Did you know swaddling a baby tightly can cause hip problems? Me neither. {giveaway}

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The number one question most mums are asked when they have a baby is "is s/he a good sleeper?".

I usually say yes because Bobbin sleeps like a baby. She wakes a few times a night to feed, and when I hear her stirring I pop her in bed with us and she feeds to sleep (oh, my!). And after nights when she has woken six times because she is growing like a weed, I still say yes, because she's a baby and that is how babies sleep. Though I will admit to saying it less enthusiastically on those mornings.

We've been road (bed) testing the Joey Pouch and the Joey Swag from Australian owned and operated company, Bubbaroo, over the past few months.

Bobbin started out in the cotton waffle (mmmmm, waffles) Joey Pouch and I really liked it because it let her legs move which is really important for clicky, developing hips. Whilst we didn't need to brace Bobbin's clicky hips, the Joey Pouch is the best swaddle for a babies' hips because it allows the natural frog leg position and is roomy enough to fit in baby and brace if needed. I didn't even know that tight swaddling can lead to hip problems until Bobbin was being checked out at the hospital. Cue enormous amounts of mother guilt for not knowing and wrapping Tricky up in a straightjacket for his first six weeks. Oops.

Bobbin preferred her arms held a smidge tighter when she was very new so she actually wasn't a fan of the pouch at first. She liked it more as time went on and she did end up sleeping in it right before she started rolling - when you can't use a swaddle any more. Typical!

She graduated to the Joey Swag, a baby sleeping bag that won gold in the 2013 Mother & Baby magazine awards. Since it was a graduation, there was a ceremony with mortarboards and certificates. No, not really. By this stage she was wanting to fall to sleep with her arm over her eyes (the cutest!) so having them out was a must. The swag is lovely and we've been using it a lot because I've got another kicker on my hands. The moment a sheet touches her, up go the legs and within seconds it's gone. I may or may not put her in the sleeping bag and go "AHA! Try and kick that off, sucker!!". Ahem.

I've had sleeping bags before but I've never had one with the seatbelt hole to allow you to strap them in safely when they're asleep - super handy! Nor have I had one with the double ended zip to allow easy nappy changes - super duper handy!

The Newborn Pack contains the Joey Swag and the Joey Pouch and retails for $99.95 - a 20% saving compared to buying them separately. I have three $99.95 vouchers to use online at Bubbaroo - so you can buy the Newborn Pack or use it toward something else in store if you're past the newborn stage (well you're past the newborn stage, but your baby, youknowwhatimean)! To win, tell me below what is the best thing to do while your baby sleeps in their Bubbaroo? If you don't have Facebook you can leave your answer as a comment, but please make sure you leave your email address so I can contact you.

Birthdays and memories

For the past few years, on January 7th I send a text, or an email, or sometimes both, to someone to say happy birthday.

Every year there is no reply.

And every year I am crushed just a little bit more.

I didn't know it was possible for someone to hate me so much purely for being related to someone else.

I sent emails and pictures of Tricky when he was born and they too, went unanswered. I created new email addresses just in case he has mine blocked and I have even used the contact form on his work's website, to no avail.


When Bobbin was born, I couldn't bring myself to send another email, another picture, because the lack of response kills me a little bit more each time.

Today, as soon as I opened my eyes I started crying. I miss him more on days like today. I miss him more every time Tricky gets a postcard and I remember fondly how he used to send me postcards from all over the world when I was little. They would always be so funny. Once he wrote "I'm writing this slowly because I know you can't read fast yet". I always looked forward to seeing him when he flew home, and when he moved back permanently I thought it was brilliant. I worshipped him.

I've realized that the feelings I have for him now are more akin to mourning than anything else, yet he is still very much alive and works only a suburb away. I drive past his work most days and wonder which car is his. I haven't dared to go in, because as much as I long to see him, I think if he told me to go away to my face that I would crumble and I wouldn't want to compromise his professionalism with my tears.

A few years ago, in one of the many emails I have sent, I included my blog details, just in case he wanted to see how we were going but couldn't bring himself to make contact. I wonder all the time if he has ever looked it up. Seen the pictures, followed the stories, thought nice things about us and smiled.

L, if you are reading this, happy birthday. I miss you, I love you. x

Ten things that make me disproportionately happy

I'm trying to do the whole "ac-cent-you-ate the positive" thing right now and be all mindful and zen and shit. Becoming one with the cement dust or something like that, in order to not go all the way to fruit loop town (I'm on the bus, just hoping to get off before the final stop).

Today I did something that made me ridiculously chuffed, and led to so much mental high fiving and fist bumps despite it being completely stupid (point 6 below). It got me thinking of all the silly little things that make me happy. What better way to feel a bit less blah than to write down a list of awesome stuff?

