Saturday, September 22, 2012

Bindii is a bitch

I am, without a doubt, a brown thumb. When I love and care for a plant it thrives... it's just that after a few weeks I lose interest and, well, everything dies. Or the weeds take over. Again.

Map Guy and I have this vision of growing our own food, maybe even having some chickens. He's even planted seeds before and enjoyed watching them sprout before becoming distracted and they ended up being strangled by weeds. Turns out the lose-interest-everything-dies thing isn't confined to the women in this house.

I sprayed the yard to kill the weeds a few weeks ago (you can send your angry "you're killing the planet with chemicals" email to me at and then spent this afternoon on my hands and knees pulling them out of our back lawn. Bindii is a bitch. Not to be confused with Bindi, who I'm sure is quite lovely when you get past the unnatural happiness she radiates.

I'd clear an area and move on, only to look back and see five more of those little fuckers that I swear weren't there before. After a few hours my hands covered in vicious Bindii injuries (because I wasn't clever enough to get gloves first) and my back was in spasms. Which I'm convinced means I now have tetanus and will soon die a protracted and rather painful death.

I had managed to pull most of the prickles between the pavers and the trampoline - prime bare foot toddler real estate and therefore the top priority lest I spend the whole summer shouting "TRICKY, PUT YOUR DAMN SHOES ON!". But that area is only about one tenth out of our whole gigantic, weed riddled backyard meaning the urge to drink a bottle of weed killer rather than face the rest of those prickly green buggers was rising.

I've heard so many people say that pulling weeds is therapeutic but to me that sounds like complete bollocks (I did however find the glass of chardonnay I skolled afterwards much more therapeutic).

On surveying the rest of the Bindii riddled lawn and it was all I could do to not to put a match to it and watch those bastards burn. I have it on good authority that Bindii is the number one cause of suicide in Australia. I can see why.

Do you enjoy gardening? Do you find weeding therapeutic? You're quite welcome to come to my house for some free therapy. Because I'm giving like that.


  1. I want to want to enjoy Gardening but with my Hayfever in full force come the fine weather, followed closely behind usually by a scorching summer, my desire to get out into the garden wanes quite quickly.

    Our back garden is also a jungle of weeds at the moment and I AM pulling them up section by section but the motivation is again quickly waning and I'm currently looking at getting quotes in for someone to come and totally clear my back garden, level it, so we can start afresh!

    Some may call that lazy, I call it smart ;)


  2. Go the chemicals! Big round-up fan here. The only time I found weeding therapeutic was when I was late-stage preggers and I could sit on the verandah with a cold drink and watch the husband do it. Between the dogs and the burrs our back yard is a lost cause, but I've just started to take an interest in making the front pretty. And yes, in my head there are also grand plans for a veggie patch and chook pen. 

  3. I have been obsessively trying to get rid of Bindi in our lawn too, I think it may have become an addiction. I had to restrain myself from pulling them out at the park the other day... I think I have a problem!

  4. Wow now that IS going a bit far! Hehe! I notice them everywhere now

  5. You know I've never tried roundup? I'll have to look in to it!

  6. I have a desire for a gardener. But for now, section by section like you. LOVE the idea of having it leveled and starting fresh - we did that... and then did nothing and the weeds grew. Learn from our mistake :)


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