Tuesday, July 17, 2012

This one time, I pissed myself laughing {with giveaway}

This post is about vaginas and balls. Hooray! I wasn't entirely sure if I should post it or not but after a discussion with my mothers' group about taking away stigma and making people feel less alone, I decided this was a community service thing. So here we go...

Childbirth isn't too kind to a gal's pelvic floor, ya know? Actually, even if your bub came out the escape hatch you're not immune because it's the act of carrying a watermelon for forty weeks that puts the most pressure on it.

Once you start showing a bit of baby bump it seems everyone wants to drill it in to you to do your pelvic floor exercises. From midwives to OBGYNs and passing motorists, they all seem to shout "Squeeeeeeeeeze! CLENCH!" the second you're within earshot. And now, it would seem, I'm getting in on the act, too.

If your pelvic floor is weakened it can mean light bladder leakage. LBL. Or, as it's known in my circles, PMSL. Now we don't want LBL or PMSL when we're on a night out in the CBD wearing our LBDs (with no VPLs!) while we drink UDLs. OMG, who drinks UDLs anymore? I mean, WTF?

So yes, for the record, if I've been coughing constantly or I'm a little *ahem* intoxicated and laughing with my girlfriends and I have a full bladder, then I have to clench like no one's business to prevent it happening.  Do you have three friends? Well one of you more than likely has LBL because 25% of women do - when coughing, laughing, sneezing, jumping or sometimes just because.

For the handful of men that may happen upon this, don't panic, when we tell you we might piss ourselves laughing it's not like we empty our entire bladders as soon as you say something bordering on witty. It's different for everyone but it might just be a drop or two which, after discussing with Map Guy, feels exactly the same as when you put it away "a shake short". Not the nicest.

20c piece for comparison

Anyway, back to the laydeez. This little Ben Wa-ish ball will help strengthen your pelvic floor muscles to help with bladder control. It's called a Laselle Kegel Exerciser from Intimina and yes, it goes inside of you. There are different weights you can try (it's like resistance training for your vag!) and you can connect more than one together depending on if you've read 50 Shades of Grey how advanced you are... do you have an advanced vagina?
"Beneficial to all women, Kegel exercising is recommended to reduce the risk of incontinence, prepare for a healthy pregnancy, help regain pelvic strength after childbirth, and maintain vaginal tightness"
This little sucker makes it less likely you'll be avoiding jumping up and down since the exact same muscles are used to have a really great time in the boudoir it can have a positive effect there too... which is sorta just jumping up and down of a different nature, really. In short, it can make your sex life a-maaaay-zing. 

If you freak out every time you're going to sneeze, cough or laugh then you'll benefit from this. If you've always wanted to try one and have been too embarrassed to buy one, then now's your chance.

I have eight of these fab little things valued at $19.95 each to give away and no, I'm not going to make you comment publicly or share it on your Facebook wall in order to enter.

Complete the entry form below to go in to the running to win one of the beginner balls - your name will not appear anywhere. Then think about emailing this post to your mothers' group, your sisters, your mums and your friends... 25% of them will be effected.

This competition is now closed.
Thanks to the 1038 people who entered!

This is not a sponsored post. However an admin fee was charged. Full terms and conditions can be found here.


  1. I have one

    And I need to review it from the point of view that despite never having kids, I've always had erm.... issues... with leakage.... when doing starjumps.

  2. i use these...i think they are great and sex is so much better!

  3. Interesting, def curious about how much this might help!

  4. My bestie was drinking UDL's last night!
    Random useless piece of knowledge for ya ;)

  5. Is it wrong that I'm actually excited to enter this giveaway? *blush*

  6. Not at ALL Sharon!! It's a pretty fab little gadget :P

  7. I wasn't even sure if they still existed!

  8. Awesome, Bec, thanks for sharing it with us. Hopefully it will spur on a few more people to enter :)

  9. I've only been using it a week so I can't really comment yet, but I've heard good things :)

  10. I have the flu with a nasty cough, so right now it's pretty much like I've just given birth, argh!!!

  11. You never seem to fail to amuse me with your writing. Do you think there is a test for just how advanced a vagina is? Not going to enter as I've never had kids, and i'm not having sex, but I may be writing the name down to look further into for the future :P

  12. Mommy AdventuresJuly 20, 2012 at 4:01 PM

    Glad I'm not the only one... I just wrote a post about wetting myself on the treadmill. Not a home treadmill, at the gym. Sigh. Also, I reviewed the kegel balls too (with illustrations...) :) And now they've sent me a massager that I thought was for shoulder and back massages. Then I opened the box and it looks like a...um...you know....

  13. A girl can never have too many "back massagers" :P

  14. I think you're on to something with the test, Natalie. I'm thinking three of the heaviest balls tied together then tied to a coffee table. If you can lift that, you get a gold star.

  15. Mum of Adult KidsJuly 24, 2012 at 1:47 PM

    It goes where?? ;-)

  16. I was just whinging to hubby that I may have something wrong in my waterworks department and that I should perhaps go back to my OBGYN after suffering I am guessing for the last 3 years, since my little Miss is about to have a 3rd birthday. Thanks for talking about it, I am going to diagnose myself with LBL, lol, OMG now I have to do something about it. One must PMSL or otherwise might cry about it.

  17. I'm very much in the if you don't laugh you'll cry group, too! Luckily though there is so much that can be done :)


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