So here it is, ten things that make me disproportionately and ridiculously happy:

1. Getting a shady parking spot - if it's on a day where the temperature has gone above 38C then I have been known to do jazz hands all the way from the car to the shop and back again.
2. When my favourite meal base is discounted - it's a 30c saving but I go ape shit and buy six.
3. New stationery - for my fellow stationery aficionados, this needs no further explanation.
4. Eating Brie - I only "discovered" soft cheeses about two years ago. Brie and I are now BFFs. Serve it to me with some crackers, olives (also a recent love) and quince paste and I will do practically anything for you.
5. Clean sheet day - especially if you have a bath and exfoliate your whole body because then it is clean sheet day and squeaky clean skin day combined and the result is wanting to lay naked in bed and feel the delicious contradiction of soft yet crisp linen. Oooh I'm getting excited just thinking about it.
6. Changing lanes without hitting the cats eyes reflectors - did you even know that was possible? I try to do it every time I change lanes if there is no one else around. When I succeed I feel a little bit like the Stig.
7. An organized linen cupboard - I have just got a walk in linen cupboard and I have been known to just go and stand in there and inhale the scent of freshly washed sheets and gaze upon them folded nicely and stored in the pillow slips. And what's that? Clear tubs for Christmas decorations, wrapping paper, clothes for donating and space to hide presents? *faints from happy*
8. When the car in front's indicator is blinking at the EXACT speed as mine - the OCD me freakin' loves this. I may even do a little shoulder shimmy in time to the clicking. Move to the beat, y'all.
9. Hearing my favourite song on the radio - I may have it on Spotify and be able to listen to it at any time I want, but when it comes on the radio it's like a sign that the day won't be so shit.
10. Receiving mail that isn't a bill - something I've ordered, a letter, a card, whatever it is, I feel excited to see who it is from and love that someone took the time to do it. I'll be taking the time to send more cards this year because I'm pretty sure everyone likes mail. 

Tell me what little things make you disproportionately happy.

The wrap up post that isn't a wrap up post

I feel the urge to write a wrap up post. One that notes any achievements, the highs, the lows, the ins and outs. But the motivation wanes almost as soon as my laptop boots up. And it is a quick boot.

I'm struggling to put pen to paper and fingers to keys right now and as a result my head is swirling with thoughts that need to be purged. They're keeping me up at night and distracted during the day.

It feels like I can't even have a conversation anymore because I forget what I'm saying as all the thoughts wrestle amongst themselves vying for attention.

None of these acrobatic thoughts are profound, or even mildly important. They are as mundane as they come: sweep the floor, make some muffins, don't forget the appointment on Tuesday, visit the grandparents, pick up milk on the way home, write a blog post. If they were life changing thoughts I might feel less annoyed that they're keeping me from doing anything.

I know this is part of feeling a bit low, so I know it will end soon as my mood continues to lift and I return to a sense of normalcy. But right now, right in the middle of it, I'm exhausted. Bone tired.

I started wearing a fitness tracker that I got for my birthday and it also tracks sleep patterns. After seeing the results, it is no wonder I'm so tired. An average night for me is 5.5 hours sleep, awake 4 times, restless 19 times.

So there will be no wrap up (please, we all know it would centre almost entirely around the beautiful little girl we made and her most spectacular birth). And as for goals for the New Year? Well, a focus on health - my mental health. Doing something to relax, something I enjoy, something just for me once a fortnight. Having dedicated work days and not doing work on the off days. Keeping my house tidy (when it is finished). You know, the stuff normal people do.

It will be operation do not burn out. And it will be done. 2014 will be full of awesomeness. And sleep.

Letter to Bobbin - four months old

Dear Bobbin,

Hey there, not so little girl! Merry Christmas and happy four months.

Yesterday we celebrated your first Christmas and it was so lovely. We spent the day with us and your Perth grandparents, your Aunty Penny and your Great Aunty Colleen. You were a little grumpy the last few days, a little under the weather, but after lunch and a big sleep you perked up and became your usual smiley self.

You got some lovely gifts; some bibs, a brush, a Babushka, a feminist tshirt and your first ever Barbie doll. It was pretty funny to get those last two on the same day!

I am amazed at how different you are to your brother already. Your personalities, whilst both chilled, are stark opposites. You are much more vocal, put everything in your mouth (Tricks never did) and are quick to let us know when you're frustrated. And you continue to look more and more like my side of the family every day.

Right now your favourite things to do are sit in the Bumbo and bang your toys, chew Sophie the giraffe's back foot, chew your own foot (always with the feet - it is a disturbing trend, m'dear!), chill out on me in one of the carriers or laugh at your brother.

Because it is all anyone seems to ask about, you do sleep pretty well. You wake once or twice a night for a feed and then fall right back to sleep. You spend a lot of time in our bed, and your brother is still coming in to bed with us so it is getting a bit squishy! We will have to upgrade to a king size bed I think!

Having you close all the time and watching you fall asleep is just divine. You put your arm over your eyes and your feeding and breath slows. It is the most relaxing part of my day, I can't help but feel calm when you are so relaxed.

I grow more and more in love with you every day. I am so lucky to have you and your brother.

Love Mama xxx