Braxton is a Hick

If Tricky was a library book, I'd have gotten a stern reminder letter and threat of a fine by now.

My Obstetrician doesn't think he is due until the 1^st of June, but I thought he was due on the 25^th of May because of a miscalculation when I first gave him all the information. It doesn't really matter anyway since such a small percentage of babies are born on their actual due date... apparently only 5%, with 75% coming after. That leaves 20% coming early, including all the premmies. So if we're going to place the safest bet, you'd chose after.

I had an appointment today to get checked out to see if anything was happening and without turning this in to the too much information super highway, I can tell you there is definitely some movement at the station. The OB in all his infinite wisdom assures me that it is “any day now”. Gee, thanks, I could have bloody told you that!

For the past three days I have had a strangely regular pattern of Braxton Hicks contractions. They come about five minutes apart, getting me to the point of thinking that this might actually be early labour when all of a sudden... nothing. They completely stop. It isn't strange to have BH contractions, or for them to be close together or for them to stop, the thing that is weird is that every time it happens it lasts for almost exactly five hours. Five hours on, five hours off. Does Tricky have access to a stopwatch that I'm not aware of? Perhaps he is doing a tally on the placenta like a convict carving the days on a cell wall?

Yesterday at the five hour mark they didn't stop so I emailed Hubby saying exactly what we had joked I would say: “I have no idea if this is the real thing, but I'm having contractions five minutes apart.” He left work within minutes but by the time he was home (under an hour later) they had stopped. They had been so strong and regular that we both thought I wouldn't make it to the OB appointment today, that instead I'd be seeing him in the birthing suite. Wrong again. Hurry up, Tricky! We just want to meet you!

So tonight I will go back to fondling the acupressure points that are meant to help dilate the cervix... I already have miniature bruises on the spots because I've been pressing them for a week. It is handy though because now Hubby and I can locate them without thinking!

Bonus, baby!

Hubby and I are down to living on one wage (like a lot of people I don't qualify to get maternity pay) and right now is when all the bills are coming in. We chose to go to a private obstetrician because we have health insurance and the idea of continuity of care really appealed to me. But down the business end of pregnancy that gets mighty expensive! Having to see the obstetrician fortnightly and then weekly adds up very quickly I can tell you - and this is for a complication-free pregnancy I might add, who knows how much it would skyrocket if something was going in an other than textbook fashion.

I could rush in here and say “I'm not complaining...” but we all know that would be a lie. I am complaining. I know there is nothing I can do about it, I chose to go privately – but having a little whine will make me feel a whole lot better. At least we don't live in the United States (although universal health care did just get signed in, its not up and running yet). I read the blog of a Texan woman (awesomely titled 'His boys can swim!') who did not qualify for health insurance and subsequently had to pay all her medical costs up front out of her own pocket. She kept track of every pregnancy medical bill and the grand total was over $10,000! This is before she's bought any clothes or a cot, making the $1000 challenge look almost pathetic in comparison. We get to sign a little piece of paper for most of our blood tests and get partial refunds from Medicare for every doctor's visit - until you stop to think about it, its easy to forget just how lucky we are. We don't have a perfect health care system by any measure, but right now I'm very grateful for it.

Then of course, we can add to that the Baby Bonus. According to the Family Assistance Office, the Baby Bonus is to paid to families following the birth (or adoption) of a child in recognition of the extra costs incurred by the new addition. Its means tested so the amount of money you receive depends on your income (and some other criteria), but if you were to receive the full amount it is currently a whopping $5185 paid in thirteen equal fortnightly instalments. Not bad. Not bad at all. Definitely better than a poke in the eye with wet fish, or however that saying goes. Plus there are all sorts of other payments like Family Tax Benefit A and B, the immunisation allowance – and as soon as I figure out what those things are I'm sure I'll like them too.

However if I was able to change the system in any way it would be to have those lovely fortnightly payments starting about now. Finish off the nursery, pay those bills and be a little less worried about making the mortgage payment on time... and of course the new plasma TV - practically a right of passage for new parents since the Baby Bonus was introduced.

An A-Z of Pregnancy Part II

Kicks – Tricky is an active little bub, but I really have no idea if what I feel are kicks, punches, general position changes or what. So I prefer to think of him as playing skippy with the umbilical cord, doing a work out routine (possibly using my kidneys as free weights to shed that baby fat) or playing air guitar.

Linea Nigra – This is the name of the dark line that women can get during pregnancy, that runs from the belly button down to the pubic bone. Mine is starting to get darker now and looks like someone has taken a brown texta and drawn on me, perfectly cutting my abdomen in half. It serves no purpose other than a nice reminder that our bodies will never be the same again.

Mothers' Day – This year Mothers' Day falls on May 9^th, a few weeks before I'm due. Do you think I'll get a present from Hubby? Hrmmm?

Nutrition – If I ate the amount of food recommended by the guides and nutritionists I'd be looking like Augustus Gloop from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Six serves of this, five servings of that every day. I've always had a healthy appetite but this is ridiculous! I don't know anyone who can ingest that much food without having to go to hospital for emergency stomach pumping. I might be eating for two but Tricky only weighs 500grams right now, its not like he's wanting a rump steak all to himself.

Obstetrician – My Obstetrician is a lovely old Chinese gentleman. And that is not a term I throw around willy nilly, he is truly a gentle soul. During visits while he is waiting for the ultrasound machine to come out of sleep mode, or for the blood pressure monitor to beep its result, he hums. Hubby has no idea what they are but thanks to twelve years of Catholic education I can recognise them as hymns. I'm not a religious person but knowing that he believes in a God as opposed to thinking that he is one, is reassuring.

Public Transport – I get to work via bus and train every morning and get a seat pretty much every time. Coming home is a different matter... only very occasionally will I get a seat after standing up all day at work. I lamented to a heavily pregnant friend that I couldn't wait to be a bit bigger so that people would actually see that I was preggers and offer me a seat, but she said that everyone just looks down and pretends they haven't seen you – and its TRUE! Passengers will pull their books up to their noses or get out their mobile phones and ignore not only me but the frail elderly woman who is eyeing me off, figuring out if she can get to the seat quicker than me or not, and if its safe to whack a pregnant woman in the shins with her cane. So far only one person has offered me their seat and she was on crutches! I couldn't take her seat off her though, but together we gave 'evil eyes' to the teenagers on the next bench.

Queasy – I still feel sick every now and again, mainly when I can smell food cooking. I've always had an “iron stomach” when it comes to seeing icky things but that seems to have gone along with my girlish figure. Walking from the train station the other day it was obvious someone had a rather big weekend by the trail of vomit they'd left behind – I had to hold my breath and run with my hand over my mouth to stop myself being sick!

Research – Like most first time mothers'-to-be I've been looking up websites, trawling the local library and getting my hands on every journal article I can find about pregnancy and birth. I'd say its because I'm trying to be a responsible parent and whilst that is partly true, its mainly because I know nothing and am freaking out a bit. There are so many options and even more opinions. I was reading one book about birthing the natural way and the author made so many valid points... until she wrote about how her moments old daughter remembered the umbilical cord being cut and how traumatic it was. My bullshit detector was making big woop woop woop noises at that one!

Stretch Marks – I have little white stretch marks already on my body from being a curvy gal, so I'm assuming that its like a stretch mark party and more are invited. But these suckers will be the big, fat, angry, red and purple ones. More stuff to look forward to... great. Can I buy shares in Bio Oil?