Next up for the guest posts is Bree who will regale us with stories of criminals and condoms.
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I've travelled a lot. 16 countries and counting and if there is one thing I've learned, it's that memories of hard travel times fade and often become the best stories post-trauma, I mean post-trip!
I remember travelling through Paris and being stalked by a snivelling teen who was intent on picking my pocket. Several times, I looked at him and gave him my "I know what you're doing arsehole, now back off look", but he persisted unsuccessfully, which pissed him off tremendously. He ended up pursuing us from the overpass where Lady Diana was killed, down into the Metro Station, where he hit my Godmother over the head with a half empty plastic bottle filled with Fanta. To my surprise I stood up and mouthed "F*@K YOU".
Apparently the F bomb is a universal language because he lunged at me, but was thankfully held back by his equally snivelling friend, who dragged him away.
Traumatic experience yes, but groovy story no?!
So I went on to become a breeder and still loving to travel we packed up our 10 month old, aka Squishy, and took ourselves to Greece. Travel with a 10 month old brings a whole new set of challenges and sometime trauma.
We visited the Island of Mykonos (awesome place), and one day we decided to take the bus around the island to Agios Ioannis beach, which is the location where Shirley Valentine was filmed. We found the bus that would take us there, it was a 1960's flash back that smelled like 50 years of second hand Greek smoke and urine and off we went.
Sometime later we were dropped off in a cul-de-sac at the end of a cliff near a dumpster full of rubbish and the bus drove away, not to return for two hours. We humped the Squishy into his backpack and we started off up a road to nowhere, hoping it led somewhere. It led to a beautiful secluded beach and the only access was to scramble down the sheer cliff face on your backside which we were not doing with a 10 month old.
So there we stood in the middle of nowhere, unable to access this beautiful beach and unable to leave for another two hours. To top it off the Squishy had a poo explosion. With no place to change him, we lay him on a change matt on the rocky road while he cried his little heart out and changed his bum.
It was only when we were done, we noticed we had changed him about 5cm from a used condom - aah! With nothing else to do, we trudged back up the road, singing Monty Python's "Always look on the bright side of life" and waited for our bus. Waste of a good day in Mykonos yes, but groovy story no?!
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