Friday, January 20, 2012

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Wiggle War Edition

Toot toot, chugga chugga, big red knife in the back.

What could have been a triumphant return from sickness for Greg Wiggle has turned in to a PR nightmare after it was discovered Sam Wiggle had been shafted with bugger all notice. The PR Fail was clinched though with an awkward interview on the Today Show.

Here's an artist's rendition my understanding of where Sam is now:

Sam, mate, call your union Woman's Day, but for now, perhaps a little Flog will make you feel better?

Are you Team Sam or Team Greg?? Or Team I-Don't-Fucking-Care-As-Long-As-It-Keeps-My-Kids-Quiet-So-I-Can-Have-A-Hot-Fucking-Cup-Of-Tea?



Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Of Twitter Haters and PR Fails

This post was going to be a standard Mummy Blogger post about how I got up at 5:30am the other day (alternatively known as the ass crack of the day, a time when no human should be awake) so Tricky could see the bus that Map Guy had hired for a bucks party. It was going to be warm and fuzzy and leave the females in the audience with aching ovaries at all the cuteness of an excited toddler's dreams coming true as a bus pulled in to our driveway and took him for a ride up and down the street.

But all that went flying out the window when I checked Twitter at our post-awesome-bus-trip breakfast on the edge of the Swan River and saw this:

Gee, tell me how you really feel.

So I had a look at Biker Vet's account, found out he followed fourteen people, had nine followers and tweeted mainly about bikes, the defense forces and bad PR. No other tweets anything like the one directed at me, so it obviously wasn't just a random hate account. Someone I know? An ex? A friend of a friend of a non-friend who's decided to be a super mature keyboard warrior, hiding behind a pseudonym?

I of course decided to take the moral high ground and not be caught up in it. Well, I would have, but it was much more fun to do this:

Which I think sorta upset him. Or perhaps it was the half dozen retweets of it? Or the tweets of others, like Super Daddy saying not only did he give a flying fuck but a rat's arse too. Love my tweeps!

He countered:


Riiight. So I'm a clueless, vacuous bimbo who needs to get a life, yet HE'S the one spending time sending hate tweets? The irony bubbled up around me and I went for a swim in it! Irony spa FTW!

But I'm thrilled to find out I apparently work in PR. Sending a few muesli bars and calling people Dear Blogger? I could totally do that, thanks Biker Vet for your encouragement to change careers!

By this stage a few people had noticed and were asking what I'd done to make this guy so cranky at me. I told them I had no idea and he was obviously watching my tweets because he replied:


And attached this photo with one name blocked out:


Yes, that's right. I did a reply all to @claytonwfu5y who had spammed us all (that account is now suspended because I always block and report spam) and for that, I am being called horrid names as if we're in a playground. And for the record, one of the others in the group, who understands what a reply all is, retweeted it.

Interestingly on Biker Vet's timeline he complains about clicking on a link that has now infected his email account... there is NO LINK in my tweet, I'm complaining about said link in my tweet, yet I'm the spammer?  Sheesh!

Just after that tweet I get an email from a newly created Biker Vet gmail account (a warning popped up that it was a new linked account) saying "This was posted to my business twitter account. It may not have come from you. Please confirm." with a copy of the same image with the name blocked out.

Ohhhh right, so he checked it was from me after calling me a clueless, vacuous bimbo? Way to jump the gun, Biker Vet.

So I assume (possibly making an "ass out of u and me", but hey, I'm gonna go with it) that the name blocked out is Biker Vet's business account that he mentions. I also assume that Biker Vet has no idea that I can find this out by a two second search of my own timeline. And voila, we have our answer.

Mr Biker Vet, you are unmasked... and I could spill the beans and tell the world (well a few thousand readers) who it was that was posting such crude comments about me, but I'm going to restrain myself for a few reasons, number one, because I don't want a barrage of readers to go to your website and give you traffic and number two, I won't be pulled in to a defamation lawsuit.

But I know who you are. So how about I click on over to your page and see what you do, shall we? Oh, look at that, you do personal training and... wait for it... PR! Can you say PR Fail?

I have replied to both tweet and email (cc-ing in his real email address that took a whole five seconds to find on his website), stating that it was a reply all to a spammer... and he's refusing to reply to me. Radio silence. Crickets chirping and tumbleweeds. Me thinks he's not so tough now that I know his real name?


So kudos, Biker Vet, for a massive PR Fail before your PR company is even off the ground.

