Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Contractual obligations

I am now officially overdue, even by my Obstetrician's dates, and fast running out of both patience and possible sweepstakes contenders. What happens if Tricky comes after the dates everyone has guessed?

The Braxton Hicks contractions have now been full on for almost two weeks and I will admit to feeling like a complete failure already – and I haven't even tried the hard bit of giving birth yet! I thought the feelings of inadequacy were coming later - after Tricky is born and I start screwing up his life as Freud assures me I will. But no, it's here now and I'm only on the starting blocks of motherhood.

The pain of the BH contractions isn't that bad, it is more the relentlessness of two weeks of them and the knowledge that they're going to get worse and become real labour before they eventually go away. Yep I'm whining but c'mon, this is getting ridiculous.

It has gotten to the point where I am even thinking about being induced. Me who wants as little medical intervention as possible is considering having a synthetic hormone dripped in to my veins to start contractions – even though I know that once you have one intervention, the chances of another sky rocket.

Everyone I know who was due around the same time as me or later has given birth already... and I'm jealous! I realise how pathetic that is, but as I sit here having even more BH contractions, I know that the grass has never ever looked so green over there. But what if that green, lush grass turns out to be prickly astroturf? Could I, knowing what I know about all the possible side effects on both Tricky and myself, actually go through with an induction without a medical reason? Or is my sanity worth more than the chance of complications?

Is it selfish of me to want this to be over? The hip pain, the heartburn (both of which get worse the bigger this guy gets), the poor sleep, the back aches and the constant contractions... how much can I take? I think the government should employ me in the new role of state sex-ed teacher in schools, because after hearing me complain this much, what teen would risk unprotected sex?

Did you struggle playing the waiting game? How did you handle it? Leave a comment, my mental health may just depend on it.

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