Wednesday, January 27, 2016

8 things that broke these school holidays

It's the last few days of the school holidays here in the west and parents everywhere are rejoicing.

I'm normally a fan of the holidays and having my kids home. I get to pretend to be a teacher or a Playschool presenter (dream job!), or whatever, and get messy with glitter and all that fun shit. As a bonus the kids quite like it, too.

I say normally though, because these holidays have kicked my butt. A few weeks ago I was officially counting down until school began. Only two weeks! With a public holiday in the mix! You can do this, they can smell fear, just grab the paper plates and pipe cleaners, you can do it!

Things that were broken these school holidays:

  1. the LG tablet screen when the Trickster accidentally dropped it - though shattered is probably a better descriptor.
  2. a doll's bed - because Bobbin pretends she's a doll and uses it despite it being weight rated for a rag doll.
  3. a remote control car Christmas present - one bloody day after Christmas
  4. the sound barrier when my kids screamed at each other for 1000th that day - oh dear gawd, the screams! 
  5. the dog's bowl after being run over by Bobbin's scooter.
  6. Bobbin's scooter - the dog bowl incident had no survivors.
  7. my headphones as they were unceremoniously yanked from my phone by a small person who is not allowed to touch either phone or headphones.
  8. my spirit, my resolve, my faith in myself as a parent - see item 4 and others for details.

There were probably more things, but I've either erased them from my memory in order to protect my psyche and prevent me from rocking in the corner, or there was just so much fighting and screaming that my brain shut down and didn't register them in the first place.

Seriously, where did my gorgeous kids go? The picking, the fighting, the hitting, the body slamming!!! Where did they even learn that move?! One minute they'll be playing lovely together and the next they are at each others throats, trying for blood. Is it an age thing? I bloody hope so, because it's fucking exhausting refereeing tiny anarchists.

Yet now, a few days out, and I'm all sad panda because the holidays are almost over and I will miss Tricks so much when he isn't around! Contradiction much?

Do you love or loathe school holidays?

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