My sweetheart, I am so, so sorry. A mountain of shame and regret weigh heavily on my shoulders for forgetting you were with me that day. I need you to know that it is not because I don't love you, just a sign that I am losing the battle against insomnia of late and have been really distracted. If I could go back in time and make it right, I would. But I can't change what happened, so instead I'm going to use it as a profound learning experience and tell everyone I know how easy it is to forget your baby in the car in the hope that it might just save a life one day.
The whole thing has rocked me to my core. I love you and I love being your mother, so the thought of something happening to you fills me with dread. The idea that I could be responsible for that? I just can't even. I can't bear to think about it any more. I've decided that after this weekend, I will stop beating myself up for it and move on as best I can, taking joy in your last few weeks of baby-hood before you turn one. Extra cuddles, extra kisses, sleeping together and being worn.
You have been busy the last few weeks, taking your first steps at 10 months and 10 days old in to the waiting arms of your Aunty Penny. It was magical. Your Dad and I were both there to witness it and we all shouted and clapped at such a great milestone. I, err, may have been a little overzealous with my cheering because you got scared and cried... and didn't walk again for a week! Your preferred method of getting around is still your funny half crawl half scoot, but you will walk around the room and strangely, walk on placemats. There was one on the floor and you wanted to walk on it... so we put them all down, creating a path for you, and you just kept going. Excuse the crappy phone footage, but hurrah, we got your second lot of steps on camera!
You have an obsession with climbing. Nothing is safe! Tricky's table and chairs? You managed to climb up and stand on the table. Anything you can get a foot on, you will climb with no fear. You climbed a slide and a ladder the other day (with Nanna and I spotting you so you were safe) and didn't falter. STOP IT. Mama has had enough heart attacks, thanks.
The second music starts, you bop along and go for ages. You sway to the dancing unicorn toy and play it so much that I'm regretting putting batteries in it. But it's just so cute, so maybe I'll just put tape over the speaker. Clever mama.
Your favourite word is no. Surprise! You shake your head and say it whenever we say it... usually because you've thrown your food or water bottle on the ground. You can just put it down, sweetie, you don't have to throw it, OK? Your second favourite word is Tricky. You crawl around the house calling for him, it's so cute.
As we head toward your birthday, the party plans are starting to take shape but I have no idea who to invite because you love everyone and are happy to play with every kid you meet. So the guest list is currently around 100 and will be culled to approximately 15 people. Mama has to keep to her budget, ya know!
I can't wait to see what this next month brings, my smoosh.
Love Mama x