Stop to get chips to keep your energy levels up.

9. Go to your neighbour's house and ask if they want to play murder in the dark. Hear them scream and run away to call the police because you didn't introduce yourself first. Make a hasty retreat and be thankful that it was so dark they couldn't possibly give an accurate description.

10. Have a freezing cold shower then jump in to bed and warm your icy feet up on your husband's back while simultaneously warming your hands on his front. Hang on tight, he's likely to buck.

What do you do during a blackout? Does it involve inappropriate use of glow sticks?



    You blogged # 7!!! Laughing so hard again that I can't breathe again!! ^_^

  2. In a blackout you call your son and daughter-in-law every 2 hours and update them about YOUR blackout. Your son totally misses the hints that you want to come over to be in the light.  "Oh, no. I hope the power comes back soon" and he then hangs up.

    I swear my husband needs help focusing on conversations with his mum!

  3. Would you like some ventolin? I can bring some over :P

  4. You have a special mummy and daddy drawer?
    Somehow I think I missed that chapter in the "becoming a parent" book. I need to get me one of those.

    Murder in the dark was the best game EVAH as a kid.

  5. In the wet season here (NT) we get regular power outs due to fallen trees etc in the bad weather. It's usually associated with a cyclone of some description, and it's bloody hot. So everyone heads outside with their camp chairs (because the fans and air-con aren't working so might as well make the most of the wind outside), sets up under the verandah and has a few drinks over a BBQ while they watch the neighbours chase unsecured objects, such as their new garden shed, that have been blown down the road.
    It's entertaining long enough for us not to be too crusty over the lack of air-con and that fact that we're missing MasterChef.

  6. Bwahahaha great suggestions. I know the baby toe bend back/coffee table scenario very well. I still haven't bought a new table after I threw it at the wall :)

  7. Been awhile

    But have memories of several times retrning to CAnberra after a weekend away, and the pilot light out on the gas water heater.


  8. It was in the sealed section of the book. Being me, it was the first section I read :P

  9. I have done #5 SO MANY TIMES.

  10. The_Snowball_EffectJune 12, 2012 at 7:40 PM

    Fingers crossed we keep power tonight. Ours was out for 24 hours. I managed to flatten the car battery on Sunday night charging my phone. Note to self, turn engine on, not just radio when charging phone using the car.

  11. Haha, Love the photos! I don't need a blackout to do #10, I do that every night!

  12. I am so grateful your husband was around to soften the blow... and provide endless entertainment as well! ;)

  13. The Camera ChroniclesJune 15, 2012 at 9:08 AM

    Lol great post! Don't think I could survive without my social media fixes for that long either...

  14. LMAO! I loved #5...I can just see you screaming out, "I was just testing!!!"
    And could Map Guy possibly be the male gigolo version of Beyonce ? I think so !

  15. NINETEEN HOURS?! That's a hellava long time. As if you let your partner use any of yoru precious phone charge? Rookie move, my friend.

  16. I'm glad you taught the table a lesson. Bastard things jumping out at us in the  middle of the night.

  17. We have gas hot water... BUT an electrical ignition so it was freezing cold showers. No where near as cold as a Canberra cold shower though!

  18. Ah yes, the rookie mistake. D'oh!

  19. He can never be trusted with glow sticks again.

  20. I would have started hyperventilating at the 20 hour mark. Lucky!

  21. I know. So disappointed in myself. It will never happen again, Kylie, I promise.

  22. Bahahahah, that's hilarious!

    This is why I am constantly charging my phone and laptop. Just in case. 

    I am pretty sure Mr BB would just go to sleep and I'd hope to God the Kindle was charged so that I could keep being entertained post-battery draining. 

    I hate electrical outages. So boring. 

  23. You are a smart gal, Hannah! Very smart!


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