I've been following the Get Commando Fit program (GCF - I've fulfilled my sponsorship obligations, anything I say about them now is unpaid) and I've been trying my bloody hardest. As someone who eats her feelings, it has been challenging on the hard days to not just go and get a sundae or some chips. Twice I've had a scoop of icecream, but it was a scoop not the whole tub like I'd usually do. And rather than going "well I've fucked up, might as well order a pizza, too" I've tried to be all zen and shit about it. It happened. Move on. Eat better tomorrow.
I know, right, who even am I? Next thing you know I'll be writing fitspo quotes or some shit.
I have motivation for the first time in forever. I'm eating well and exercising, along with doing daily yoga for free thanks to YouTube. Tricky and Bobbin join me most mornings before school, waving their little bottoms in the air for Downward Dog. If my bottom looked as cute as that I'd wave it in the air at every opportunity I got.
I weighed myself last week and I've lost a few kilos, but I'm resisting the urge to do it again until the GCF benchmark test in a few more weeks because I'm one of those obsessive people and I'll end up focusing too much on the number, which doesn't mean much, and less on how I'm feeling. I want to be fit and healthy. I want to be strong. I don't want to be a number.
My clothes are looser and my head is held higher. That's good enough for me.
Right now I'm sore. Bloody sore. And I could sleep for a week and still not feel refreshed because I'm exhausted. My doctor is working with me, doing some blood tests and the like, to help me get on track, and keeping me supplied with lovely pain meds - though I'm taking 1/6th of what was originally prescribed now.
It's a different type of pain, the post workout pain. I don't like it, but at the same time I don't hate it the way I do the muscle and ligament agony that comes with my chronic pain. I'm learning to differentiate between the two and it's a slow process. Figuring out what pain I can push through and what pain is seriously telling me to stop or I won't be able to look after my kids tomorrow.
I'm getting there. I'm planning on kicking even more butt, and having an online cheer squad is bloody amazing, so thank YOU!