And then my faith in humanity was restored

If you follow Where's My Glow? on Facebook you'll already know this, so here, look at a picture of a cute puppy instead.

If you don't, or the stupid, incomprehensible Facebook algorithms mean you didn't see it, the other day I shared how disappointed I was at the withdrawal of support for Sydney wedding photographer and personal friend Fe Lumsdaine after she photographed a same sex wedding and shared on her page just how much she loved being part of it.

I wasn't the only one. A number of Fe's friends shared their sentiments on our personal and blog FB pages encouraging those who support marriage equality to support Fe. Well, you lot all came to the party so I wanted to say thanks. If we could group hug right now, I'd be up for it.

Like a lot of people, Fe didn't take too much notice of her numbers... until they started dropping. A few people made no secret of the reasons behind their decision to back out and unlike her page - they were leaving purely because she stated her support of the couple she had photographed and the love that shone between them.

Not the couple in question, obviously - that is from a private collection
Copyright Lumsdaine Photography. Used with permission

I was so sad that a business could suffer for promoting equality. Then sad turned to angry, because, well, let's blame hormones - everyone else does. Who am I kidding? Ignorant twats annoy the shit out of me.

I'm not perfect, you already know that. I'm guilty of being intolerant, too. Normally of dickheads.

When people are being bigoted twats I find it super hard to just shut up and be quiet. The Status Quo doesn't get changed by people sitting on their privileged bottoms with fingers on lips.

You do have a right to your opinion. But when your opinion includes out dated, fear-based stereotypes that go against discrimination legislation then I have a right to not give your opinion any weight (and think you're a douchecanoe at the same time).

It was not long ago, in many parts of the world, that black people were treated like second class citizens and interracial marriages were either frowned upon or illegal. Hell, in Australia, Aboriginals and Torres Straight Islanders weren't even citizens! Less than 50 years ago they were classed under the Flora and Fauna Act. As animals!

Also not the couple in question, but still a lovely photo!
Copyright Lumsdaine Photography. Used with permission

Women had to fight to be allowed to vote, participate in government, own property or have paid employment after they were married. Even rape within marriage wasn't criminalized throughout the country until 1992! 1992!!! New South Wales kicked it off in the early 80s, but it took the rest of the country a whole bloody decade to catch up to the fact that saying "I do" once didn't mean "sure, have your way with me whenever you damn please, even when I say no".

Continued pressure on government changed these attitudes. From being marginalized and ostracized to being considered human beings with human rights (I know it's not perfect still, just look at the gender pay gap and Indigenous health differences, but a hell of a lot has changed). It can be done again. We just have to stand up and be counted.

This story has a happy ending. A lot of you did stand up. The likes on Lumsdaine Photography's Facebook page have increased by almost 35% since the first post went up. What started as fear, hate and bigotry has ended up being a tale of love, equality and support... and being part of it was amazing. You little bloody beauties!

The way I see it, the more people that stand up for equality, be it marriage equality or otherwise, the quicker the law will change. With any luck when Tricky is my age he'll look back and say "I can't believe it wasn't legal to marry someone you love!".

*Not sponsored in any way, shape or form. At all. Not even a promise of super squishy hug the next time I see her... though I'm pretty sure I'll get one anyway!

Marriage is so gay

Image Credit

I never understood the concept of two people promising to love each other forever. I'm a realist who doesn't believe in the happily ever after of fairytales despite thinking that it would be awesome to have a knight in shining armour whisk me away to live in a castle with maids and talking mice and shit.

I think it would be more realistic if marriage vows stated "the person I am now will love the person you are now forever... but I really hope when we change we're still compatible" because people change. They're allowed to. It's healthy.

Then I met Map Guy. He was less knight in shining armour and more dude in a metallic green XR6, but nevertheless, I fell for him. Hard. When Map Guy and I decided to get married, we didn't do it in the "stereotypical" (i.e. what Hollywood would have you think is normal) way of man asks woman via elaborate Youtube flash mob dance routine, woman squeals and says yes, woman goes slightly insane immediately planning wedding, man hangs back and waits for it to be over.

In fact, when we met, we were both anti-marriage, though for very different reasons. In fact I was so anti-marriage that if I ever saw a bride on her way to her wedding I would have the insatiable urge to shout "GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!". 

We softened slightly and Map Guy proposed we be engaged in perpetuity because it wasn't quite as icky and formal as marriage but it was an outward statement of how much we meant to each other. Nawwww. I agreed, we had a party and, as an added bonus, I got some rockin' bling. That was meant to be the end of the story but then, after almost a year of being engaged, I asked if we could seal the deal. I asked him to marry me.

See? People change! Barely two years earlier and the thought of marriage would have me convulsing and here I was doing the asking.

But all through our changing of minds there was never a question of if we could get married. It's legal for us. And I firmly believe that any two consenting adults, regardless of their chromosomes should have that same right. Denying gay people the right to marriage because it makes some people uncomfortable is like banning gstrings or Meg Ryan movies because they make some people uncomfortable. You don't see me going around with placards demanding an end to miniature pieces of underwear and the burning of all copies of Sleepless in Seattle, do you?

That might seem like a really simplistic view, but in my mind, it IS that simple. If you don't like it, don't do it... but don't stop anyone else from fulfilling their dreams to marry the person they love or watching You've Got Mail.

People change. Let's see the law change too.

I'm getting a bit word cloud obsessed, aren't I?

I'm linking up at My Mummy Daze

Do you believe in marriage equality? Why? Why not?