Monday, March 26, 2012

5 things not to say to a parent (and by parent I actually mean me)

The pants are out again! Can I get a woot woot?

When my parenting skills are called in to question I can go from zero to Cranky in 1.39 seconds. A quick glance at the news will show you children who aren't being cared for properly and you're going to tut tut at me based on the fact that there is some dried weetbix spot welded to the side of my kid's face? Priorities, people!

Prepare for rant in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1....

Five things not to say to a parent
(and by a parent I quite obviously mean me)

1. You made your son a toy kitchen? But he's a boy...
Really? You're that narrow minded that you're going to feel awkward when my son pretends to cook? A dude can't enjoy cooking? Are you afraid I'm going to feminize him, is that it? Geez, you're gonna totally flip when I show you his Jemima doll and pink teddy. Take your archaic views and fuck off.

2. Oh you're still breastfeeding? Umm, errr, that's, ummm, great... you're gonna stop soon though, right? I mean, it's not beneficial anymore.
Not beneficial? Tricky's needed medication for a cold ONCE in almost two years. Plus I can comfort him instantly when he's hurt, and manage an extra hour of precious sleep every morning thanks to continuing. Besides that, what's it to you? Pretty sure the decision to wean my child has absolutely nothing to do with you. If I want to feed him until he graduates highschool, I will.

3. You don't let your kid eat chips, yet you eat them in front of him? You're so cruel!
Is it also cruel that I drive a car in front of him and don't allow him to take the wheel? That I cook and bake with sharp knives and a hot oven yet don't let him near them? No. I'm the adult, he's the child, he doesn't have to do everything I do. Therefore your reasoning is bullshit and I'm not listening to you.

4. He doesn't talk much... he's lazy.
Lazy? LAZY? Toddler and lazy do not belong in the same sentence. We have gone from a deformity that has the potential to cause developmental delays to a kid hitting milestones just fine and 'normal'. I can't even begin to tell you how awesome that is. Just because he isn't doing the exact same thing at the exact same time as you/your kid/his dad/his second fucking cousin doesn't mean anything. Kids do things when they're ready.

5. He's very skinny... what are you feeding him?
A range of nutritious, home prepared meals, thanks for insinuating asking. This child is eating us out of house and home before the age of two, I dare not think of how it will be when he is a teenager, but it's likely we'll have to take out a second mortgage. He is a clone of his string bean father, blame his long, lean frame on genetics not the fact that he doesn't get junk food. Does he look healthy? Is he running around constantly? He's fine.

What is the one thing someone can say about you/your parenting that instantly makes your blood boil?

38 comments:

  1. people have actually said these things to you? are you serious?

    i may think things about people and how they parent but i keep those thoughts to myself, confined to my own mind and would never dare actually say them to a parent, after all, it really isn't any of my, or anyone elses, business how you raise your child.

    ugh people need to focus on their own lives before they go judging and commenting on others i think!

    ~x~

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  2. we just gave my son a kitchen for his second birthday, and half of it is pink! Care Factor!

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  3. I love that you made him a toy kitchen.  Made my heart light up when I saw it.  Does he really have a doll and a pink bear?  Love that too.
    I love this whole post and every point you make.  You're an excelent parent. x

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  4. Becky from BeckyandJamesMarch 26, 2012 at 3:49 PM

    I honestly cannot believe people would say any of these. Each is a moot point and certainly don't warrant comment. You're doing an awesome job and it's crazy that others think they need to say anything. They're probably just jealous!

    And I love that you made him a kitchen. That he has a doll and a pink teddy. My son can't leave the house without a bit of bling - generally a pretty pink bracelet. He's still very much a boy, in fact his newest word is boobies.

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  5. People are asshats. But I still feel guilty eating things in front of Riley that she can't have so we either share or I hide in the bathroom. I am SO healthy.

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  6. Word for word I could have written this.
    Bluey is teensy just like his father. Greenie has more chubbiness but very lean limbs which tells me he is also following suit.
    My kids have a kitchen, a doll house, dress up's including handbags and the like. Go for it kids! Why can't boys play with this stuff too? I must have missed that rule, because I prefer to get them something completely new rather than another fucking toy car or truck.

    Also, the food thing. YES. My kids aren't allowed so many foods, they know it. Not because of allergies (although sometimes the case with Greenie) but because they just don't need to eat shit. Yes, I do eat it, but I'm a fucking adult and I am paying for my bad food choices and my jeans are reminding me every single day so fuck off!

    Boobies rock and I miss breastfeeding every.single.day.
    Talking is overrated. As soon as they start we tell them to shhh.

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  7. My most hated comment is- "Well I let you kids/my kids eat scotch fingers for breakfast every day/play outside without sunscreen/eat peanuts from the moment they were born and you/they turned out fine."
    Yes Mum/stranger, and adults used to smoke in the house right next to me when I was a kid too. Doesn't mean it should still happen. Times change, deal with it. And I get to decide.how my child is raised, not you, please respect my wishes! Geez!

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  8. People can be thoughtless arses.

    I once had a doctor insinuate that I was somehow stunting the big un's growth because she's very petite, completely ignoring the genetics - two grandmas under five feet tall and a mum who is very thin when not gobbling happy pills ;)

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  9. I had the opposite problem: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, you can't breastfeed?????????? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" and insert superior look here. But my kids are all healthy teens, so meh!

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  10. umm... WTF?! My son is 2 1/2 and has a toy kitchen too and helps me everytime in the kitchen. I breastfed him until he was 19 months and he is tall and skinny so much so that he is still in size 1 pants but they are too short...I eat chips in front of my son too, he doesn't care less, I eat many things in front of both my sons they can't/don't eat. He also took ages to talk but now he does not shut up. Seriously people saying these things to you need to do one thing. Get a Life.

