Thursday, March 19, 2015

5 Things No One Told Me About Getting Fit

Every day I'm shufflin'. I hope you have that song in your head now, because I do. Doo doo do doo do doo doo. I don't run. I do a part jog, part walk, part stumble "shuffle", hence the song. It's a signature move of mine, a result of having no idea what I'm doing and being in quite a fair amount of pain.

It's week four of my new fitness regimen and I'm doing pretty well. I'm slower and less fit that the average people in my fitness group, but the way I figure it, I'm not trying to be better than them, I'm trying to be better than me. And pretty much anything is an improvement on couch dwelling, sundae eating, chocolate chugging, Glow.

There's been a few things that have come as quite a shock to the system this last month. You know, other than the actual full body shock that is exercise when you're terribly unfit. I wish people had told me this:
  1. You'll be jogging along, knackered but feeling like a bit of a super star at the same time, and a child, possibly your own, will effortlessly overtake you. Little shits.
  2. You will have more washing to do. If you're doing proper workouts there is no "oh, I'll just air it out and wear it again tomorrow", you have to wash everything right now. You'll start showering in your bra to keep it in good condition. A whole extra outfit a day, sometimes TWO! 
  3. You will hurt every day. I seriously thought it would get less painful. I was so wrong. So very, very wrong. I'm only now, a month in, moving from "it huuuuuuuuurts" to "ooh, I really worked those muscles". It's not hurting less, but I'm getting (a bit) fitter. I didn't think it would happen, and for all I know it might turn back around next week because, well, I'm pretty whingey. I'll let you know.
  4. You will go through SO MUCH SHAMPOO. Because sweaty hair is disgusting. Blergh. My pink sections are so faded because I just keep stripping it out every day. 
  5. You will worship good fitting shoes, Epsom Salts, Deep Heat and the pain killer of your choice. My choice is Tramal because my body is pretty fucked. They'll become your own little essentials kit and you will guard them with your life. 
Saturday is my check in day. I have to do a benchmark fitness test, weigh myself and take all my measurements. I'm a bit scared, to be honest, because I haven't got a clue what the difference will be in the numbers and I don't know what is good and not so good. What I do know, is that the couple of times I've shuffled on the treadmill these past four weeks, the machine tells me I've burned few hundred calories. And I'm all THAT MUCH EFFORT FOR A TIM TAM?! Fuck this shit.

I'm trying not to worry about the number on the scale, because it's just a number, but if it's not really changed that much... I admit, I'll be disappointed. I've never been this motivated before, and I guess I'm just afraid of losing my mojo.

Fingers crossed tomorrow's results spur me on and don't make me crash and burn. Wish me strength, resilience, fitness, determination, pain free running, and all those good things.

What your fitness essentials? Did anything shock you when you first started?

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