Contractual obligations

I am now officially overdue, even by my Obstetrician's dates, and fast running out of both patience and possible sweepstakes contenders. What happens if Tricky comes after the dates everyone has guessed?

The Braxton Hicks contractions have now been full on for almost two weeks and I will admit to feeling like a complete failure already – and I haven't even tried the hard bit of giving birth yet! I thought the feelings of inadequacy were coming later - after Tricky is born and I start screwing up his life as Freud assures me I will. But no, it's here now and I'm only on the starting blocks of motherhood.

The pain of the BH contractions isn't that bad, it is more the relentlessness of two weeks of them and the knowledge that they're going to get worse and become real labour before they eventually go away. Yep I'm whining but c'mon, this is getting ridiculous.

It has gotten to the point where I am even thinking about being induced. Me who wants as little medical intervention as possible is considering having a synthetic hormone dripped in to my veins to start contractions – even though I know that once you have one intervention, the chances of another sky rocket.

Everyone I know who was due around the same time as me or later has given birth already... and I'm jealous! I realise how pathetic that is, but as I sit here having even more BH contractions, I know that the grass has never ever looked so green over there. But what if that green, lush grass turns out to be prickly astroturf? Could I, knowing what I know about all the possible side effects on both Tricky and myself, actually go through with an induction without a medical reason? Or is my sanity worth more than the chance of complications?

Is it selfish of me to want this to be over? The hip pain, the heartburn (both of which get worse the bigger this guy gets), the poor sleep, the back aches and the constant contractions... how much can I take? I think the government should employ me in the new role of state sex-ed teacher in schools, because after hearing me complain this much, what teen would risk unprotected sex?

Did you struggle playing the waiting game? How did you handle it? Leave a comment, my mental health may just depend on it.

Sweeps

Some people celebrate the birth of a child with cigars, champagne, presents, investment portfolios or sports club memberships... we are celebrating Tricky's imminent arrival with a spot of light gambling.

The rules for the sweepstakes are pretty simple: pick a date, pick a weight, pay $5 and sit back and wait to see if you get the cash – winner takes all and it's almost $150! To make sure everyone had a fair chance of winning they were told my actual due date and the date that my obstetrician wouldn't let me go past without being induced. If two people had the same date then it would go to the weight with the person closest without going over being the winner – it's just like being on the Price is Right except that Larry Emdur is replaced by Hubby's mate, Neil.

The dates picked span a massive 22 days – starting with Aunty Penny's pick on the 17^th of May (guess she didn't win since I'm sitting here with a belly full of baby still). She thought Tricky would take after me and be a week early, but he seems pretty happy swimming around in goo at the moment. For $150 I'm considering picking a date no one else has chosen (funnily enough, my official due date) and booking in for an induction!

I'm very ready for him to arrive. Even though it means actually having to go through the birth process - which is understandably a little daunting - it also means an end to the constant heartburn, the dodgy hip and top of Hubby's list... an end (or at least reduction) in the snoring! By day I'm your average, waddling preggo, but by night, watch out – I'm a chainsaw! It's similar to turning in to a werewolf, except I don't tear you limb from limb... I make you want to do it to yourself.

So for now I'll continue drinking my raspberry leaf tea and attending my pre-birth acupuncture and yoga sessions to get my body ready... and just wait.

Did your bub come on time?

Pins and needles

Today I had my first “Pre-Birth Acupuncture Treatment” at a great little place called East Meets West, a Traditional Chinese Medicine practice in Tuart Hill.

So what is a pre-birth treatment and what does it do? Starting from 36 weeks gestation you go in for weekly pin-cushion sessions that are designed to prepare the body for an efficient labour by ripening and softening the cervix, helping position the baby (they offer a separate, more intense treatment for breech presentation), promoting blood flow to the uterus and encouraging optimal energy and stamina.

They also claim that research at a major midwifery practice in New Zealand showed that these treatments are able to reduce the number of inductions, reduce the need for epidural anaesthesia and reduce the need for emergency caesarean sections (their site has some statistics but I won't bore you with them here).

The service was recommended to me by one of the women I met in antenatal class (the one who also wanted delayed cord clamping), because she did it and found it very helpful. Mind you, it appears to have worked so well for her that her baby came a week early! She experienced a quick (less than twelve hours start to finish) and natural birth, required no artificial pain relief and was absolutely thrilled at the way everything turned out. That's what I want!

I'm feeling really positive about it, not only because of a personal recommendation but because during the session (the tiny needles are left in for 20 minutes) I was simultaneously treated for a bout of heartburn I was experiencing – and by the end of the appointment the heartburn was gone. Whether it was the dozen or so miniature stab wounds doing their thing or it was the placebo affect I don't really know... but I also don't really care – either way it was gone and that was BRILLIANT! After taking out all the needles, the practitioner then put “seeds” on these heartburn spots – a tiny little metal ball on what is basically a little bandaid – for me to press whenever I feel the burn or to use as a preventative three to four times a day for 30 seconds. Plus as an added bonus, on the third session Hubby is invited along to learn the pressure points he can press for labour pain relief (although whether he decides to press his or mine remains to be seen).

Acupuncture isn't for everyone though, and I'm sure some will think I'm just going way too hippie freak. But I'm going to try everything I can to help me get through this birth as naturally as possible for as long as possible. I've already trained in meditation but having never meditated DURING LABOUR before I don't know how good I'll be – so a few other bits and pieces might be necessary. Next stop, the aromatherapy store!

Disco Inferno

I'm at the end of the second trimester of my pregnancy and other than there still being no sign of the Glow, so far everything is going great. Ignoring the first trimester sickness and lethargy hurdles, I've been very lucky not to be affected by lots of the other complaints that can come for someone in my 'delicate condition'. You know the ones, rapid weight gain, stretch marks, constipation and haemorrhoids – which coincidentally happen to be all the ones you really don't want to hear about. But I've still got three long months to go, so I'm not quite counting my chickens just yet.

I've only got one annoying symptom and that is the dreaded heartburn! Pregnancy hormones relax all the ligaments and valves in your body to prepare for birth, but unfortunately the result of that is stomach acids seeping up in to the oesophagus causing a burning sensation from the breast bone up to the back of the throat. Its worse when you don't have gravity on your side, like when you'd like to lay down and go to sleep – so now I sleep propped up on three pillows, practically towering over Hubby. Whenever it strikes though, I try to be mindful (read: Hippie new age accepting of all things) and remember that its all part of the journey. But that tends to last about five minutes max before I reach for the Gaviscon or QuickEze. At this point I try to be mindful again but always fail and end up with a mental image of Tricky playing with matches. Or possibly a blow torch... burn, baby, burn.

Then there are the exciting things that make the agony all worth while (I'm told the birthing process relies heavily on this concept too). Tricky is moving more and more every day and has even started settling in to the standard pattern of being rocked to sleep while I'm moving around and then waking up to try out for the gymnastics team as I lay down at night. In the last few weeks Hubby has been placing his hands on my belly and then looking a little dejected when he couldn't feel anything... until last night! Tricky had the hiccups and it allowed me to position Hubby's hands right where the movement was centred. The grin that spread across his face instantly was one of the most awesome sights I've ever seen. Next up I'll have to get a box of Maltesers to train Tricky to kick on cue.