What have we learned from this adventure? The internet is forever, everything is traceable, I'm now classed as Twitter Royalty for having a hater and my tweeps are awesome. The end.

I'm putting this to bed now. No Twitter flame wars on my behalf, thanks.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Shit Oz Bloggers Say

Behold, the awesomeness that is Styling You, Big Words, Baby Mac, WoogsWorld, Edenland and yours truly saying, well... shit.



Subscribe to our YouTube channel because we've got a LOT more shit to say, and follow the awesomeness on Twitter at @shtbloggerssay

Massive thanks to Nikki for orchestrating and Rob for editing our shenanigans.

Monday, January 16, 2012

10 Reasons Why I Don't Trust You

Trust. It's a strange thing, really, because if I trust you to take care of my house while I'm away it doesn't mean I trust you to borrow a treasured possession; if I trust you to look after my dog, it doesn't mean I'd trust you to look after my kid; If I trust you to look after my kid it doesn't mean I'd trust you enough to be a confidante. Trust in one area doesn't automatically generate trust in another, just as lack of trust in one doesn't necessarily mean lack of trust in others. That's getting a little too philosophical, so let's just get on with the rant.

I'd like to preface this post with a little note: These are all from personal experience so if you think I'm talking about you... I probably am. Best you know though, right?

1. You drink/take drugs and drive. I could care less what you do in your own time, but the second you get in a car when you're under the influence, I have lost all respect for you. If you're planning a road trip and promise me you won't drive stoned while my loved ones are in the car with you, and then blaze up at the first truck stop... well, there's not much you can do to redeem yourself from that.

2. All conversations are a way for you to bitch about someone behind their back. I'm not stupid you know, if you bitch about everyone else then it's pretty much guaranteed you're bitching about me too. So I won't tell you anything of consequence because I know you'll twist it and before the week is done the woman down the road's step-son's cousin knows.

3. You blatantly lie to your fiance in front of me about something so huge that affects both of your lives, then give me that look that says "shhh, don't tell". You've just brought me in to your lie, you schmuck. If you want to screw up your own future, do it, but don't make me the bad guy who either did or didn't keep your secret.

4. Your emails/tweets/blog posts are full of simple spelling mistakes but then you pull out words like "crwth" and "tsktsks" on Words with Friends to beat me. YOU CHEAT! No more Words with Friends for you!

5. You suggest the perfect wedding gift for Map Guy would be for you to sleep with him because he had a crush on you a few years before he met me. I'm sorry, what fucking planet are you from? Are kitchen appliances too passe these days that we have to give sexual favours?

6. You've barely spoken to me for more than five minutes over four and a half years while you swan around, flying business class back and forth around the world, then pop up asking to borrow a large sum of money. You can't just decide to be friends when you want something.

7. I loaned you my most amazing, most expensive reference book that I paid a shed load of money for... and you left the country. Do they not have a postal service in the UK so you could send it back? I miss my beautiful book and it's making me a sad panda.

8. You tell me bum doesn't look big in these pants when it's blatantly obvious I look like a whale in spandex. 

9. You sleep with your mate's wife. This is particularly scummy if it's done approximately one week after having a giant, albeit slightly drunken, conversation with myself and said mate about the importance of fidelity. It reaches the height of douchedom (is too a word) when you do it in the next room while your mate sleeps. Not cool. Not cool at all.

10. You sleep with your husband's mate. See above for further info.

Why don't you trust someone?

Friday, January 13, 2012

FlogYoBlog Friday: The Friggatriskaidekaphobia Edition

Hey Flogstars!

Today is Friday the 13th *insert howling wolf noise here* and to celebrate I have gone and made myself look all purdy scary for you.

How are the boys/wherewolves/vampires/zombies
not falling over themselves to get to me?

OK so I cheated. For Easter I actually used makeup but today I'm cheating because, as always, there's an app for that (iAmZombie - it's free if you're wondering).

Go and make yourself in to a Zombie and upload your image to the Where's My Glow? Facebook page for a bit of Friday the 13th shenanigans.

But for now, let's Flog, Zombies!

How to FlogYoBlog
  1. Follow Where's My Glow?
  2. Bow down at the alter of Mummy Time; Blog-goddess, all round groovy gal and creator of FYBF
  3. Grab the FYBF button and post it on your sidebar or in the post you're linking up
  4. Link in your favourite/best post from the week (don't just put your homepage URL)
  5. Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger then be nice and spread the comment love


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