Glow Industries is proud to present the newest and greatest app ever designed to help you faff around and do nothing all day: SlackKeeperTM
In this increasingly corporate world where hard yakka is, regrettably, rewarded, it's difficult to keep track of your laziness and ensure you spend enough time faffing about on each of your interests rather than doing actual work.
But now, thanks to SlackKeeperTM, being productive is a thing of the past! SlackKeeper is the perfect app for bludgers who want to keep track of their SlacktivitiesTM and simultaneously increase their calorie intake whilst reducing their physical activity.
Left: Keep track of how many packets of chips you're eating and optimize your carb intake per minute with handy, easy to read graphs.
Centre: Using your phone's gyro and GPS features, SlackKeeperTM alerts you when you have been physically active for more than 10 minutes at a time. Because you don't get to be SlacktasticTM by exercising!
Right: Optimize your doughnut eating skills by doing the SlackKeeperTM Doughnut Time Trials - you'll be eating a doughnut a minute in no time!
SlackKeeperTM has been designed specifically for bludgers who are also social media junkies and love to inundate their friends and followers with pointless updates. Your SlackKeeperTM account automatically posts your accomplishments directly to your Twitter and Facebook account - you don't have to set it up, because we know you're too much of a slack ass to do it!
Available on both Apple and Android systems for $2.99, SlackKeeperTM is the most effective app you will ever find to help track, measure and improve your slackness.
At Glow Industries we're so confident you'll be the champion of slacking off after using this app that we're offering a money back guarantee! Use the app for 60 days and if you don't see either a reduction in productivity or a gain in weight in that time, we'll refund your money... if we can be arsed.
Are you gonna get slack with me? If you could create any app what would it be?