    Oh and the one thing that annoys me is that I need to get his hair cut. He has had a couple but I took so long to get his first hair cut...but yep have had the breastfeeding/too skinny debate with many people. 

    Keep doing what you are doing :)

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  11. I got that too :( people should just STFU lol

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  12. My blood boils whenever the same friends bring up "So, when are you having the next baby?" 

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  13. I'm not a parent and I completely agree with you on all of the above points!

    Something that makes my blood boil as a teacher though is when I hear parents whinge about the $50 - $100 they have to pay on school fees for public school education each year.  Going on my tax returns, each year I spend between $2000 - $4000 on games/resources/books/art and craft supplies/cooking ingredient/stickers etc for my class to use because the school gives you a budget of somewhere around the $700 mark (if you're lucky) to spend on classroom things for the Entire Year.  How can you make learning fun on that budget?  How can the few same old partially broken, missing bits games and toys be entertaining?  How can you do regular real life learning like cooking, science experiments and the like on that budget for a class of around 20 students.  Impossible!!! I am spending that much and the parents of the child I am teaching are whinging about $50!?!!! Fuck me.

    It's good to have a nice rant occasionally isn't it!  In saying that, I have not yet taught this year (and the thought of the above still makes my blood boil) because I've been off sick so I'm saving a fortune!  Even though I'm not earning any money because I'm not working.  Hrm.  Still doesn't add up.. Ahh well!

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  14. You waste too much time and energy with people and opinions you do not need.  The lord gave us two middle fingers, you need to exercise them more often.

    Cranky Old Man

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  15. That's the joy of living in a country where you don't have a full grasp of the language, you get to 'filter' every comment anyone makes about your child so it suits what you want to hear: "Yes, my child is a genious, thanks!" "Yes, creatively gifted too, thanks!" "A wonderment to all humanity, thanks!"

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  16. And you don't even have to spell genius correctly, it's brilliant!

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  17. I'm amazed at the audacity of people to have said those things to you.  I get the feeding comment as well.  My son has my old metabolism, I'm pretty sure he stole it from me.

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  18. I love how all those "experts" are so keen to share their views......idiots!!!

    We only ever gave Miss B water to drink, and she certainly didn't think she was missing out on cordial or soft drinks, but I couldn't believe how many other parents would say how cruel we were for not letting her have these treats, some even got quite nasty.

    She still won't drink them, simply because she hates the taste/fizziness. Same for junk food until she was about 5, she preferred fresh food. This didn't stop me having chips and lollies at her birthday parties, but we also had a good selection of fruit, veg snacks. It was then up to the kids and their parents what they ate, and mine didn't ever feel left out.
    Who cares what they think, they need a new hobby. x 

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  19. I can't believe people actually said half those things! I think i'd come up with a range of questions to ask back, like:
    How come your husband is always so late home? hmmm? hmmm?
    Do you eat a lot of cake? , and
    I can recommend a really good moustache waxer if you ever decide to go for it.

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  20. I totally think things about other people, but you just don't say it!

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  21. Well now that I've looked at it again, it's more purple-y than pink. But he does have a Jemima doll that he sleeps with every night :)

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  22. They must think you have IBS :P

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  23. Love it, Becky! I was so surprised at the comment because it was from a friend in her mid-20's... I wouldn't have expected it from an otherwise open-minded person.

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  24. EXACTLY, Miss Pink. I'm paying for my bad eating habits, and we try to model good food habits for him but sometimes... I just really want chips :)

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  25. Yeeeesssss!!! There are photos of me being held by my grandmother, me in one arm, fag in the other hand. The thing that was worried about though was if ash would fall on me #headdesk

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  26. Probably based on the growth charts from the 1950's too. Doctor Fail

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  27. It's the superior, smarmy looks that make me want to punch people in the throat.

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  28. I know I already replied on Twitter but I'll say it again here. SNAP! Exactly the same, right down to the haircut. I had three people tell me I had to cut his hair or he'd get teased at school... errr he's not even two yet, give him a few years before he has to worry about school teasing.

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  29. GAH! Yes. As Tricky nears two years old I get asked at least once a week now.

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  30. Oh wow that's pretty shocking. Public school funding is terrible, but parents have to contribute too

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  31. I shall keep that in mind next time, Joe!

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  32. I agree with you, Zenlisa. There is such a short time frame in which we can be totally in charge of what they eat to form those good eating habits, so I'm going to do everything I can do make sure he gets the best start.

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  33. Bahahaha yes, I'll have to practice those!

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  34. Hmmm.... let me see.... stupid things people say to me as a parent that make me want to stab them? Have an hour or two?

    1. So are you trying for a boy? FUCK OFF. Besides the fact that this is basically asking if I'm having sex regularly.... why are my girls less important than anyone's boy? I LIVE with your boy.... don't even make me start on why I'm happy with my girls!

    2. She's only two?  Are you sure? But she's so tall. YES. I distinctly rmember giving birth to her approximately 2 1/2 years ago.... not something I'm likely to forget. Yes she's tall, yes I'm a complete short arse, but have you met her daddy? He's well over six feet in his socks and he's about to get cranky about you being insufferably rude to me.

    3. So you have an older girl? She's....? Ten actually. Yes indeed. Ten. That's a seven year age gap. Yes, I know. I see your raised eyebrow and bid you a black eye.... And if you dare to ask WHY I may have to get medievil on your arse...

    4. Why can't she have it just this once? Because I. SAID. NO. And I am her mother so bugger off.

    So much more... but I raised my blood pressure just adding these!

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  35. Yes, yes and more yes! The trying for a baby one annoys me so much.

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